How do I advise my (male) friend whose social circle is intersecting with a rapist? Seeking resources as well as advice. [Trigger warning]
Background: Someone I know was raped and abused by her ex. She's been very public about it, has a restraining order and is taking him to court, and I think she has a pretty good chance at the case. I believe her. (I'd like it if the thread didn't go down too many tangents about "well what if he's innocent?", because I think I have pretty good reasons to believe her.) As far as I know, her rapist is denying the accusations and has not shown interest in examining his behavior. He's a charismatic-but-troubled guy and seems to be moving on to social circles that don't intersect with his ex's as much.
The situation: A popular and very social close friend of mine has recently met the rapist and friended him on Facebook (not knowing his history) and has invited him to some social things. It sounds like they have some friends in common who are important to my friend. When I told him about his new acquaintance's history and said that I was uncomfortable about him, my friend was taken aback by the news and agreed to not invite us to the same events. He's also approaching this guy's new female friend-maybe-becoming-girlfriend to see if she knows what she's potentially getting into.
However, my friend doesn't think there's much else he should do about this guy. His history is of abusive behavior in long-term relationships, not of inappropriately skeeving on people or stuff like that, so my friend reasons that it should be safe for his friends to be around this guy in casual settings (and he'll warn them if romance seems to be developing).
I think it's a good start and I feel personally more safe now, but I'm not feeling totally satisfied with this course of action. I think that maybe my friend should confront the guy and see whether he claims he's working on himself or whether he denies and victim-blames. I think that there's a good chance that some people wouldn't feel comfortable socializing with this guy if they knew his history, so I wonder if my friend ought to inform the friends that he's bringing this guy into contact with. I'm also worried about this social circle that I'm part of becoming a place where this guy feels comfortable with his narrative that his "crazy ex" is falsely accusing him, that people will hear about it first from him and believe that and support him in it. And I'm worried (though I feel like it's a less likely possibility) that he'll hurt someone again. I'm also worried that if he were somehow ejected from my friend's social circle, he'll just keep moving on until he finds one where nobody knows his history or where he can convince everyone that the accusations are false.
I know that I'm ultimately not the boss of my friend, and I wouldn't want to control who he is and isn't friends with or make him do things he's not comfortable doing. However, I also feel like I have a responsibility to the guy's victim, to people in my friend's social circle, and to my anti-rape-culture principles to ask my friend to do more.
I'd like some outside perspective (including whether I should push back on my close friend's approach or back off because it isn't any of my business). So I'm interested in the hivemind's insight *and* advice/reading material on the topic that I can share with my friend. I've read Captain Awkward's "My friend, the rapist"
article, but it's not about this exact situation (though it has good food for thought and I'm considering sending it to my friend anyway).