How badly have I screwed this up? Impotence, steroids and adoption.
September 3, 2013 8:49 AM Subscribe
I've taken steroids and screwed up my erection.
I need my GP to write an assessing of my suitability for adoption. How badly have I screwed things up?
posted by anonymous to human relations (11 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I'm a mid thirties gay guy in a wonderful long term (15 yrs) relationship. I live in London, UK.
I have some self confidence and body issues connected with perceptions of masculinity etc. This, together with my natural instinct to seek a quick fix approach has led me to use steroids to bulk up: I'm nearly at the end of my second cycle of sustanon/deca (injected into my ass twice a week) right now.
The two cycles have done exactly what I need: I'm the size and shape I want to be. My husband doesn't know that I've used steroids and he isn't going to. This isn't a question about steroid use, so please don't talk to me about the morality or sense of doing this. Worth nothing that using steroids is not illegal in the UK, tho selling is.
My first cycle made me super horny and self confident, essentially solving all my issues (second cycle has not had these effects). I loved it! But I had some serious downs post-cycle: a bit of depression, a bit of weepiness, loss of muscle etc.
The biggest problem by far tho was that I was unable to sustain a rock solid erection sufficient for penetration. I've never been the most solid and have been prone to nerves and performance anxiety. But this was in a different league to my usual state. I was unable to fuck without medication (which thankfully works well) and even when doing non-penetrative stuff I would often lose my erection. This leads me to bottom much more than I usually would (which feeds back into my issues about masculinity etc: yes I am getting counselling for this).
I didn't ascribe this to coming off the steroids, partly because there were lots of other potential causes: I was/am under a lot of stress at work and in my family life (we were deciding whether to adopt a child and having building work done on the house) and have a family history of diabetes.
So I went to see my GP and didn't tell him about the steroids. He thought it might be diabetes but was probably stress. He prescribed cialis and took about 10 vials of blood. I didn't know he would be testing for anything that would suggest steroid use.
The test results are back: he said the only concerning thing is my very low LH and FSH levels and sky high testosterone. He asked me if I was taking anything, even inadvertently, I said yes. He has now asked me to come in, bringing all the supplements I take.
At this point I am FREAKING out. I am deeply ashamed of being so vain as to have taken steroids. And I really don't want to have to discuss this with him.
Also, and frankly, far more importantly, this man will have to write a report on my health for our upcoming adoption.
I am terrified that I have fucked things up and that he will have to tell the adoption panel about my steroid use. I am scared that I will have ruined our chance of starting a family because of my stupid stupid issues.
To me, this doesn't seem relevant. I am/we are excellent candidates for adoption in all other respects. Intelligent, fairly well off, well read on the problems that adopted children have etc. Our social workers seem convinced all will be well.
So, the questions.
- If I go to see the GP will he need to write this in his report for the adoption panel?
- If so, is there a way of minimising the damage? Say by not being totally honest with him? Perhaps saying that I was taking pills that I didn't know had steroidal effects?
- Or should I just not go back and hope that my erection problems go away in time?
- If I take the final course of action what do I do when I have to go to him for my adoption health exam?
Thanks in advance for your advice.