A body therapist for the mind
September 15, 2013 4:41 PM Subscribe
What type of therapist, counsellor or coach am I looking for? I have integrated a lot of my childhood traumas and abuse - both physical and psychological - into my body which has resulted in having a great deal of resistance to taking care of myself. I am seeing a talk-counsellor and I have a solid intellectual foundation in psychological health but it's not helping me take care of my physical health. Woo and professional suggestions welcome.
posted by the fish to health & fitness (13 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I have heard of kinesiologists but don't really understand what they do. I had a reiki healing some years ago which had an immediate and amazing effect on releasing pent-up blocks from my body. It was a gift from the reiki practitioner so I wasn't concerned about being scammed. I just lay there and let her do her thing.
I literally dream of being physically healthy, supple and fluid but I am psychologically blocked in my waking life from taking the steps required to be so. Anytime I take concrete steps to achieve this body-life I want, I self-sabotage. A lot of the emotional abuse I endured as a child was around my desire to be physically active and healthy - my dance classes were stopped, my bike taken away, my sports participation was stymied. I was constantly told I was no good at these things by my abuser and therefore had no right to enjoy them. On the flip side, my abuser berated me for not being pretty and slender and physically attractive - things which would have reflected well on them and upped their own low self-esteem.
I can't do things on my own like watch a yoga dvd and complete the moves. I just stop. Pre-paying for classes doesn't make me go to them. I am not depressed - I find a lot of joy in life and have a good solid social circle and career - but I do have this 'thing', a interior voice or a internalised persona akin to my abuser, that sabotages any efforts I make to look after my body and make it healthy and comfortable. My abuser projected all their body issues onto me and I was a great internaliser!
My talk-counsellor is very good at talking and discussing my past abuse with her helps, but due to my extensive readings and years of self-exploration into the effects of my abuse, nothing she says switches a light on to why I can't do the things I need to do to take my physical health seriously. I feel our sessions are just validating that yes, the abuse happened, my abuser was a damaged person, I didn't deserve it or make it happen - stuff I already know.
I need something different, something physical and guided with a practitioner who can understand that emotions are lodged in my body, not my voice box. What type of practitioner or range of practitioners am I looking for? What other resources may help me?