Dancing at parties and clubs (for women)

August 21, 2013 6:08 PM

I'm looking for tips to become a better dancer for the kind of dancing that happens at house parties, weddings, clubs, etc. I've got down the basic step back and forth, but when I try to do more I feel pretty awkward. If there's a mirror I can see that I look a bit awkward too, but it's hard for me to pinpoint why. The other women look like they're having so much fun dancing away! I don't expect to be great, but i'd like to be good enough to feel comfortable and have fun. Specifically, I'm wondering what kinds of dance class would be the most helpful to improve my club/party dancing skills (i.e. probably not ballet). I think it would be fun to take some dance, but other tips are welcome too.
posted by Gravel to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (14 answers total)

You could take a hip-hop class. Even if you don't use the hip-hop steps, you'd increase your confidence and rhythm.

But more importantly, you probably just want to break out and have fun. I don't know many people who are great dancers; its the energy they bring that makes me want to be next to them.
posted by frizz at 6:12 PM on August 21, 2013 [4 favorites]

Move your shoulders UP and down, not just side to side. Along with that, move your arms out-and-back. And of course the hips, in circular movements, like a hula hoop.

I like to pretend I'm doing a really intense fight scene (okay...mild fight scene), but basically I think it makes you look more dynamic. It's called movement for a reason.
posted by tooloudinhere at 6:16 PM on August 21, 2013

To clarify, I mean up-and-down one at a time--when one shoulder is up, the other should be down, in a fluid move. Don't be afraid to lean forward and lean back, also. USE YOUR SPACE is what I'm saying.

Last point: I firmly believe that jumping is underrated. As long as you're jumping from somewhere to somewhere, however small a distance (just not...in place) it looks fine. Arms, again, can help.
posted by tooloudinhere at 6:25 PM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Watch some hip-hop or pop music videos--not for full-blown choreography, of course, but I think most of the little moves I use when dancing I've picked up through watching lots of MTV when I was younger.

Also, this may not be your thing but a drink or two does WONDERS. Part of it is physically loosening up your body, but I know lots of people who say they speak foreign languages a lot better when tipsy, and I think dancing is the same: Much of it comes down to plain confidence/lack of inhibition.
posted by lovableiago at 6:30 PM on August 21, 2013 [3 favorites]

Zumba classes helped me to match steps to rhythm - I wasn't expecting that bonus! :) It also helped me feel more comfortable possibly looking goofy in public - you get over that pretty quick in those classes.
posted by sleepykitties at 6:36 PM on August 21, 2013 [4 favorites]

Zumba, hip-hop, salsa or other latin dance, and even belly dance classes will all give you moves you can easily use in a club.
posted by peanut_mcgillicuty at 6:58 PM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Bollywood or belly dance classes will give you some awesome hip moves/body rolling abilities. Workout videos can be great for this too.
posted by Fig at 7:01 PM on August 21, 2013

For rhythm, listen for the drum. Any dance class that teaches rhythmic movement will help - zumba, jazz, tap, salsa, ballroom, etc. Like most skills, practice helps.
posted by theora55 at 8:13 PM on August 21, 2013

I feel pretty awkward doing anything with my arms, but I do it anyway. I look around at what other people who look like they know what they're doing and try to copy them. Most of the time it comes out awkward.

The funny thing is I get complimented on my dancing from time to time. I think its bizzare because I feel rather awkward doing it.

My point is, you might feel awkward, you might think you look awkward, but if you're having a good time, it shows and then who cares!

Dance on!
posted by p1nkdaisy at 8:14 PM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

I learned most of my moves from "Thriller".
posted by town of cats at 8:35 PM on August 21, 2013 [1 favorite]

Vixen workout
posted by LaunchBox at 8:39 PM on August 21, 2013

I love dancing. I have no problem dancing alone. I go out dancing with my husband and friends quite a lot, more than most people, I think. People tell me I am a good dancer. Sometimes when I go out, if they aren't playing anything I like, I sit and watch people dance. When I'm asked to list my favorite activities, dancing tops my list.

So you should really listen to me when I say that ANY dancing is good dancing, from the point of view of the people that are watching and care about it. ALL of the people on the dance floor are just happy that you are dancing at all. The DJ is happy you're dancing. Your friends are happy you're dancing. Couples like my husband and I are happy you're out there dancing.

I can't speak about dance classes (sounds wonderful to me!) but I will pass on three things:

Find the beat. Every song you hear that's meant to get you dancing will have a beat. The beat is your best friend. If you are doing "the back and forth" to the beat, you are dancing. The rest is totally individual. Especially in more relaxed settings like clubs, weddings or parties. Unless you are in a formal dance competition, being perfect is not the goal of dancing. Being relaxed and having fun is the goal. (It's great exercise, too.)

If you know the song, you'll be able to dance to it more comfortably, you'll know what to expect (if the song changes tempo, for example, which can screw up even the best dancer's rhythm). You'll hear the same songs over and over again at weddings, parties and clubs. The more you know music, the better your dancing will be. The more you dance, the better you'll get.

Most importantly, do your own thing, really. When you dance alone (when no one is watching), that is your true self dancing, and that will work just fine. You can believe that or not, but it's true. It's hard to have fun with it if you are worried you're doing it wrong, but there is no wrong. Believe me, please, when I say that. The mere fact that you're dancing at all means you're doing it right from the point of view of those that are "good" at dancing.
posted by Grlnxtdr at 10:43 PM on August 21, 2013 [10 favorites]

I find that anything that involves interesting physical movements gives me ideas for dance moves--my club-dance repertoire includes movements from karate, yoga and yes, ballet, slowed down or speeded up as appropriate. I took some modern dance classes in high school that were also helpful.

Grlnxtdr is right that anything can be a dance if you do it with energy and have fun with it, but having some basic movement patterns to build on is definitely useful.
posted by fermion at 11:40 PM on August 21, 2013

I'm not sure if this is available in your area, but Dance Dance Party Party might help you feel comfortable dancing in front of others. A friend of mine just loves to dance and went to the Chicago chapter but there's many locations around the world.

Dance Dance Party Party is a women-only freestyle dance session happening all over this great Earth. But what does that mean? Women from all ages enter a dark room with a bunch of strangers, dance their asses off to an eclectic mix of dance songs, and leave as friends, refreshed. It's like reliving that late-night dance party from a sleep-over party you had when you were 10.

This is just a place to have fun but maybe you could learn a few moves from others or practice something new.
posted by Bunglegirl at 5:47 PM on August 24, 2013