What are my cats trying to tell me?

September 9, 2013 3:43 PM

I know one of you speaks Cat. I can get along in Cat but I can't claim fluency. What are they saying in response to my coughs? Their affect kind of makes me think that they feel like they *should* respond but they're not really invested in the response, kind of like saying "bread and butter" when you and your walking partner pass on either side of an obstruction, not because you're really superstitious but because it's de rigeur.

Cosgrove and Little Kiwi are pretty chatty, and I normally can get what they're saying from context.

But they reliably grunt something, or rather, mutter something under their breath, when I cough. Not sneeze, but cough. Sneeze results in them running away. Is this some kind of kitty "salud"?

Also, I read an article a few years ago distinguishing "me" from "ow" in the "meow", and describing the effect of the slow blink, but I've forgotten all of it now. Can anyone direct me to a cat language primer?

posted by janey47 to Pets & Animals (14 answers total)

Maybe they think you're about to yak, and it's an expression of sympathy? Cats make a kind of coughing sound the precedes yakking. (Unless you are our cat Roswell, who is a silent yakker.) if it makes you feel any better, I'm pretty sure our cats think we have brain damage because our Cat comprehension is so poor.
posted by rtha at 3:46 PM on September 9, 2013 [1 favorite]

Best answer: It's probably something like "Roger that." As in "You're making a little sound to say that you're there. Understood." I think most cat sounds mean either "feed me" or "I'm here, where are you?"
posted by bleep at 3:50 PM on September 9, 2013 [13 favorites]

If you play the cough sound backwards, do they make the same noise? If so, they are acknowledging that Paul is dead. If not, they are likely thinking, "I hate that noise. Every time sweet Jane makes that sound, she gets up and leaves the room to get a drink, but never is a good enough wingman to bring one back for us."

The slow blink means they trust and like you.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 4:04 PM on September 9, 2013 [13 favorites]

Do you mew back and forth at them? My cat and I have a lot of acknowledgment noises as described by bleep. (Which sometimes get totally out of hand in terms of loudness and number of times we have to mew at each other before Dr. Cat will chill out.)

The sneeze is just scary.
posted by Frowner at 4:08 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]

Funny, my cat comes running in to whatever room I am in when I sneeze and meows as if worried. No response when I cough.
posted by gregjunior at 4:24 PM on September 9, 2013

One of my cats will meow, quietly, when I cough. The other gets a panicked look in her face and will flee the room.

I think it's because cats are weird.
posted by It's Never Lurgi at 4:44 PM on September 9, 2013 [4 favorites]

Try messybeast's cat communication articles. They're probably just saying "that sucks" or "the invasion may begin whenever you are ready". It's 50/50.
posted by jwells at 5:36 PM on September 9, 2013 [7 favorites]

I have a cat who really struggled with a nasal infection he got from the animal shelter where we got him. He always comes running into the room when we sneeze and he gives a little meow. He ignores coughs. I have always believed it's because he's "been there."
posted by cda at 5:45 PM on September 9, 2013 [2 favorites]

My cat makes a little guttural grunt whenever I startle her slightly-but-not-that-much. (Chief offenses: petting her when she is otherwise focused, waking her up for any reason.) It sounds almost like a pigeon? I assume it's a sort of acknowledgment grunt mixed with "why you gotta be so big and dumb and loud?"
posted by like_a_friend at 5:53 PM on September 9, 2013 [3 favorites]

My conclusion: it's an abbreviated chirrup of reassurance to keep all nearby companions from losing their shit at being startled. The 'chirrup' is that quick trill cats use to address their friends, feline and otherwise. (A longer version of the trill is used by a mother cat to call her kittens.) Why is it necessary? Because cats are generally high strung, well armed, and weird. I've heard of felines, even littermates who'd lived together harmoniously for years, attacking each other in a sudden, bloody frenzy after being frightened by a loud noise. Like the adrenaline rush that should have been routed to the 'flight' response got channeled into 'fight' by mistake.

It makes sense, then, for a cat to utter that little 'mrrrp' when, say, jumping from a height that causes them to land with an audible thump near a sleeping companion. (My calico had the same habit as like_a_friend's cat when she was unexpectedly touched, too.) I found that imitating the 'mrrrp' after startling a cat kept the ensuing freak-out factor low, even when said cat was a half-wild stray.

So a cat responding to a loud, sharp noise like a cough (which lacks the 'a-aa-a-' preamble of a sneeze) might just be saying 'Hey, friend! I just startled you/you just startled me/we were both startled, but keep your claws sheathed, okay? Everything's copacetic here.'

Just an idea.
posted by Kibby at 10:29 PM on September 9, 2013 [9 favorites]

they reliably grunt something, or rather, mutter something under their breath

"...look at that human, no body hair, no grooming ethics at all, and she's pretending to cough up a fur ball. Good luck with that. Meh-ow."
posted by Namlit at 12:45 AM on September 10, 2013 [6 favorites]

Best answer: By the way, Cosgrove and Little Kiwi are just adorable.
posted by Kibby at 9:17 PM on September 10, 2013

My youngest cat will offer a long, chirping trill (or trilling chirp?) when anyone sneezes in our household. It's an entire sentence, with rising and falling intonation, phrases, words, syllables, the whole bit. In cat, obviously, but it's still oddly intricate and lengthy.

When I looked it up, some people were theorizing that he thinks it's an aggressive sound (sneezing sounds like a hiss, perhaps) - but I'm not sure why I'd get a detailed response if I hissed at him, as the other cats get a significantly different response should they hiss at him.

Since cats respond to us as they would their parent, it's possible that the cough sounds like a locator call or chuff, and they're simply saying "I'm here, tsch." Acknowledging you without having to give you a real greeting. Feline coughing does not sound like human coughing, so I wouldn't expect them to understand that you're coughing up a harble.
posted by Nyx at 9:42 PM on September 10, 2013 [1 favorite]

My kitties usually react with an "are you ok?" mew in response to coughs. The reason I know it's that, is if we don't answer the mew with an "I'm ok, really" they come over and gently paw at us.
posted by radwolf76 at 9:28 PM on September 14, 2013