How to cure longstanding self-loathing?
September 1, 2013 7:47 AM Subscribe
Have you managed to come around from loathing yourself (and I do mean loathing), to being ok with yourself? How did you do it? I hate every aspect of my being, from my looks to my personality, and it’s grinding me down.
posted by anonymous to health & fitness (40 answers total) 49 users marked this as a favorite
I’ve had mental health problems in the past (depression), but I don’t consider myself depressed now. I’ve had meds, CBT, and mindfulness-based therapy. I didn’t find the CBT useful at all, but the others helped a lot with the depression while doing nothing to shift my complete self-loathing one inch. The only thing treatment really managed in that area was stopping me expressing my self-loathing through self-harm (I haven’t self-harmed in about five years, but when I did it was always because I needed to get that hatred towards myself out somehow).
Other background: I’m female, in my 30s, single, professional, in a high-pressure job that I love but I know I’m terrible at. I don’t have any traumatic experiences or anything unhappy lurking from my childhood. I’ve loathed myself for as long as I can remember. I’m ugly, I’m fat, and lots of other things that mean I’m just physically put together wrong. I’m weird and awkward, if I actually relax around people I end up saying something inappropriate – you get the gist. I could go on for hours.
I know that there’s not much that can be done in terms of changing that I’m ugly and weird and so on, but I know I don’t have to hate it. I don’t hate other people for being ugly and weird, just myself.
Just as a note: if anyone does suggest therapy, I’m in the UK, and the NHS basically considers me cured as far as mental health is concerned. I’d have to get private therapy, and I have no idea how to do that, what exactly I’m even looking for or even if it’s available in my area.