How do I learn to make myself happy for me, not others?
September 1, 2013 12:22 PM Subscribe
Keeping myself happy: How do I maintain the mindset that it's for me and not to find a partner?
posted by Autumn to human relations (9 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I struggle with some sort of mental-issue where I'll let myself go for weeks/months on end: not take care of my diet, poor hygiene, not taking meds, staying inside all day, etc.
It's been awhile since this has happened - after getting my heart broken a few months ago I started focusing on myself, doing things I knew would make myself happy. I've been taking care of myself, proper hygiene, diet, exercise, hobbies, being genuinely busy, the usual.
The problem is - in the back of my head part of me hopes that these changes will attract a partner. I don't like this mindset because it means I tend to let myself go until I meet someone, or meet someone and slowly let myself go until we break up and then suddenly I'm back on the wagon.
I want this to be a permanent change for myself. So how do I stop feeling like I'm making myself happy for someone else and think of it more as making myself happy because, you know, it's better than feeling like a slob?
It probably doesn't help that 90% of the change I made came from the suggestions of a book focused on how to get a partner - I originally started for that reason, realized the person I was after was too far gone and kept it up just because. I don't want to stop following the book because now I'm happy and single and don't want to go back.