Help me find clarity!

August 21, 2013 7:34 PM

I am having trouble completely moving forward as I am delaying desires/dreams that I truly wanted to do. Should I just let these wants/desires go?

Hello everyone,

I am going to try and keep this one short and sweet. Simple and Pure.

Ok, so I have been having a difficult time progressing forward with my life and seem stuck in the middle. A little in limbo have you.

I have had aspirations of traveling, going to Peru, learning the cuisine, spending time there, teaching ESL etc. etc. and it really kind of inspires me on the inside (latin cuisine is completely up and coming in the world today).

However, I have been caught up in helping a friend start a business (he wants my help), but am having the toughest time, delaying this opportunity to travel again in turn of moving to a new city.

I find it hard to be truly excited and very very present. It is hard to fully and truly be excited about it, or clear anyways. As I am moving forward with moving, I keep mentally trying to figure and plan out how to travel and make it work. I Feel its an opportunity that I shouldn't pass up!

How can I help this situation or should I just let the whole idea of traveling go? (As it is kind of starting to sound like a broken record).

Thanks for your opinions~!

posted by wak5700 to Religion & Philosophy (5 answers total)

Are you deferring your travel plans because you want to help your friend, or do you feel you have to help your friend, or is your friend's offer to have you help with business just an excuse to keep you from taking a chance?

Once you figure that out, then the path you should take might become clearer.
posted by xingcat at 7:38 PM on August 21, 2013 [2 favorites]

trust your gut. if you have the finances and opportunity to travel then why not? it is where your heart is. now, if you have made some sort of firm commitment to your friend that would complicate things if it means you'd have to let them down to go travel. hopefully, you haven't made any long-term commitments and can take off. if you have made firm commitments to your friend then you have to weigh honoring your commitment vs. what you want to do. if that is the case then maybe you could work for your friend for an agreed upon set amount of time (e.g. 6 months or 1 year) and then go travel. don't give up on your dreams even if they have to be delayed just a bit.
posted by wildflower at 10:25 PM on August 21, 2013

Response by poster: Well I went back and forth quite a bit between the two, and I am deferring them to help a friend, because I kind of want to? (it's a great opportunity and a chance to make some cash hopefully!). But yes, I agree, trusting my gut is important. It's been a really big learning opportunity for listening to my inner self and trusting what it is telling me. But I think in retrospect I have been delaying in taking the chance/absolutely terrified of pulling the trigger. I think I definitely took the easier/safer route in this instance. And did something that I did not initially want to do.

I think that I have been delaying this chance to travel and am definitely using it as an excuse to keep me from taking a chance. I think it is something that I am absolutely scared of doing. Which is a good thing!
posted by wak5700 at 5:11 AM on August 22, 2013

Since you've committed and are moving forward with your plan to help your friend, do that. Use this time to secure an ESL job in Peru, and to plan to move there in the next 6-12 months.

When you move to help your friend, do it for the short term. Get rid of as much stuff as possible. Learn to travel and live light. If you can rent a room or at most a Studio/Bachelor while you're helping your friend, so much the better.

The minute you start accumulating stuff, you are weighing yourself down with items. Don't do that.

If you treat this as a temporary assignment, with your goal of doing your deal in Peru, then that's all it will be.

This is not a zero sum game. You can do both.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 5:46 AM on August 22, 2013 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks Ruthless Bunny! I believe that things will unravel as they should. I think that ultimately not doing it, would be incredibly unfulfilling. I have been toying with this idea for a long time now, and have had a certain lacking on the inside that I have experienced before. This lacking of deep excitement and really loving what I was/am doing. I am coming from a difficult place, but am working on settling down and regaining focus of what I really wanted.

Things were coming together very well and was very pleased with the path things were headed, but then fell apart and completely became fragmented. Right now, the pieces are slowly coming together, and (hopefully) becoming centered again.

Thanks for the feedback everyone!
posted by wak5700 at 1:55 PM on August 25, 2013