Accompanying teens to AlAnon. What is my responsibility?
August 13, 2013 7:30 AM Subscribe
Can I morally and ethically be the adult who regularly drives a teenager to a weekly AlAnon/Alateen meeting? Her parents do not know she is attending, and I am not interested in obtaining their permission.
posted by anonymous to human relations (30 answers total)
Recently, I discussed the existence of AlAnon/AlaTeen with my teenaged relative who is the child of an active alcoholic. She expressed interest, and with the express permission and support of her (non-alcoholic) parent, I now accompany the teen to a local meeting. This meeting has a "regular" AlAnon meeting (which I now attend), and the teens in the group splinter off into their own, smaller meeting in a room next door. This is all good stuff.
Here's my complication: "My" teen has a close friend (age 14/15) who is the child of 2 active alcoholics. When I picked "my" teen up to go to the most recent meeting, this friend came along. I have now spoken very briefly with this friend, and she feels that she would suffer emotional abuse at the hands of her parents if they knew she was attending these meetings. She has a list of reasons why, but the primary among them is that she feels that her parents would be furious if they knew she revealed details of her home life to anyone outside of the family.
My question is: Can I morally and ethically be the adult who accompanies this other teen to these meetings? The only way she would attend is by riding in my car to the meetings. The adults involved in the meetings know that I am the adult that accompanied this friend to the recent meeting. I am fairly motivated to get this child the support that she so clearly needs and wants. I do not want to engage with the girls parents if at all possible. I just want to give her a ride to a weekly AlAnon/Alateen meeting that I am already going to.
What are my responsibilities to this child? To her family? Can I drive her to this weekly meeting?