Damn you, timing.
August 29, 2013 10:54 AM Subscribe
After a year of therapy, intense self-exploration, and work on myself, I've met a fantastic man. Complication: I'm moving.
posted by sevensnowflakes to human relations (15 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
I've been on a dating hiatus for a year while doing the aforementioned work on myself. I've made many positive changes in my life, and finally feel wonderful about who I am again. It's been a long road back to mental and physical health, but I'm happier than I've been in a very long time.
The upshot is that now I've attracted, for the first time in many years, a truly good person with whom I can see great potential. However, I'm moving across the country in a very short time, and I'm sort of at a loss as to what I should do. I've only been seeing this man for a month.
I've done the long-distance thing once, for five short/long months. At the end of those 5 months, I moved to the city where that person was - but I don't have that kind of flexibility now due to professional obligations that I absolutely cannot walk away from (even if I wanted to do so) without causing unacceptable career-trashing fallout. Not an option. In one year, I'll be moving again for work and we will be much closer together (3 hours away, rather than the 24 that will separate us once I move), but it'll be at least 2 years before he and I will be in the same city again.
Should I just appreciate this fledgling relationship for what it is - a manifestation of good things to come now that I am mentally whole and healed - and let it go when I leave? Should we try long-distance, or is that unworkable given our professional trajectories?
We have danced around this topic, mostly because I think neither of us really knows what our options are here, we've both been kind of blindsided by how good we are together, and talking about it directly is going to be painful and difficult. The conversation is coming, however, and I'm looking for advice/anecdotes that will give me food for thought as I prepare for it.