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Name That Fat Cat
September 11, 2013 8:06 PM   Subscribe

So we just adopted this big girl from the Humane Society 2 days ago. We don't know anything about her past. She was abandoned there a week ago. She's HUGE. Big-boned, long, and FAT. She has 26 toes and weighs 25 pounds. She is thought to be about 4 years old.She sees our vet on Friday, and we expect she will be put on a reducing plan, but she will always be quite large. She's quick to purr, loves scritches on the butt, between the ears, and under the chin. We thought we had come up with the perfect name: Butter Buddha (or Buddha Belly), but have since gotten several excellent ideas--Refrigerator Purry, and Mrs. Butterworth. We are reconsidering her name. But we don't want to be too hasty in case another more perfect name is out there. Ideas?
posted by QuakerMel to Pets & Animals (89 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
 
Xena?
posted by floweredfish at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2013


Rotunda.
posted by scratch at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2013 [9 favorites]


Now that is a Duchess if I've ever seen one.

Duck or Duchy for short, though this will raise her ire and she might have your heads snicked off.
posted by OnTheLastCastle at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2013 [19 favorites]


Caramel
posted by HuronBob at 8:10 PM on September 11, 2013


I vote for Mrs. Butterworth because I laughed out loud.
posted by Countess Elena at 8:12 PM on September 11, 2013 [26 favorites]


Butero (butter + Botero)?
posted by Scram at 8:15 PM on September 11, 2013


She looks like a Shirley to me.
posted by xingcat at 8:15 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


LOAFY
posted by elizardbits at 8:19 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Fat Walda. Manderly.

(Mrs. Butterworth is a good choice too.)
posted by fingersandtoes at 8:20 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Harriet Prettypaws
posted by SpecialSpaghettiBowl at 8:20 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Mrs. Butterworth for sure.
posted by parki at 8:21 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Queenpin. Anyone who doesn't get it isn't cool enough to know your cat.
posted by theichibun at 8:22 PM on September 11, 2013


Mixalot.

She likes her big butt and she cannot lie.
posted by 26.2 at 8:22 PM on September 11, 2013 [6 favorites]


Bertha
Beulah
Momma
posted by sparklemotion at 8:22 PM on September 11, 2013


I also like duchess, because calling a cat "duck" is hilarious.
posted by FirstMateKate at 8:23 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Mrs. Beans
posted by honey.orange.honey at 8:24 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I may be projecting here, but I'm a little sad that this nice friendly kitty may get saddled with a name that speaks to her hopefully soon-to-former weight problem. She's young and therefore able to learn/relearn how to pounce and play. But 26 toes is extraordinary! Her name is Mary, short for Marathon. Until she slims down it can be Queen Mary, like the monarch or the elegant (but enormous) ship.
posted by carmicha at 8:24 PM on September 11, 2013 [11 favorites]


refrigerator purry is funny. how about refrigerator hum. or hum for short. or humvee.
posted by wildflower at 8:26 PM on September 11, 2013


She's definatly a Lady, so whatever you decide to name her, it should have a Lady in front. I.e. Lady Chubs, or Lady Bon Bon.
posted by katypickle at 8:26 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


I agree with carmicha, and as a sometimes-bigger woman, often am weirded out when people make fat jokes about their animals, or other people, including names and nicknames. It seems to reflect an interest in size as opposed to individual qualities. This is a beautiful healthy cat and, though I'm sure you're right that she'll need to lose weight, I've also spoon-fed a couple of pets who were underweight and ailing and know how much of a risk underweight is for animals, too. So I like Duchess (she is regal) and that sort of thing.

For some reason she looks like a Louisa to me.
posted by Miko at 8:28 PM on September 11, 2013 [9 favorites]


i read an article about the mafia in italy about a year ago, which mentioned a female godfather nicknamed "la gattona" which, the article explained, meant "the fat she-cat".
posted by bruce at 8:31 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


This cat looks like she has a human name; something fairly serious like Margaret (not Maggie), Candace, or Helen. On preview, seconding Louisa!
posted by heyforfour at 8:31 PM on September 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Thirding Louisa, but Margaret is also fantastic!

(Not Maggie, but maybe Marge).

I also think it's a little mean to name her a fat joke.
posted by rue72 at 8:35 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Edwina
posted by Area Man at 8:36 PM on September 11, 2013


Mrs Butterworth is too awesome to pass up and would be adorable for any size cat.
posted by HMSSM at 8:36 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Theodora
posted by SpecialSpaghettiBowl at 8:39 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Juno, as in Junoesque.

Ruby, as in Rubenesque.
posted by batmonkey at 8:42 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Miss Jiggles.
posted by Ostara at 8:45 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


That regal look reminds me of someone. How about Vicky?
posted by snorkmaiden at 8:49 PM on September 11, 2013


She probably won't be that fat for ever, so a fat-themed name might sound kinda weird after a while.

I think she looks like a Tabitha or a Harriet.
posted by MelanieL at 8:50 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I agree with the oddness of naming her for her size. It feels like being one of those kids who calls people by their physical characteristics, eg "hey fatty", "hey four-eyes", "hey freckles". Anyway.

Regal, definitely. The first thing I thought of was Boudicca, who was a fairly impressive woman. (Also known as Boadicea but Boudicca is easier to say.)
posted by Athanassiel at 8:53 PM on September 11, 2013


Sweet Sarah

or

Meg

or

Katherine

Nthing not giving her a name that's about how funny her size is. If you want to, you could mentally append "the Great" to any of these names.
posted by amtho at 9:14 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Marmie
Polly
posted by Sassyfras at 9:16 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Hurf durf butter eater.
posted by u2604ab at 9:17 PM on September 11, 2013 [4 favorites]


Aww, she's beautiful. I can't bring myself to name anyone or anything with mocking names.

She is Regina.
posted by jamaro at 9:34 PM on September 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ethel Purrrman
posted by daisystomper at 9:40 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I cast votes for Gattona or Regina.

However, in my opinion, she looks like a cat whose name starts with S or an S-sound. I'm not coming up with the exact right name in that line, but Sarasota, Sesame, and Cicely all come to mind.
posted by jaguar at 9:47 PM on September 11, 2013


Penny Jinxman
posted by SpecialSpaghettiBowl at 9:52 PM on September 11, 2013


Why, Lady Godiva, of course.
posted by azpenguin at 10:01 PM on September 11, 2013


What a beautiful ladycat! I loves me the orange girls.

She looks like a Shirley to me.

I had a cat named Shirley with very similar markings. Shirley Swirly.

Petronella (Peter, Peter Pumpkin-Eater's wife)
Ginger
Molly


Mrs. Butterworth is an adorable name for a ladycat of any size, especially since she sounds as sweet as syrup.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:08 PM on September 11, 2013


She does have a sort of Queen Elizabeth I thing going on, with the red hair and the big white ruff. Queenie? Lizzie? Bessie?
posted by The Underpants Monster at 10:10 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


I was just going to say Good Queen Bess.
posted by classa at 10:17 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


also lbr no one will get the name Fridge Purry unless they are fans of the '85 Bears
posted by elizardbits at 10:25 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


A friend of mine with a loaf-cat has taken to affectionately calling her Fatness Everdeen. I agree with the general consensus towards not giving that pretty girl a full on fat joke name though. Cute kitty.
posted by deludingmyself at 10:35 PM on September 11, 2013 [2 favorites]


Queen Mab...
posted by Sintram at 10:41 PM on September 11, 2013 [3 favorites]


Friends of mine had a cat with lots of extra toes so they named her "Toes".
posted by trip and a half at 11:17 PM on September 11, 2013


We had a cat that looked almost exactly like your beauty when I was a little girl --- down to the look in her eyes and everything! We called her Mellow Yellow, or just "Mellow" for short. Jeez! I never knew the meaning behind that song til I looked it up just now and I can't stop laughing because I realized my mom was the one who actually named our cat! The sly minx! She always had a wicked sense of humor.
posted by LuckySeven~ at 11:25 PM on September 11, 2013 [1 favorite]


Carmella. Carm for short. Inspired by Mrs Soprano.
posted by missmobtown at 11:40 PM on September 11, 2013


Is it just me, or does her front look like she has just tucked a napkin down her front?

My vote is Dowager Napkin. Dowie for short.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:28 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Linda
posted by lois1950 at 12:52 AM on September 12, 2013


Mama Cass!
posted by dottiechang at 1:12 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Aubergine. She is approximately shaped like a giant eggplant.
posted by Mizu at 1:14 AM on September 12, 2013


I think "gattona" just means "big ol female cat" not fat in particular. I also think it would be a great name for her.
posted by feets at 1:39 AM on September 12, 2013


How about Brünnhilde? She has a forthrightness about her that seems to suit it, it's not a joke, and it won't become completely inappropriate if she loses the weight. Also, Brünnhilde is awesome. Is she a yowly cat, by any chance?
posted by Acheman at 2:26 AM on September 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


Martha or Edith.
posted by sciencegeek at 2:45 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I believe Charles Barkley's nickname (involuntary) in college was "Bread Truck".

I agree that you should go with a non-mocking name, however. She's your kitty and somebody just dumped her some place and left her there. She's had a rough time. Plus, wherever she was the person probably couldn't take care of her very well. She's well fed, but maybe that's all they could do. Maybe they were sick, and living in a small place. So I'd give her something to reflect the more fortunate and happy life in her future.

I do, however, like to imagine a cat named Bread Truck. Please, someone write a children's book. And don't tell Charles Barkley. He probably tries to forget.

I like Aubergine, Harriet, and Shirley.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 2:50 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Gattona does indeed mean "big female cat." Not fat in particular. 'Gatta' being female cat and, -ona being the augmentative. The diminutive version would be Gattina. If you wanted to call her chubby, it would be 'Gatta Cicciona' (big chubby female cat).

Personally, I don't really like the idea of "Gattona" just because I know what it means and it has no sense of whimsy (to me) because of it.

I personally like the butter reference, but only because she's the color of butterscotch so in that vein, Lady Butterscotch. For short, I would call her Bibi.

She's beautiful. Good on you for adopting her. ♥
posted by Dimes at 3:04 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Something Fudge, like Miss Georgina B. Fudge (funny that the previous entry should mention Butterscotch, btw.)
posted by Namlit at 3:37 AM on September 12, 2013


Magnificat, aka La Magnifique aka Maggie aka Lady Maggie aka Mags, Magster, and Magsterina. Her mass may change but her dignity is independently massive.
posted by gingerest at 4:00 AM on September 12, 2013 [3 favorites]


Not relative to weight, Gertrude Stein. She's seeing my soul.
posted by thinkpiece at 4:08 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


She is beautiful!

Miss Puurl

love Mrs. Butterworth (Butters for short) because she is the color of butter

Lady Cara Mel

Trudy

Pumpkin
posted by MayNicholas at 4:12 AM on September 12, 2013


In Brazilian Portuguese, "Gatona" means "extremely hot sexy lady", in slang (it does mean "large female cat" also, though not necessarily fat). "Gatinha" means "cute, pretty girl" (or the more literal "little female cat"). So I think "Gatona" is really nice!

(It is a three syllable word, out of which the middle one is the strongest, something like gah-TO-na. The TO is like in "Toby".)
posted by neblina_matinal at 4:15 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Dame Edna or just Edna
posted by Cocodrillo at 4:21 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Lucille
posted by Fig at 4:51 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


But 26 toes is extraordinary! Her name is Mary, short for Marathon.

I was gonna go for Allie, short for Alphabet.
posted by Now there are two. There are two _______. at 5:29 AM on September 12, 2013


Puddin'.
That's not necessarily a dig at her size, as it is more a term of endearment.
I think Dutchess is great too!
posted by gohabsgo at 6:10 AM on September 12, 2013


Sophie. I just like the name and she's so pretty and lovable she should have a lovely name.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:47 AM on September 12, 2013


Some kind of 50's-grandma-old-lady name, like Bertha or Harriet or Loretta.

The only other option I had was Queen Latifah, because Queen Latifah may be a bit bigger than average, but she owns it.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:00 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


I like Butter also, because of her color and because it's cute! I would end up calling her Butter Baby.

The name I thought when I saw her is Wanda.
posted by MexicanYenta at 7:08 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Slim.
posted by fivesavagepalms at 8:11 AM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Aw I like the suggestions "Pumpkin" (or Punkin?) and "Puddin'."

'Cause that cat got two hundred....and forty dollas....worth of puddin.
posted by like_a_friend at 8:26 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Puddin'.
That's not necessarily a dig at her size, as it is more a term of endearment.


Oh, yeah. If she were my kitty, a sweet softie like that would have a regular name, but would also be constantly showered with terms of endearment like Puddin', Muffin, Punkin, Honeybun, Meatloaf, Orangina, Caramella, Peanut, Lady Marmalade, Scooter Pie, Shortcake, Sweet Tater, Cheesepuff, etc.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:03 AM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


I agree with Sassyfras, she's clearly Polly.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:29 AM on September 12, 2013


Miss Cardy.
posted by The corpse in the library at 9:31 AM on September 12, 2013


I loved the Duchess suggestion immediately! She's gorgeous! Lucky you.
posted by feste at 9:36 AM on September 12, 2013


I love the idea of Ruby / short for Rubenesque!
posted by insectosaurus at 12:11 PM on September 12, 2013


I like Victoria. She definitely has that "we are not amused" air about her.
posted by tully_monster at 12:37 PM on September 12, 2013


On further consideration, you could also call her Queen Mary...after the ship, not the royal personage...
posted by tully_monster at 12:38 PM on September 12, 2013


Mrs. B, of course.

The diminutive of Buttersworth.
posted by BlueHorse at 1:21 PM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


She is so regal! I'd call her Cleopatra (Cleo for short).
posted by jabes at 3:44 PM on September 12, 2013


Ursula for sure.
posted by elisebeth at 5:54 PM on September 12, 2013 [1 favorite]


Thank you all. We are going to go with Mrs. Butterworth--with variants, according to mood: Butter, Butter Bean, Butterball, Butter Buddha, Buddha Belly, Peanut Butter, Butter Up, Butter Butter Butter, Butterscotch, etc., etc. And should we ever get another large orange kitty, he or she might be "I can't believe it's not Butter". Interestingly, several of you mentioned Bertha, and the Humane Society had named her Big Bertha.
posted by QuakerMel at 8:22 PM on September 12, 2013 [5 favorites]


We may need a follow-up picture of her with a little yellow cap on like the Mrs. Butterworth bottle.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 9:41 PM on September 12, 2013 [2 favorites]


Cozy.
posted by Rykey at 1:19 PM on September 13, 2013


We took her to the vet yesterday for a look-over, and we were all surprised to find out Mrs. Butterworth is a Mr.

We've gone with Butterball for his name, and all the nicknames we considered will still work. He's pretty happy now that we call him 'he'. He was pretty sure we were idiots before.
posted by QuakerMel at 7:46 AM on September 14, 2013 [4 favorites]


Mr Butterworth!
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:50 AM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


How funny!

An old farmer once told me when sexing kittens that the way to tell is to look for the space between the bung hole and the weewee.

*hitches pants, spits, nods sagely*
"Yep, a space between the bung hole and the weewee."

This advice has stood me in good stead all my life.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:12 PM on September 14, 2013 [2 favorites]


People used to ask me if I had a boy kitty or a girl kitty.

I'd always answer, "I respect its privacy too much to look, but you're welcome to."

They would say, "But you have to know!" I was always, "It's a cat. Why should I care?"

You would be amazed at how people can't let this go. Like their personal gender identity is at stake.

"Well, does it lift a leg to pee or does it squat?"

"Why would I watch a cat go to the bathroom?"

"You seriously don't know?"

"I seriously don't care to know."

On and on. It drove people nuts!
posted by cjorgensen at 12:32 PM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


Steve the cat's name had firmly stuck before I got a good enough look at her relevant anatomy.
posted by The Underpants Monster at 12:53 PM on September 16, 2013 [1 favorite]


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