Why did our cat become an asshole?
September 15, 2013 11:24 AM   Subscribe

So we have two cats, an older tortie (12) and a middle-age tuxedo (9). The younger one has always been a complete sweetie, who only play gnawed with his teeth and never used his claws. So he got out, and got lost. He was gone for 7 days and we found him at the local humane society. Ever since he's come back he's been 1) aggressively affectionate with us and 2) a complete asshole to the other cat. He also now makes use of his claws. The other kitty has now confined herself to about 2 hiding places in the house, where she also uses the bathroom. Our house doesn't allow us to put them in separated areas of the house. What the heck is going on and how do we fix it?
posted by leotrotsky to Pets & Animals (9 answers total)
 
Sometimes when cats get out they get menaced by other cats, by dogs, and by humans, and this warps their personality for a while. Have patience, and if you have to, consider getting Feliway or Rescue Remedy and see if that invites a change in attitude.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 11:33 AM on September 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


Your cat has lost his innocence. He will probably settle back down in a few weeks, not exactly the same as before but more or less as mellow.

Feliway would probably help them both. Hopefully your house arrangement at least allows for you to spend some quiet time alone with the older cat, maybe in a bedroom?

You may need some higher-intensity toys for the younger cat to burn off some excess energy. He probably got more exercise in those 7 days than he gets in one sedentary year.
posted by Lyn Never at 11:42 AM on September 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


My cat suddenly hated her brother when she was sick with a fever. It might be worth a trip to the vet if you haven't already had him checked out.
posted by something something at 11:44 AM on September 15, 2013


The sudden personality change can definitely be due to the combination of being lost & then stowed with a lot of other animals (scary smells!). Cats do experience trauma. The "aggressively affectionate" bit is reminiscent of how my cats behave when I come home from a long trip. However, as something something also notes, this is a classic sign of physical illness, so vet trip if you haven't already gone.
posted by thomas j wise at 12:26 PM on September 15, 2013 [2 favorites]


Yes, it sounds to me like he is just stressed and acting out.

What you might do is leverage the cat's increased affection for you and gently discipline it when it is acting badly toward the other cat.

If the behavior keeps up, one of both of them might benefit from kitty valium or kitty prozac.
posted by gjc at 12:38 PM on September 15, 2013 [1 favorite]


So I've got two cats, Buffy and Jack (see profile for baby pics!). Back in the winter of 2009, I got into a really bad car accident which ended up with Buffy lost in the woods. She was gone for nearly two months before we managed to trap her and bring her back home. Before all of this happened, Jack and Buffy were super snuggly all the time, and pretty much inseparable even when they were just chilling out. On Buffy's return after we found her, they did NOT get along AT ALL. Hissing, growling, and it was clear that neither one really recognized the other enough to feel comfortable.

We kept them separated for about three weeks with Buffy confined to the downstairs as much as possible and Jack upstairs. Basically, we treated it similar to how you'd introduce a new cat into the household. Even after that separation period, it's taken a really, really long time for them both to come back around to seeing the other cat as friendly and not scary. Almost four years later, they're finally starting to really be affectionate with each other. I don't think you should be worried long-term about behavior problems between the two cats, but I think it could be really helpful to find some way to keep them separated in the short term.

With your description of that being tough to do, you might actually think about buying a really cheap tent, big enough to fit food, a bunch of toys, and a litterbox, and setting it up indoors with the younger cat inside for a few days. That might help both cats can get acclimated to each others' scents and presence again, while keeping them separate enough so that stressed-out behavior and claws don't become a huge issue. A trip to the vet for the younger guy is a good idea too, especially if the behavior doesn't settle down soon. I think it will though - it's one of those things that just takes time. Congrats on finding your lost guy - I know all too well how stressful losing a pet is!
posted by augustimagination at 4:11 PM on September 15, 2013


How long has the kitty been back?

Also I agree a trip to the vet might be a good idea just to make sure everything is ok.
posted by radioamy at 8:58 PM on September 15, 2013


Periodically one of our cats escapes for a few hours, and often when he comes back he's a total jerk to his littermate, whom he usually adores. The easiest fix we've found is to take a well-used hand towel from the bathroom (which contains our human smells) and rub it over first one cat and then the other, back and forth, so that all the smells (all us humans and both cats) get all mixed up and all over each cat. The aggressive cat appears to be confused or calmed by this, and stops attacking the stay-at-home cat.
posted by Capri at 12:09 PM on September 16, 2013


Younger cat spent an extended period in an environment where a cat needs to aggressively establish and defend territory—he's simply continuing that behavior now. His aggressive affection toward you, the fighting with the other cat, all of that. It will die down once he realizes that he has a consistent supply of food again, older cat is not going to attack him while he sleeps, and there are no intruders sneaking up on him to lay claim to the house. It will just take some time.
posted by Eicats at 1:15 PM on September 17, 2013


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