I am flipping out about moving. How do I not flip out?
August 28, 2013 8:37 PM Subscribe
I am flipping out about moving to Los Angeles. How do I not flip out?
As I write this I am sitting in an apartment filled with boxes and crap everywhere. I am moving from my beautiful state of Ohio to Los Angeles and leaving behind my home, my friends, my community, seasons, green lush trees everywhere (seriously Ohio is incredible in the summer), and the upcoming fall leaves.
Every day I am more and more weary of this move, questioning everything, and am now in full panic mode. I know I need to make this move but I am terrified of Los Angeles, of living in the Valley (which is where I will be), of not having a community of amazing friends who are talented and interesting. I live in such a cool area and I love my home. I feel like I am rejecting everything about L.A. (I don't want mountains! I want fall weather and the smell of burning wood on Halloween! I don't want palm trees! I take back all the times I said I hated scraping ice off my car in the morning and how depressing winter is!).
I'm 23 and I feel such a sense of loss. I feel like I'm losing everything; my home, my childhood, being young, my friends, and who I am. I knew moving would be hard but I didn't think I would be this worried and upset. I've moved before, a much shorter distance, and now when I visit my original, original, hometown, it feels so unfamiliar, like it's moved on without me and forgotten about me (not helped by the fact that it's a college town.) The place where I live now I moved to three years ago and it took me 2 years to feel at home. Now when I move I know I will feel essentially homeless as the two cities that I have lived in, in Ohio, will be distant and unfamiliar. It's just so sad.
Does anyone have any advice to not freak out? Tell me how to feel connected to my two hometowns and how to make Los Angeles my home.
Thank you.
As I write this I am sitting in an apartment filled with boxes and crap everywhere. I am moving from my beautiful state of Ohio to Los Angeles and leaving behind my home, my friends, my community, seasons, green lush trees everywhere (seriously Ohio is incredible in the summer), and the upcoming fall leaves.
Every day I am more and more weary of this move, questioning everything, and am now in full panic mode. I know I need to make this move but I am terrified of Los Angeles, of living in the Valley (which is where I will be), of not having a community of amazing friends who are talented and interesting. I live in such a cool area and I love my home. I feel like I am rejecting everything about L.A. (I don't want mountains! I want fall weather and the smell of burning wood on Halloween! I don't want palm trees! I take back all the times I said I hated scraping ice off my car in the morning and how depressing winter is!).
I'm 23 and I feel such a sense of loss. I feel like I'm losing everything; my home, my childhood, being young, my friends, and who I am. I knew moving would be hard but I didn't think I would be this worried and upset. I've moved before, a much shorter distance, and now when I visit my original, original, hometown, it feels so unfamiliar, like it's moved on without me and forgotten about me (not helped by the fact that it's a college town.) The place where I live now I moved to three years ago and it took me 2 years to feel at home. Now when I move I know I will feel essentially homeless as the two cities that I have lived in, in Ohio, will be distant and unfamiliar. It's just so sad.
Does anyone have any advice to not freak out? Tell me how to feel connected to my two hometowns and how to make Los Angeles my home.
Thank you.
I'm sorry you are going through this. It is natural to feel this sense of loss. It might help us to help you if you could tell us what you are moving to - the area (while minding privacy/safety), work/school, a partner, etc and what interests you. Others will likely have more supportive things to say, but some practical details might help us in pointing you to what you are going *to*, not what you are leaving. Also, you can always go home - you're not losing it, just putting it on hold.
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 8:45 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by Chaussette and the Pussy Cats at 8:45 PM on August 28, 2013
Man, I felt all these things just a few weeks ago before my big post-college move.
And I still feel many of them. It's not as bad now that I'm here and have made friends with some cool people at work, but I definitely don't feel like I'm "home".
I figure I probably won't for a few years, and that's ok. I also left a beautiful woman I've loved for years, and roommates that are better than any I could reasonably ask for. It's easily the hardest thing I've done in my life.
I'm faking it til I make it, taking it one day at a time. I call my friends/parents on the phone, but not too much. I go out to a Starbucks to do my reading instead of staying at home alone. I leave my TV on SportsCenter when I start to feel alone (I love sports--the news or sitcom episodes on Netflix would work just as well).
Just know that what you're going through is totally normal, and it would be kind of weird if you didn't freak out.
But it's also going to be ok.
posted by Precision at 8:45 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
And I still feel many of them. It's not as bad now that I'm here and have made friends with some cool people at work, but I definitely don't feel like I'm "home".
I figure I probably won't for a few years, and that's ok. I also left a beautiful woman I've loved for years, and roommates that are better than any I could reasonably ask for. It's easily the hardest thing I've done in my life.
I'm faking it til I make it, taking it one day at a time. I call my friends/parents on the phone, but not too much. I go out to a Starbucks to do my reading instead of staying at home alone. I leave my TV on SportsCenter when I start to feel alone (I love sports--the news or sitcom episodes on Netflix would work just as well).
Just know that what you're going through is totally normal, and it would be kind of weird if you didn't freak out.
But it's also going to be ok.
posted by Precision at 8:45 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Moving is hard. I've moved almost more times than I can count and I have lived in three different countries. It's always hard. There is dislocation, there is loneliness and there is some loss. There is hard work and there uncertainty.
But if I hadn't moved my life would have been so much less than it is. I met my wife because I moved. Almost all my best friends are because I moved. All my favourite foods are because I moved.
Some people wait for opportunity to knock. Others get up and go out the door and find opportunity. You're part way there... now follow through.
posted by srboisvert at 8:47 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
But if I hadn't moved my life would have been so much less than it is. I met my wife because I moved. Almost all my best friends are because I moved. All my favourite foods are because I moved.
Some people wait for opportunity to knock. Others get up and go out the door and find opportunity. You're part way there... now follow through.
posted by srboisvert at 8:47 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
You'll fall in love again, I think. It's happened to me with every city I've moved to, though I'm still fond of all the past homes, too. Spend as much time as you can outside, walking around the streets (go wander around the neighborhoods in Silverlake or Los Feliz, or Venice), and go to the amazing parks- Griffith Park, or places to hike like Temescal. Go to one of the private-looking beaches in Malibu. Delight in the gorgeous, non-humid weather. Drive out of town and pick apples in the fall. You'll be okay.
posted by three_red_balloons at 8:48 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by three_red_balloons at 8:48 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: @Chausette, it is for professional reasons for both myself and my partner. This move is not easily undone, unfortunately, even if I end up hating it. We will have to be there for five years. As to my interests, I am heavily involved in the local music scene. All of my friends are musicians in some type of band or another. My friends tend to have beards, carry Vonnegut in their back pockets, talk about music, see shows in music venues or basements, eat local food, etc.
posted by DeltaForce at 8:51 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by DeltaForce at 8:51 PM on August 28, 2013
When I moved to L.A. at about your age, I went through the same dread and doubt. I was leaving a cozy, beautiful college town, where I had a nice job and nice friends. I was terrified. I cried my eyes out the whole drive here. I thought I'd do my time here (get my degree) and then GTFO ASAP.
Many years later, today, I was out walking, and thinking how glad I was that I pushed through those fears. I absolutely love it here -- even the difficult and aggravating parts of the place. I miss it when I'm away traveling.
Give yourself a chance to see what L.A. holds for you. It might suck for a while, and then get better.
No matter what, it'll be an adventure, and you won't be bored. Give it a whirl. You're young; you're resilient; you'll bounce, not break.
And come January, when you're walking on the beach in your surf trunks and t-shirt...well, you'll see.
posted by nacho fries at 8:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
Many years later, today, I was out walking, and thinking how glad I was that I pushed through those fears. I absolutely love it here -- even the difficult and aggravating parts of the place. I miss it when I'm away traveling.
Give yourself a chance to see what L.A. holds for you. It might suck for a while, and then get better.
No matter what, it'll be an adventure, and you won't be bored. Give it a whirl. You're young; you're resilient; you'll bounce, not break.
And come January, when you're walking on the beach in your surf trunks and t-shirt...well, you'll see.
posted by nacho fries at 8:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]
LA is great! We DO have seasons here, promise. They're just more subtle. We have great food, TONS of ethnic food, great weather, loads to do. Lots of sports, lots of hiking, and the beach. We have the Hollywood Bowl, the Rose Bowl, the Rose Parade, movies filming everyday downtown, amazing flea markets and great bars. You can drive to Santa Barbara, go wine tasting in Malibu, or spend the weekend in Palm Springs. We've got Coachella and the LA Phil and the Greek and the El Rey -- since you like music --and the Wiltern and about 10,000 tiny music venues, all of which are full of music lovers like yourself. LA is GREAT.
And reading your update...dude. You're going to be fine. Just hang out in Los Feliz/Silver Lake/Echo Park and you'll be fine. There are SO MANY MUSICIANS HERE and they're all eating from food trucks and combing their beards and reading Vonnegut and then seeing a secret show at the Echo. Seriously. I cannot even tell you how many LA residents you just described. (Some of whom I have dated. There are A LOT of Your People here. I promise. Most of them are really nice.)
It's totally okay and normal to have cold feet about moving, but you're going to love it here. Moving is hard, but you're young. Now's the time to try something new. And even those of us who don't live so far from where we grew up eventually feel like we've changed, that it's changed, and that we're not young anymore. That's part of growing up no matter where you end up.
But I think you're going to love it here. (Plus, parts of the Valley are great and you are really not that far from Echo Park/Los Feliz/Atwater/Silver Lake. Even just the drive over the hill is good; take the canyons, not the freeway. Gorgeous.)
posted by Countess Sandwich at 9:01 PM on August 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
And reading your update...dude. You're going to be fine. Just hang out in Los Feliz/Silver Lake/Echo Park and you'll be fine. There are SO MANY MUSICIANS HERE and they're all eating from food trucks and combing their beards and reading Vonnegut and then seeing a secret show at the Echo. Seriously. I cannot even tell you how many LA residents you just described. (Some of whom I have dated. There are A LOT of Your People here. I promise. Most of them are really nice.)
It's totally okay and normal to have cold feet about moving, but you're going to love it here. Moving is hard, but you're young. Now's the time to try something new. And even those of us who don't live so far from where we grew up eventually feel like we've changed, that it's changed, and that we're not young anymore. That's part of growing up no matter where you end up.
But I think you're going to love it here. (Plus, parts of the Valley are great and you are really not that far from Echo Park/Los Feliz/Atwater/Silver Lake. Even just the drive over the hill is good; take the canyons, not the freeway. Gorgeous.)
posted by Countess Sandwich at 9:01 PM on August 28, 2013 [10 favorites]
This is part of it. When I moved away from my hometown I stressed myself into a case of full body hives. I'm sorry that there's no skipping the anxiety of a big change. You can do this. Don't let fear cripple you. Even if LA turns out to be a bad choice, it's your choice.
Go to LA. Explore your neighborhood. Pick a coffee shop and go there every day. And one day LA will be home to you.
posted by 26.2 at 9:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Go to LA. Explore your neighborhood. Pick a coffee shop and go there every day. And one day LA will be home to you.
posted by 26.2 at 9:14 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
What Countess Elena said....and we even light fires in our hearths when it's cool (if we have them)!
posted by brujita at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2013
posted by brujita at 9:42 PM on August 28, 2013
Feeling this way before a big move is totally normal! I moved to LA from the other side of the world, and was completely freaking out beforehand. I went through with it, because you just have to try stuff, experience new places and things, and make the most of your life. Having seen your update post, LA is just filled with bearded local food eaters, and musicians. You will fit in just fine. As well as the silverlake/echo park area, check out Venice too.
LA can seem ugly and sprawling and unfriendly to outsiders, but it has all sorts of wonderful hidden delights. There are cute little communities all over the place. I live in the valley, and I feel like I am part of a friendly little community. I know all my neighbors on my street. All the staff at my regular grocery store know me. You can feel that way too, it just takes a little time. Explore the city and find the places you enjoy. Go back to your favorite places regularly (but don't stop exploring!) and be a friendly person who smiles and makes eye contact. People will remember you, and soon you will find you feel at home.
posted by Joh at 9:49 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
LA can seem ugly and sprawling and unfriendly to outsiders, but it has all sorts of wonderful hidden delights. There are cute little communities all over the place. I live in the valley, and I feel like I am part of a friendly little community. I know all my neighbors on my street. All the staff at my regular grocery store know me. You can feel that way too, it just takes a little time. Explore the city and find the places you enjoy. Go back to your favorite places regularly (but don't stop exploring!) and be a friendly person who smiles and makes eye contact. People will remember you, and soon you will find you feel at home.
posted by Joh at 9:49 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Had a similar flip out when I moved from Boston to CA. A friend told me: "Look, you're probably going to feel a lot of emotions very inten sely, and some of them might be new & you won't know what to do with them. But remember: you're built to feel, and handle, new things. And what would be the point of moving cross country if you weren't going to feel or experience anything new, and face new challenges?"
posted by armoir from antproof case at 10:06 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by armoir from antproof case at 10:06 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
My friends tend to have beards, carry Vonnegut in their back pockets, talk about music, see shows in music venues or basements, eat local food, etc.
This describes every hipster in Los Feliz, Silver Lake, NoHo, and SoHo. I guarantee you will find more of what you like in LA. Open yourself to the possibilities. You are not cheating on your old life by embracing the new frontiers you are about to embark to.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 10:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
This describes every hipster in Los Feliz, Silver Lake, NoHo, and SoHo. I guarantee you will find more of what you like in LA. Open yourself to the possibilities. You are not cheating on your old life by embracing the new frontiers you are about to embark to.
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 10:29 PM on August 28, 2013 [5 favorites]
Just accept that LA will kick your ass for a couple years, but after that, you might really love it here.
I moved to LA at age 21. I moved alone, I didn't know anyone here, and I lived in a shitbox in Koreatown with crazy people.
You'll be fine, but it will probably take a while.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 10:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
I moved to LA at age 21. I moved alone, I didn't know anyone here, and I lived in a shitbox in Koreatown with crazy people.
You'll be fine, but it will probably take a while.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 10:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
Native small-town Ohioan here. I moved to LA from the Midwest, too, for professional reasons, and was miserable at first. Part of what made it difficult for me was actually the kind of boosterism that appears in some of the posts above, often coming from people with absolutely no experience living in the Midwest, or even visiting it outside of the occasional jaunt through Chicago. Even though I recognized that it came from a kind, welcoming place, it just seemed to make me feel worse about what I'd left behind. (Consoling someone who's missing that autumn crispness that screams "apples!" and "high school football!" by saying "Look, here's a season!" when it's still 70 degrees out... just... wasn't helpful.) I definitely remember the "Boo, mountains! Boo, palm trees!" train of thought that you've described.
Looking back, this is what seemed to help me like it here:
- Learning as much as I could about the parts of LA's history and institutions that interested me. There are lots of great suggestions in this thread. It was much easier for me to get excited about going out and seeing specific neighborhoods and landmarks with a bit of backstory, and the kinds of "warts and all" details in a lot of the history books made me feel less like a curmudgeon for finding certain aspects of LA weird. It honestly helped me a lot (maybe more than anything else) to get to know LA as a place with its own past and idiosyncracies, and not this dreamscape that I was supposed to out-and-out love.
- Finding a neighborhood that I loved. To that end, Joh's advice is great - explore as many different communities as you can, and find the ones that you really like. I was miserable primarily because I moved, sight unseen, somewhere super-close to work that could not have been a worse fit for me. Having just done the cross-country thing, I dreaded moving again. But, moving to a different part of town as soon as I could do so changed my outlook almost overnight.
It is totally normal to be stressed out and panicky about moving, all the more so if this is a cross-country move. I wish I knew a quick fix (besides just getting through it). Don't feel bad if it takes a little while for you to really embrace LA once you get here.
posted by Austenite at 11:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Looking back, this is what seemed to help me like it here:
- Learning as much as I could about the parts of LA's history and institutions that interested me. There are lots of great suggestions in this thread. It was much easier for me to get excited about going out and seeing specific neighborhoods and landmarks with a bit of backstory, and the kinds of "warts and all" details in a lot of the history books made me feel less like a curmudgeon for finding certain aspects of LA weird. It honestly helped me a lot (maybe more than anything else) to get to know LA as a place with its own past and idiosyncracies, and not this dreamscape that I was supposed to out-and-out love.
- Finding a neighborhood that I loved. To that end, Joh's advice is great - explore as many different communities as you can, and find the ones that you really like. I was miserable primarily because I moved, sight unseen, somewhere super-close to work that could not have been a worse fit for me. Having just done the cross-country thing, I dreaded moving again. But, moving to a different part of town as soon as I could do so changed my outlook almost overnight.
It is totally normal to be stressed out and panicky about moving, all the more so if this is a cross-country move. I wish I knew a quick fix (besides just getting through it). Don't feel bad if it takes a little while for you to really embrace LA once you get here.
posted by Austenite at 11:24 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
I thought I'd miss the seasons too when I moved to San Francisco.
I will never live in a place with a real winter again if I can help it.
posted by MillMan at 11:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
I will never live in a place with a real winter again if I can help it.
posted by MillMan at 11:53 PM on August 28, 2013 [3 favorites]
Just hang out in Los Feliz/Silver Lake/Echo Park and you'll be fine.
this. you just need to find your place in LA and then it will start to feel comfortable. you're going to be fine. we're not that big and bad. promise.
posted by wildflower at 11:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
this. you just need to find your place in LA and then it will start to feel comfortable. you're going to be fine. we're not that big and bad. promise.
posted by wildflower at 11:55 PM on August 28, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is totally normal and a rite of passage. Everyone does the Big Move at least once in their lives (unless you never leave home at all). You will be a bigger, stronger, better person for having moved. It's not just going to be okay. It's going to be great.
posted by carolinaherrera at 12:39 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by carolinaherrera at 12:39 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Moving is a really big thing. Honestly, I'm not sure it's possible to not flip out right before a move even if you are 100% sure you are doing the right thing. So you should know that you're in good company. Here are some things that help, I think:
Before you leave, go around and take pictures of all of your ordinary haunts that were too normal to bother taking pictures of before. You'll like having those pictures some day.
On your last day in your present apartment, have some kind of saying goodbye ceremony. Mostly for me this just involves standing alone in my totally empty living room, watching the light fall through the windows one last time, and waiting for the goodbye to come.
When you get to your new city, remember this: all of your old friends were once strangers and acquaintances too, so don't discount new people or new friendships because they are not yet very deep.
When I am feeling stubborn about something ('I don't like palm trees and you can't make me!'), I can't use logic or brute force to convince myself otherwise. I'll just dig in my heels deeper. What works better is to go sort of sideways: go looking for ways to do the everyday things you loved in your old city in your new city. For me, that's finding a good swimming pool, a library, a symphony, and figuring out the public transportation system.
If you've never lived in a city that is as large as L.A. here are two things to keep in mind: you will spend a lot of time getting lost at first. This is totally normal. My strategy for dealing with this is to figure out a couple of main routes that get me to and from the important places and then stay on those until I get the hang of the city. Once it's all a little more familiar, I start using those routes to branch off and get to other places. Secondly, a really large city is made up of a bunch of smaller communities, and one of the cool things about living in a big city is that you can belong to a bunch of really different smaller communities. So don't just limit yourself to looking for people exactly like the ones you left behind. Try out some new things too, and see what you discover!
posted by colfax at 1:37 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Before you leave, go around and take pictures of all of your ordinary haunts that were too normal to bother taking pictures of before. You'll like having those pictures some day.
On your last day in your present apartment, have some kind of saying goodbye ceremony. Mostly for me this just involves standing alone in my totally empty living room, watching the light fall through the windows one last time, and waiting for the goodbye to come.
When you get to your new city, remember this: all of your old friends were once strangers and acquaintances too, so don't discount new people or new friendships because they are not yet very deep.
When I am feeling stubborn about something ('I don't like palm trees and you can't make me!'), I can't use logic or brute force to convince myself otherwise. I'll just dig in my heels deeper. What works better is to go sort of sideways: go looking for ways to do the everyday things you loved in your old city in your new city. For me, that's finding a good swimming pool, a library, a symphony, and figuring out the public transportation system.
If you've never lived in a city that is as large as L.A. here are two things to keep in mind: you will spend a lot of time getting lost at first. This is totally normal. My strategy for dealing with this is to figure out a couple of main routes that get me to and from the important places and then stay on those until I get the hang of the city. Once it's all a little more familiar, I start using those routes to branch off and get to other places. Secondly, a really large city is made up of a bunch of smaller communities, and one of the cool things about living in a big city is that you can belong to a bunch of really different smaller communities. So don't just limit yourself to looking for people exactly like the ones you left behind. Try out some new things too, and see what you discover!
posted by colfax at 1:37 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Where will you be living in the Valley?
That's everything. The difference between awesome lifestyle vs. total despair.
posted by jbenben at 1:42 AM on August 29, 2013 [5 favorites]
That's everything. The difference between awesome lifestyle vs. total despair.
posted by jbenben at 1:42 AM on August 29, 2013 [5 favorites]
I moved to LA when I was 23, and when we were out there looking for apartments I cried in the mall because I was so scared and overwhelmed and confused. But we went, and stayed five years, and it is time I wouldn't trade for anything. I made lifelong friendships and experienced crazy, awesome new things on a regular basis. I became a fearless, confident driver. I learned how to take the subway to my job in a huge downtown skyscraper. I ate Mexican food at a table six inches from Brad Pitt & Jennifer Aniston. I went swimming on Thanksgiving.
Change is scary, and Los Angeles has a reputation as being a weird, intimidating place - and yeah, it's surreal to go Christmas shopping when it's 90 degrees outside. But there are great people there and a lot of interesting opportunities. You don't have to stay forever, but you'll find a place for yourself there. You will.
posted by something something at 5:18 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
Change is scary, and Los Angeles has a reputation as being a weird, intimidating place - and yeah, it's surreal to go Christmas shopping when it's 90 degrees outside. But there are great people there and a lot of interesting opportunities. You don't have to stay forever, but you'll find a place for yourself there. You will.
posted by something something at 5:18 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
All of my friends are musicians in some type of band or another. My friends tend to have beards, carry Vonnegut in their back pockets, talk about music, see shows in music venues or basements, eat local food, etc.
Hah! Hipsters. They have PLENTY of those in LA/the Valley. My cousin, who is about 10 years too old for that shit and yet, is the template for the tragically hip, is happy as a clam living in Glendale.
Go to some of the hipster venues and the goings on. Go to Movies at Hollywood Forever Cemetary. Here's a schedule.
Pick a band you like and follow them around for a bit. In other words, do the stuff that puts you in touch with "your people."
California is a weird and wonderful place. I've had some really crazy stuff happen to me in LA, but hey! That's why it's so cool.
Also, if you want to see some serious celebrities, go to the Rexall/Longs/CVS at 3rd and Beverly in the Hollywood Connection (formerly Dart Plaza). First of all, it's the best drug store on the planet, secondly, this is where everyone in Hollywood comes to buy aspirin and tampons. I met Seth Green outside of it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:43 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Hah! Hipsters. They have PLENTY of those in LA/the Valley. My cousin, who is about 10 years too old for that shit and yet, is the template for the tragically hip, is happy as a clam living in Glendale.
Go to some of the hipster venues and the goings on. Go to Movies at Hollywood Forever Cemetary. Here's a schedule.
Pick a band you like and follow them around for a bit. In other words, do the stuff that puts you in touch with "your people."
California is a weird and wonderful place. I've had some really crazy stuff happen to me in LA, but hey! That's why it's so cool.
Also, if you want to see some serious celebrities, go to the Rexall/Longs/CVS at 3rd and Beverly in the Hollywood Connection (formerly Dart Plaza). First of all, it's the best drug store on the planet, secondly, this is where everyone in Hollywood comes to buy aspirin and tampons. I met Seth Green outside of it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:43 AM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
I live in the Valley (for the record, I was actually born and raised in the Valley). I have a small urban farm. I raise chickens. I eat local, I founded the San Fernando Valley Food Swap, there is a beard and mustache club that's associated with our beekeepers club (must be the wax??).
You are more than welcome to bring your partner and come visit our little farm. While L.A. is a sprawling metropolis, there are plenty of places that feel like small metropoli (?) and easy college towns.
You'll find your way here.
If you're feeling like meeting a MeFite, MeMail me. I'm pretty nice for a 42 year old.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:03 AM on August 29, 2013 [4 favorites]
You are more than welcome to bring your partner and come visit our little farm. While L.A. is a sprawling metropolis, there are plenty of places that feel like small metropoli (?) and easy college towns.
You'll find your way here.
If you're feeling like meeting a MeFite, MeMail me. I'm pretty nice for a 42 year old.
posted by Sophie1 at 8:03 AM on August 29, 2013 [4 favorites]
Yeah, L.A. has your back, D-Force. When you get here, if things start going sideways, post up more Asks and we'll help you figure out solutions. Use the brain trust to ease the transition.
reddit's Los Angeles subreddit can also give good neighborhood-specific intel.
And to counterbalance my earlier response's boosterism: September can be a rather apocalyptic month in L.A., so just be mentally prepared. Heat, hot winds, fire, back-to-school traffic...ai yai yai, it can get to you. But don't let it grind you down. It'll pass. It's just friggin' September weirdness. Then October hits, and we get into L.A.'s best season (fall-to-winter).
posted by nacho fries at 9:06 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
reddit's Los Angeles subreddit can also give good neighborhood-specific intel.
And to counterbalance my earlier response's boosterism: September can be a rather apocalyptic month in L.A., so just be mentally prepared. Heat, hot winds, fire, back-to-school traffic...ai yai yai, it can get to you. But don't let it grind you down. It'll pass. It's just friggin' September weirdness. Then October hits, and we get into L.A.'s best season (fall-to-winter).
posted by nacho fries at 9:06 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
Oh hey I moved from Ohio to LA, I was scared, I was afraid I would miss my parents and the changing leaves - and you know what? I still miss my parents sometimes and love a good thunderstorm in October when I can cozy up with a Pumpkin Spice Latte and pretend that I'm looking out the window at skeletal trees instead of palm trees. But probably, say, 98% of the time I love it here. I found my niche (I lived in West Hollywood, just bought a house in Hollywood) and found my "spots" to go to, and I don't regret it for even a second.
First order of business - learn to accept that the DRIVING here mostly sucks and that you'll need to drive places to go to shows, you probably had to drive places back in Ohio, so this isn't a dealbreaker. Get familiar with the app "bandsintown" and it'll tell you as soon as bands you've got loaded on your iPhone/iTunes are coming to town and give you ground-floor access to buying tickets. Also go to random shows at The Satellite. That place is awesome.
Second order of business - make friends other than your SO. Don't rely on them to be your only source of friendship, thus dragging them into your pit of misery.
Third order of business - unpack as quickly as humanly possible to make your new place "home" rather than hovel-with-boxes.
(And fourth, let me know if you need a PT job, I'm always hiring day-player PAs)
posted by banannafish at 10:01 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
First order of business - learn to accept that the DRIVING here mostly sucks and that you'll need to drive places to go to shows, you probably had to drive places back in Ohio, so this isn't a dealbreaker. Get familiar with the app "bandsintown" and it'll tell you as soon as bands you've got loaded on your iPhone/iTunes are coming to town and give you ground-floor access to buying tickets. Also go to random shows at The Satellite. That place is awesome.
Second order of business - make friends other than your SO. Don't rely on them to be your only source of friendship, thus dragging them into your pit of misery.
Third order of business - unpack as quickly as humanly possible to make your new place "home" rather than hovel-with-boxes.
(And fourth, let me know if you need a PT job, I'm always hiring day-player PAs)
posted by banannafish at 10:01 AM on August 29, 2013 [2 favorites]
I made a similar move from DC to San Francisco. I'll share with you the advice my friend gave me: if it doesn't work out you can always move back. She had moved to SF., it didn't work out, and she moved back. No harm, no foul. I liked it and stayed. See? Either way, it's okay. Also, you are right about the trees(I grew up there). I still miss them seven years on.
posted by bananafish at 11:42 AM on August 29, 2013
posted by bananafish at 11:42 AM on August 29, 2013
"I know I need to make this move but I am terrified of Los Angeles, of living in the Valley (which is where I will be)"
OH NO THE VALLEY
Look, simple hints to make your life better: Live near your job, live near a train line, go out of your way to meet people because LA (especially burby LA) can be rough on that, but you'll make it through. We've got good beer, great weather and lots of arts/culture.
One more tip: When you get here, call a meetup. LA Mefites are pretty cool (though plenty of the folks here haven't ever been to a meetup, jus' sayin' folks).
posted by klangklangston at 1:34 PM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
OH NO THE VALLEY
Look, simple hints to make your life better: Live near your job, live near a train line, go out of your way to meet people because LA (especially burby LA) can be rough on that, but you'll make it through. We've got good beer, great weather and lots of arts/culture.
One more tip: When you get here, call a meetup. LA Mefites are pretty cool (though plenty of the folks here haven't ever been to a meetup, jus' sayin' folks).
posted by klangklangston at 1:34 PM on August 29, 2013 [1 favorite]
Moving is hard. L.A. is going to be different. You might love it, you might hate it, but 5 years will fly by and you will always have had that experience. 23 is the perfect age to move to L.A. That town is full of people who move there in their 20’s, stay a few years, and then leave. And I swear half the people in L.A. are from Ohio, with a large percentage from some other part of the Midwest.
You won’t really have to worry about Palm trees that much. There probably aren’t nearly as many as you think.
posted by bongo_x at 6:18 PM on August 29, 2013
You won’t really have to worry about Palm trees that much. There probably aren’t nearly as many as you think.
posted by bongo_x at 6:18 PM on August 29, 2013
There is a lot of good advice in this thread. I would add that if you are hankering for more fall-ish weather, L.A. is not too terribly far from places where you can experience that. In an hour (if you fly) or six (driving) you can be in the Bay Area and its environs, all of which have more leaves/cool weather/etc. than we do in Southern California.
And yes, please do call for a meetup when you get here. Or MeMail me if you like!
posted by corey flood at 6:51 PM on August 29, 2013
And yes, please do call for a meetup when you get here. Or MeMail me if you like!
posted by corey flood at 6:51 PM on August 29, 2013
I remember this feeling. I'm from LA but I left for a few years and made a lot of friends in a new town, but had to come back to LA. That place was HOME. However, those friends I made (in my young 20s) are still my friends, many years later. Hardly anyone still lives there but we still make a point to get together--and when I do visit that town, I get kind of sad and nostalgic, but the truth is, my friends don't live there anymore. Those close friends that you have in Ohio are still close friends (and they'll probably want to come sleep on your couch). Can you look at it like you're going abroad for a 5 year stint? You can always go back to Ohio. What's funny is that hardly anyone here is from LA...seems everyone I meet is from somewhere else.
Anyway, here's a couple of my LA tips as far as music:
* Start listening to KCRW (89.9) and sign up for their text and email alerts for food recs and music events. They put out something called "KCRW's 5 things to do this week" and I can't find the sign up but maybe it's here. Highly recommended.
* I know it seems corny but if you get here before the season ends, you should go see something at the Hollywood Bowl. I can't explain it but some fried chicken, beer and music on a warm night at the Hollywood Bowl is awesome.
* Sign up for Sofar. They send you monthly music events held in people's living rooms (or other small venues).
* Pick up an LA Weekly for more music venues. A couple you may want to check out: The Echo, The Troubadour, The El Rey, Largo(sign up for their emails--also great for comedy!), Hotel Cafe.
posted by biscuits at 10:35 PM on August 29, 2013
Anyway, here's a couple of my LA tips as far as music:
* Start listening to KCRW (89.9) and sign up for their text and email alerts for food recs and music events. They put out something called "KCRW's 5 things to do this week" and I can't find the sign up but maybe it's here. Highly recommended.
* I know it seems corny but if you get here before the season ends, you should go see something at the Hollywood Bowl. I can't explain it but some fried chicken, beer and music on a warm night at the Hollywood Bowl is awesome.
* Sign up for Sofar. They send you monthly music events held in people's living rooms (or other small venues).
* Pick up an LA Weekly for more music venues. A couple you may want to check out: The Echo, The Troubadour, The El Rey, Largo(sign up for their emails--also great for comedy!), Hotel Cafe.
posted by biscuits at 10:35 PM on August 29, 2013
one more thing: if you have to live in the Valley--i personally would not--then be sure you have an a/c unit in your place. we're in a heatwave right now--95 degrees today in lovely los feliz--and the Valley is usually around 5-10 degrees hotter on average. *faints*
also, check out curbed la for neighborhoody info. just click on your city for lots of interesting info. feel free to ask more LA questions anytime. i'm a native, would have never moved here if i lived elsewhere but love it nonetheless because it is my home.
as for losing your youth everyone here is young--even if they're not. ;)
posted by wildflower at 11:35 PM on August 29, 2013
also, check out curbed la for neighborhoody info. just click on your city for lots of interesting info. feel free to ask more LA questions anytime. i'm a native, would have never moved here if i lived elsewhere but love it nonetheless because it is my home.
as for losing your youth everyone here is young--even if they're not. ;)
posted by wildflower at 11:35 PM on August 29, 2013
For everyone that is harshing on the Valley: listen, we have some good stuff DeltaForce!
We have the best pupuserias,
We have Mulholland Drive overlooking the valley on 4th of July where you can see fireworks all over the valley.
We have Porto's (which you must visit)
We have the Pioneer Cemetery and the Mission San Fernando Rey de España
Bob's Big Boy Friday nights with the Road Kings (every Friday night in Toluca Lake - awesome!)
The NoHo arts district
A ton of great vintage shops (especially in Canoga Park)
Excellent libraries
And so much more! You'll have fun over the hill (in L.A. proper), but the valley is nothing to be ashamed of!!! Nothing!
posted by Sophie1 at 9:39 AM on August 30, 2013
We have the best pupuserias,
We have Mulholland Drive overlooking the valley on 4th of July where you can see fireworks all over the valley.
We have Porto's (which you must visit)
We have the Pioneer Cemetery and the Mission San Fernando Rey de España
Bob's Big Boy Friday nights with the Road Kings (every Friday night in Toluca Lake - awesome!)
The NoHo arts district
A ton of great vintage shops (especially in Canoga Park)
Excellent libraries
And so much more! You'll have fun over the hill (in L.A. proper), but the valley is nothing to be ashamed of!!! Nothing!
posted by Sophie1 at 9:39 AM on August 30, 2013
"We have the best pupuserias,
This is straight Valley delusion. Atlacatl.
They do, however, have Porto's (which is excellent for pastries), Mulholland Drive (which is scenic), and both Freakbeat and Atomic Records, both of which have fantastic vinyl selections. They've also got Vinh Loi Tofu, which has the best veggie banh mi in the LA area. I've also heard that Carousel, a Lebanese place, is pretty great though I haven't been to that one yet.
There's a lot of good stuff in the Valley, it's just that it takes a special trip for most of us under the hills and the traffic is always kinda a pain in the ass.
posted by klangklangston at 10:01 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
This is straight Valley delusion. Atlacatl.
They do, however, have Porto's (which is excellent for pastries), Mulholland Drive (which is scenic), and both Freakbeat and Atomic Records, both of which have fantastic vinyl selections. They've also got Vinh Loi Tofu, which has the best veggie banh mi in the LA area. I've also heard that Carousel, a Lebanese place, is pretty great though I haven't been to that one yet.
There's a lot of good stuff in the Valley, it's just that it takes a special trip for most of us under the hills and the traffic is always kinda a pain in the ass.
posted by klangklangston at 10:01 AM on August 30, 2013 [1 favorite]
I vote for living in the Valley, visiting the rest. But that’s just what I’m used to. Day to day, getting around, going to the store, eating out, it’s all much easier in the Valley. For one thing, there are actual places to park a car. You can sometimes go to the store without it turning into a multi hour ordeal. I can’t tell you how many times I went to somewhere over the hill and drove around for an hour or so and said "fuck this" and went home.
You may find that many people stay mostly in whatever area they live because it just takes too much effort to venture out. Get out and explore a bit. You’ll end up knowing more about many areas than people who've lived in L.A. their whole lives.
posted by bongo_x at 10:15 AM on August 30, 2013
You may find that many people stay mostly in whatever area they live because it just takes too much effort to venture out. Get out and explore a bit. You’ll end up knowing more about many areas than people who've lived in L.A. their whole lives.
posted by bongo_x at 10:15 AM on August 30, 2013
Don't forget to look up. Once the weather and the glamour etc wears off, don't forget to look up. A lot of LA is rather ugly at eye level, a byproduct of the decades during which it was built up. But at treetop level and above it's as gorgeous as ever. The city is so horizontally oriented that its easy to forget to do this, for months or years at a time. It's striking the difference it can make if you remember to look up at the palms, the sky, back towards the hills, and out towards the coast, etc.
posted by snuffleupagus at 9:23 PM on August 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by snuffleupagus at 9:23 PM on August 30, 2013 [2 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Think back to what your reasons were for moving in the first place. Obviously you had a reason or desire to go to LA. Try to examine that again, maybe some of your previous enthusiasm will reappear.
posted by bquarters at 8:43 PM on August 28, 2013 [2 favorites]