Escaping a sick system
August 21, 2013 7:53 AM Subscribe
It's clear to me that my job is a sick system
, and I don't know how to get out.
posted by anonymous to work & money (12 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I'm experiencing the symptoms of being in a sick system. Work is in chronic crisis mode. I'm angry and stressed all the time, I feel hopeless, I feel too distraught to apply for jobs. Job rejections feel absolutely devastating. I reject job prospects because I'm afraid it will be just like this job. I have a lot in savings (About 20k), no debt, and no relationship. I kind of plan on using to moving out of state to find a new job, but I feel paralyzed with fear and anxiety over doing it.
I have a vacation (finally) coming due, after being pushed back twice over the last few months. I'll be driving across country. I hope it'll be enough to recenter myself. Other than this, I don't know what to do. I haven't known what to do for months.
Things I've tried
Spend most therapy sessions complaining about job, rather than working on depression. She has not given me many viable coping techniques.
I bike about 2-3 times a week. Most days I get home and have to just lie in bed for an hour because I'm too overwhelmed, unless I'm angry.
What little I do get done is pretty well received, I recently made a video game that got attention from a few blogs, and a t-shirt I made won a design contest. I have people tell me they look forward to my future work, and they tell me my "big break" is just around the corner, I remain pessimistic. I want to work on things but I can't, because most nights I don't have any energy.
Unfortunately I've found the only thing that "turns off" everything at the end of the night is a tumbler of Bourbon. I don't want to become dependent on it.
So yeah, I'm pretty stuck right now. How do I escape a sick system? I feel like I don't even have the space to think about it.
I left a lot out for brevity's sake. Throwaway email is escape2000themusical -at- gmail dot com.
Thanks for listening.