Baa baa scapegoat boyfriend
August 18, 2013 12:50 PM Subscribe
I have a lot of crap going on in my life to be frustrated and angry about, but for some reason I keep focusing it all on my totally blameless boyfriend. How do I stop this madness?
posted by anonymous to human relations (5 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I've had a bunch of unexpected, painful, scary health problems this year and been in and out the hospital. Through it all my boyfriend has been a totally supportive mensch. And yet, I keep growing more and more frustrated and bitter toward him. I've become incredibly jealous and resentful of the life he has without me (and he's not out partying on the town every night while I rest at home -- I'm talking about pretty blasé stuff like the fact that he gets to go to work every day or have dinner with his friends). Sometimes when we're apart I stalk his online presence for evidence of "fun" he's having or people he's hanging out with solely for the purpose of adding fuel to the fire of annoyance I'm feeling for no discernible reason.
I don't want to be this person and I don't understand why I keep taking my frustrations out on him. I don't have the same intense feelings of jealousy and resentment toward my family or other close friends. Obviously I'm having a lot of negative feelings because of my situation, but I hate that they seem to all be getting funneled directly to him. I don't want this to ruin our relationship but I fear if I don't get a handle on this resentment it will, and soon. I'm not being overtly mean or abusing him or anything, but I'm sure he can sense my feelings and has expressed hurt recently when I've been snippy or sarcastic or even just short (e.g. "That's nice." instead of "Cool! And then what happened?")
Why him? How do I snap out of this funk?
I'm already in therapy. Thanks.