Need guy advice
September 7, 2013 6:03 AM Subscribe
How to put the moves on a sensible, reserved guy, who may not have any romantic interest in me, and is leaving the country in two weeks?
posted by galenka to human relations (27 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I met the guy, "Paul," about a month an a half ago. He and a friend are here as visiting academics from another country. I hit it off with Paul and his friend right away and we made plans right away to hang out again. Since then I've seen him at least once or twice per week. We've had tons of adventures this summer, always in groups with either his friend or my friends.
The first time I met Paul, and the next few times we hung out after that, it seemed really obvious that he was interested in me. He actually followed me around, always stood really close to me, and always grabbed a seat right next to me.
But after that, something weird happened. Paul "cooled off" a bit (still very friendly but not following me around), and his FRIEND was suddenly in my orbit all the time. His friend was also much more forward, putting his arm around me a few times. I moved away when he did that. I was disappointed and confused because I was not interested in the friend at all.
The friend left and went back to their home country early, so he's gone now. Paul is still here for another two weeks. I saw him a few days ago, and he still seemed like he was just really platonic. We held hands a couple times, as he was helping me across something with shaky footing, but I didn't really pick up on any big interest or flirting.
Paul is also very sensible, practical, and somewhat reserved. I have no idea if he would make a move if he were interested in someone. But maybe I'm just telling myself that he wouldn't make a move because that's what I want to think.
Paul also has a very "old fashioned gentlemanly" way of acting.. not pulling out chairs and things, just being really pleasant, polite, and proper with everyone, not acting like best friends with people he doesn't know, having respectful boundaries with other people, always speaking in a thought out and respectable way, and things like that. He's not a stick in the mud, he jokes and he's fun, but he's also gentlemanly.
I already know that he doesn't want to have a long-distance relationship, since when we first met he told me about a girl who lives only an hour away from him at home, who told him she liked him, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to start a relationship with her because of how far away she was.
I'm infatuated with him. I think I would regret it if I never said anything to him. I don't want to let him go back to his country without kissing him. What should I do? And what should I say?