Please help me to understand the drinking culture of my boyfriend
September 13, 2013 5:22 AM Subscribe
My boyfriend is german and I am spanish. We are both in our early 30s and are together for 2 years. Our relationship is good and in general we deal quite well with the fact that we come from very different cultures. However, there is a topic where we always fight. In my opinion, he drinks too much and too often beer. In his opinion, he is doing what all his friends and family are doing and he even drinks moderately compared to them. He doesn't like to get drunk every time he drinks but he likes to get boozed.
posted by maggie32 to human relations (44 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I think he likes this state where communication is just easier and he is more relaxed and less inhibited. It annoys me that in every social situation he normally drinks to reach this point (except if he is driving) and that alcohol is not the main activity, but something that accompanies all his social interaction. Also, he is quite a big guy (200 pounds) and he needs to drink quite a lot to reach this point. Normally he doesn't drink during the week but both nights at the weekend (maybe one night 6 big beers an the other 2/3) and maybe sometimes after the football match on Sunday (around 2/3 beers).
I also drink, but less often and much less compared to him. I also like to feel boozed but lately, I was coming to the point to realize that all my interaction when I am talking with other people is fake, because I am not really myself, but a happier version of myself. I come from a culture where people only drink to celebrate special occasions, or when you are a teenager (just a phase). I am drinking now more often because in this culture (I live now in Germany) it is like this but I am not sure I am quite happy with it. With my boyfriend, we came to a compromise that he won't drink most of the times when we are together alone but I have to accept that he will drink when we are with other people or when he is alone with other people.
For some strange reason I still don't quite understand him and I would like to have more opinions from people that have a similar drinking culture like him, so that I can understand why is it like this. I think I grew up with the idea that drinking is something bad and can only be accepted if it is drinking together with eating and never with the intention to get drunk. I quite don't understand the "heavy social drinking" culture where I live in at the moment.
Thanks and sorry for the long post!