Dad being a friend, not a father figure.
September 7, 2013 10:12 AM Subscribe
Am I a bad son for feeling this way?
posted by anonymous to human relations (21 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I think, by all accounts, I have a great father. He is a good person, has always treated his kids well and stayed together (up until last year) with my Mom for years despite their marriage being on the rocks, for the good of his kids.
However, he has recently ran into some financial difficulties. This has necessitated him staying with me and my brother in our small little apartment. Now, there is nothing inherently wrong with that. We are glad to have him until he lands on his feet and is financially able to move out.
My problem with my Dad is that he wants to spend every waking moment that he is not working with his two kids. He wants to join me and my brother in everything that we do, such as playing sports. I guess these could be considered "family-bonding" sessions, but the problem is that he is in his 50s and we are in our mid-20s. My Dad was ever present throughout our childhood and teenage years, and there are no extenuating issues arising from that. I think the issue may be that he is bored. He only has a few select friends and ever since the divorce he has financially struggled.
Am I wrong for feeling this way? I love my Dad, and maybe the issue is with me, as I am financially struggling and dependent on my brother for most of my living expenses. But I don't think its too much to ask for, for your Dad to give you some distance and be less of a friend and more of a father figure. I have many friends, so I don't need that from him.