Extreme Angst: 11 yo Version
September 16, 2013 2:15 PM Subscribe
I need advice, a life coach, a parenting coach, a therapist. In the meantime, please help me to determine the seriousness and most of all what to do when my 11 yo son is so distraught over a series of seemingly trivial events. Please help me know what to say.
posted by RoadScholar to human relations (34 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
So my 11 year old son has been home from school for 1 hour and has had the following upsets:
rice instead of noodles in chicken soup, not wanting anything with ketchup in it, discord with the swim schedule as it disagrees with a time his friend is available to play electronics although this is not an electronics day, I accidentally packed 2 brownies in his sister's lunch instead of 1 in each lunch so he didn't get one, not having been signed up for very casual intramural sports (kickball), finding out that he had the sign-up sheet and never gave it to me since 9/6, someone accidentally spilling a little bit of water on him at lunch, not remembering to get his assignment book signed by me this weekend (meaning possibly not getting to go to a party event later this year due to missing this homework). Some of these upsets have resulted in extreme crying and harshness to himself and everyone around him, probably four or so separate loud crying incidents.
I don't even know what to say. I say I'm sorry and that's too bad and there's always next time. About the brownie I said that it is not that huge of a deal, just one brownie. About the intramural sports I said that we can probably still sign up but he was crying so violently that I finally had to say that it was fine that he was sad but he had to go to his room until he could control himself because he was disrupting everyone. I realize these are not big upsets in the scheme of things but he is this upset and I am very sad for him that he feels so badly and seems unable to roll with any little issue.
Is this normal? I'm worried that these reactions are so extreme.
What can I say? I feel like someone better at parenting than I or with better examples to pull from would know the right reassuring thing to say.
I'm pretty stressed lately. Maybe for some good reasons and just some general depression and anxiety. I feel like he would be far better off with another parent. My mind gets in a rut of I don't know what to say, anything I say will be bad, if I say nothing that is bad too. I'm feeling extremely indecisive about everything lately so it makes sense that I don't know what to do here either.