Cards Against My Sanity
July 19, 2013 6:34 AM Subscribe
How do you encourage clever play instead of ironic ___ist pairings? Do you try to? Am I worrying too much?
I have a group of friends who identify as feminist and care about privilege and social justice and all that wholesome stuff. They are good people.
I also have friends, also good people, who do not identify quite so far on the uber left spectrum. Friends who I love, but maybe disagree with when certain topics come up.
These two groups often play the game the same way, and this gives me pause. Have you had similar misgivings? Did you overcome them? Did you take cards out? Which?
Am I missing some nuance that will set my mind at ease?
I have a big social thing coming up and I am sure the game will be busted out so I would like to know if others with similar concerns have any tips about enjoying the game.
previously on metafilter
I have a group of friends who identify as feminist and care about privilege and social justice and all that wholesome stuff. They are good people.
I also have friends, also good people, who do not identify quite so far on the uber left spectrum. Friends who I love, but maybe disagree with when certain topics come up.
These two groups often play the game the same way, and this gives me pause. Have you had similar misgivings? Did you overcome them? Did you take cards out? Which?
Am I missing some nuance that will set my mind at ease?
I have a big social thing coming up and I am sure the game will be busted out so I would like to know if others with similar concerns have any tips about enjoying the game.
previously on metafilter
Short of taking out the race-related cards, I'm not sure if it's possible to discourage *ism related humor while still actually playing the game the way it's intended.
I've played that game with friends who are all over the political spectrum, but this includes many friends who are very involved in social justice activism. I've never seen anyone actually be offended by the game (another friend reports that the only card they've ever had to remove was "The Virginia Tech Massacre"). I think the fact that it is, ultimately, a game about being deliberately offensive acts as a buffer that keeps people from feeling that the intent was to hurt someone.
posted by capricorn at 6:42 AM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I've played that game with friends who are all over the political spectrum, but this includes many friends who are very involved in social justice activism. I've never seen anyone actually be offended by the game (another friend reports that the only card they've ever had to remove was "The Virginia Tech Massacre"). I think the fact that it is, ultimately, a game about being deliberately offensive acts as a buffer that keeps people from feeling that the intent was to hurt someone.
posted by capricorn at 6:42 AM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Remember that the judge is the one who decides on the winning answer -- not the correct answer, not the funniest answer, not even the best answer. Just the winning answer. If the judge wants to say before plays are made, "Hey, just so y'all know, I hate [rape humor | racist humor | sexist humor]," that is totally legitimate.
posted by Etrigan at 6:51 AM on July 19, 2013 [8 favorites]
posted by Etrigan at 6:51 AM on July 19, 2013 [8 favorites]
Most of us have a sense of humor about ourselves and will tolerate more nonsense when playing games.
You might want to do a disclaimer at the beginning of the night, "Hey, we're all of different walks of life and political beliefs, but this is a game, so if you say something, be prepared for someone to give you shit about it. Let the games begin!"
I'm sure that if folks know that the game is being played, that obnoxious stuff will be said, and accepted the invitation anyway.
Don't worry about it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:53 AM on July 19, 2013
You might want to do a disclaimer at the beginning of the night, "Hey, we're all of different walks of life and political beliefs, but this is a game, so if you say something, be prepared for someone to give you shit about it. Let the games begin!"
I'm sure that if folks know that the game is being played, that obnoxious stuff will be said, and accepted the invitation anyway.
Don't worry about it.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:53 AM on July 19, 2013
You're over thinking it. It's a game whose sole purpose is to make people laugh by being as outrageous as possible. I have played with people of all stripes.
If the judge wants to say before plays are made, "Hey, just so y'all know, I hate [rape humor | racist humor | sexist humor]," that is totally legitimate.
And also totally unnecessary--unless I've been playing the game wrong, the judge gets to pick a winner on whatever basis they want. They can pick the tamest answer or the most outrageous. It's entirely personal. The cards are random, and the "winning" is solely based on the whimsy of the judge; it's not like playing a card means you're actually advocating for a puppy to be made into sausages. Are people actually playing this game to win? Just drink and laugh.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 6:56 AM on July 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
If the judge wants to say before plays are made, "Hey, just so y'all know, I hate [rape humor | racist humor | sexist humor]," that is totally legitimate.
And also totally unnecessary--unless I've been playing the game wrong, the judge gets to pick a winner on whatever basis they want. They can pick the tamest answer or the most outrageous. It's entirely personal. The cards are random, and the "winning" is solely based on the whimsy of the judge; it's not like playing a card means you're actually advocating for a puppy to be made into sausages. Are people actually playing this game to win? Just drink and laugh.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 6:56 AM on July 19, 2013 [4 favorites]
Best answer: Am I missing some nuance that will set my mind at ease?
Yeah, the part where it's a game intentionally designed to make people say awful things.
I think Cards Against Humanity is stupid. I honestly don't get what other people see in it. I have an excellent sense of humor, and there is very little I find truly offensive, so it's not that aspect I don't like about the game--it's that the game is lazy, and relies on things like "shitting dick nipples" to make laughs happen. Shitting dick nipples. Why is that funny? I can say random words, too. Barfing anus blossom. That's not a card but it could be. It's just stupid.
Anyway, rant aside, THE WHOLE POINT OF THAT GAME is to say dumb, awful things. Where do you draw the line? OK, so no racist stuff, ok, so take those cards out. But the coathanger abortion card is ok? How about the ten thousand ways you could combine the cards to make a pedophilia joke? Or all of the terrible things you could do to Glenn Beck? He's a card. But I guess it's ok to do terrible things to Glenn Beck because he's kind of a shitting dick nipple personified.
My point is, if you're going to take a "Cards Against Humanity is offensive because of X and we need to be careful not to do X" stance, you might as well not play the game, because there are nearly infinite legitimate values of X to take offense to.
It's OK to not like the game. Go play Apples to Apples instead.
posted by phunniemee at 7:00 AM on July 19, 2013 [34 favorites]
Yeah, the part where it's a game intentionally designed to make people say awful things.
I think Cards Against Humanity is stupid. I honestly don't get what other people see in it. I have an excellent sense of humor, and there is very little I find truly offensive, so it's not that aspect I don't like about the game--it's that the game is lazy, and relies on things like "shitting dick nipples" to make laughs happen. Shitting dick nipples. Why is that funny? I can say random words, too. Barfing anus blossom. That's not a card but it could be. It's just stupid.
Anyway, rant aside, THE WHOLE POINT OF THAT GAME is to say dumb, awful things. Where do you draw the line? OK, so no racist stuff, ok, so take those cards out. But the coathanger abortion card is ok? How about the ten thousand ways you could combine the cards to make a pedophilia joke? Or all of the terrible things you could do to Glenn Beck? He's a card. But I guess it's ok to do terrible things to Glenn Beck because he's kind of a shitting dick nipple personified.
My point is, if you're going to take a "Cards Against Humanity is offensive because of X and we need to be careful not to do X" stance, you might as well not play the game, because there are nearly infinite legitimate values of X to take offense to.
It's OK to not like the game. Go play Apples to Apples instead.
posted by phunniemee at 7:00 AM on July 19, 2013 [34 favorites]
I agree with phunniemee, I think Apples to Apples is the game you want to be playing here. Cards Against Humanity, in the very cards it provides you, doesn't encourage the "clever play" you're looking for, it just encourages people to be as outrageous as possible. Maybe it's just my sense of humor, but I think Apples to Apples can be funnier because people have to get more creative to win and don't have cards like "Feeding Rosie O'Donnell," "Stephen Hawking Talking Dirty," or "A Super Soaker Full of Cat Pee" to fall back on.
posted by radiomayonnaise at 7:28 AM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
posted by radiomayonnaise at 7:28 AM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
I think you might be over-thinking the game, or just don't enjoy playing it. I mean, isn't the tagline for the game something like "a party game for horrible people"?
The whole point of the game is to be outrageous, but also to know how to play to whoever is the judge of the round. So if you don't find something funny, you kind of change the dynamic of the game--not better or worse, just different.
I am a feminist, and have lots of friends who are feminists, queer, left-leaning people. They are absolutely BRUTAL when playing cards against humanity or apples to apples.
Maybe you should think of it as a bunch of smart, compassionate people bringing offensive humor to the point of absurdity. Or, don't play. Bring Apple to Apples instead. It's okay not to like the game.
posted by inertia at 7:33 AM on July 19, 2013
The whole point of the game is to be outrageous, but also to know how to play to whoever is the judge of the round. So if you don't find something funny, you kind of change the dynamic of the game--not better or worse, just different.
I am a feminist, and have lots of friends who are feminists, queer, left-leaning people. They are absolutely BRUTAL when playing cards against humanity or apples to apples.
Maybe you should think of it as a bunch of smart, compassionate people bringing offensive humor to the point of absurdity. Or, don't play. Bring Apple to Apples instead. It's okay not to like the game.
posted by inertia at 7:33 AM on July 19, 2013
Best answer: I think you're judging wrong. I mean, "A windmill full of corpses" is almost unanimously our group's favorite card, but it doesn't win every time. It has to be played on the right black card. Same for any white card that hints at a racist/sexist/whatever joke.
And! It's even better when something is begging for a joke like that (black card or white card; I won't name examples) but the player completely turns it around to make a non-*ist clever joke.
I imagine you're loathe to sink more money into the game, but I find that having the expansions helps play-style flexibility.
posted by supercres at 7:38 AM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
And! It's even better when something is begging for a joke like that (black card or white card; I won't name examples) but the player completely turns it around to make a non-*ist clever joke.
I imagine you're loathe to sink more money into the game, but I find that having the expansions helps play-style flexibility.
posted by supercres at 7:38 AM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
If you choose not to play Cards Against Humanity, that's fine, but if you're policing the game for other adults, I think that's stepping over a line and you're overreacting.
I'm a black woman with mostly white friends. For some of them, they may be a little narrow-minded and I'm the closest black friend they've ever had.
What's taught them most about my experience have been those weird, awkward, funny, drunk, party chats, those types of things that come from random human interaction with stupid board games, not me waving my finger, lecturing them on how they should behave.
You have every right to walk away and not participate but I don't think you should make that decision for other people.
posted by girlmightlive at 7:39 AM on July 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
I'm a black woman with mostly white friends. For some of them, they may be a little narrow-minded and I'm the closest black friend they've ever had.
What's taught them most about my experience have been those weird, awkward, funny, drunk, party chats, those types of things that come from random human interaction with stupid board games, not me waving my finger, lecturing them on how they should behave.
You have every right to walk away and not participate but I don't think you should make that decision for other people.
posted by girlmightlive at 7:39 AM on July 19, 2013 [3 favorites]
Best answer: Yeah, this is why I can't stand Cards Against Humanity. It's just so damn LAZY. It's not that I'm 'so PC,' it's that literally just saying offensive things isn't funny and that's the whole point of the game.
Also, don't replace it with Apples to Apples. Replace it with Dixit, which is even less likely to allow for lazily offensive 'jokes' and relies on the players' imaginations.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:46 AM on July 19, 2013 [7 favorites]
Also, don't replace it with Apples to Apples. Replace it with Dixit, which is even less likely to allow for lazily offensive 'jokes' and relies on the players' imaginations.
posted by showbiz_liz at 7:46 AM on July 19, 2013 [7 favorites]
Nthing that it just might not be the game for you. It certainly isn't the right game for me. Even with my queer-ish feminist friends, I feel worse about the world and more depressed after playing it.
posted by gregglind at 7:50 AM on July 19, 2013
posted by gregglind at 7:50 AM on July 19, 2013
Cards Against Humanity is a game for horrible people. It says that on the box.
There is a certain extent to which you need to be able to check your social justicey, high-minded self righteousness at the door if you want to be able to play and enjoy the game.
Maybe you still won't enjoy the game, because really, it is pretty simplistic. I myself think that the game is _amazing_ but I don't get the same thrill from playing it as I first did because yeah, what Barack Obama does with a gun and a hog is only funny so many times, so I can find it boring at times.
Don't feel bad about not liking the game, but try also not to judge people for wanting to have a little fun in a safe space with friends they trust (I once played it at a meetup with a bunch of people I didn't know very well... awkward).
posted by sparklemotion at 7:55 AM on July 19, 2013
There is a certain extent to which you need to be able to check your social justicey, high-minded self righteousness at the door if you want to be able to play and enjoy the game.
Maybe you still won't enjoy the game, because really, it is pretty simplistic. I myself think that the game is _amazing_ but I don't get the same thrill from playing it as I first did because yeah, what Barack Obama does with a gun and a hog is only funny so many times, so I can find it boring at times.
Don't feel bad about not liking the game, but try also not to judge people for wanting to have a little fun in a safe space with friends they trust (I once played it at a meetup with a bunch of people I didn't know very well... awkward).
posted by sparklemotion at 7:55 AM on July 19, 2013
Thirding Dixit, although I find that I spend a lot of time while playing that game just oohing and ahhing over the artwork.
posted by chainsofreedom at 9:34 AM on July 19, 2013
posted by chainsofreedom at 9:34 AM on July 19, 2013
I've never played CaH, but I know that the social justice writer (for XO Jane and Tiger Beatdown) s.e. smith does, and ou is leftie to the point where ou has ou's own non-gender specific pronoun and the seemingly obligatorily accompaniment of 'special snowflake' criticism for those who write about such things. So I think it's entirely possible to play with people who are more, for want of a better word, 'pc', but you might want to pick your poison. I'm not exactly tumblrcore myself, but I do identify as feminist and dislike ironic racism etc (AUGH SO BORING) so CaH sounds like the kind of game I'd rather play with people I know very well (and not necessarily align with politically) so that we know what subjects are touchy or triggery for each other, as it seems to be very much built around seeing how far you can go.
I have played, and liked, Apples to Apples a few times, and Dixit is great too. There's less opportunity in either game to come up with 2edgy4U answers.
posted by mippy at 10:06 AM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
I have played, and liked, Apples to Apples a few times, and Dixit is great too. There's less opportunity in either game to come up with 2edgy4U answers.
posted by mippy at 10:06 AM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, different kind of game, but hands down the best party card game is Cockroach Poker.
posted by mippy at 10:08 AM on July 19, 2013
posted by mippy at 10:08 AM on July 19, 2013
Best answer: I'm pretty progressive, but have played Cards Against Humanity a few times and set aside my social justiceyness to be outrageous and ridiculous - I usually avoid rape/racism stuff myself just because I don't think it's funny so wouldn't consider it a good answer, but I'll throw in things that are sexually out-there in some way... personally I just let it go because I figure it's just for fun. But I respect people who don't think racism/rape/whatever is funny in any context.
posted by sweetkid at 10:12 AM on July 19, 2013
posted by sweetkid at 10:12 AM on July 19, 2013
Best answer: And! It's even better when something is begging for a joke like that (black card or white card; I won't name examples) but the player completely turns it around to make a non-*ist clever joke.
Yea, this. I've played the game with a bunch of supernerd reddit types who just wanted to make horrible jokes. I sidestepped all the bad shit and just did actually funny stuff and often complete non-sequiturs. I ended up having more black cards at the end than anyone else.
It is completely possible to play the game without making any combinations that are very awful or even really at all awful.
posted by emptythought at 12:48 PM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Yea, this. I've played the game with a bunch of supernerd reddit types who just wanted to make horrible jokes. I sidestepped all the bad shit and just did actually funny stuff and often complete non-sequiturs. I ended up having more black cards at the end than anyone else.
It is completely possible to play the game without making any combinations that are very awful or even really at all awful.
posted by emptythought at 12:48 PM on July 19, 2013 [2 favorites]
Apples to Apples and Dixit are great suggestions, but the A2A derivative that's getting the love round here is Snake Oil. It's a game of creating mad products to sell to gullible customers, and you create the products by combining any two cards from your hand and making stuff up. So it's got the imaginative fun of Dixit without being tied to a specific set of images, and you can go filthy or transgressive if you want to. It's from Out Of The Box, the company that originally published Apples to Apples, so it's got pedigree.
posted by Hogshead at 2:51 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by Hogshead at 2:51 PM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]
The game isn't any "lazier" than Apples to Apples. People can be extremely clever with the game, and if you have funny and clever friends, then just let them play without censoring the game. Some of the best hands I've seen deal with a sensitive subject but are not just shock plays. If people are finding that CAH is just lazy outrage jokes, that's the fault of the players.
The question is, will your group be clever? And will they get offended at the occasional joke that is just lazy fake racism?
posted by spaltavian at 12:13 AM on July 20, 2013
The question is, will your group be clever? And will they get offended at the occasional joke that is just lazy fake racism?
posted by spaltavian at 12:13 AM on July 20, 2013
It is entirely possible to have a hand full of cards in CAH that is literally like "fart, butt, pedophile, balls, 9/11." Yeah, I could spend a bunch of time trying to figure out a way to play those cards in a way that is clever and witty... or I could use my time for absolutely anything else in the world.
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:41 AM on July 20, 2013
posted by showbiz_liz at 8:41 AM on July 20, 2013
Cockroach Poker sounds kinda like Bullshit (aka I Doubt It).
And if you're moving in the direction of Dixit, try good ol' Eat Poop You Cat (aka Telephone Pictionary, Cricket Cricket I'm on Fire, Fax Machine, Moneyduck and about 900 other names). Way sillier than CAH, way more fun, way more creative.
posted by jiawen at 12:18 AM on July 21, 2013
And if you're moving in the direction of Dixit, try good ol' Eat Poop You Cat (aka Telephone Pictionary, Cricket Cricket I'm on Fire, Fax Machine, Moneyduck and about 900 other names). Way sillier than CAH, way more fun, way more creative.
posted by jiawen at 12:18 AM on July 21, 2013
It is entirely possible
But not entirely likely, since you have 10 cards and get a new one each hand.
posted by spaltavian at 8:03 PM on July 22, 2013
But not entirely likely, since you have 10 cards and get a new one each hand.
posted by spaltavian at 8:03 PM on July 22, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
Originally, I think this was because someone was too cheap to print the answer PDF, but it's a lot of fun. Just make a bunch of slips of paper and ensure that there are adequate pens/pencils around.
posted by Cold Lurkey at 6:39 AM on July 19, 2013 [1 favorite]