Is it time to break up?
July 11, 2013 12:31 PM Subscribe
Is it time to break up finally? I'm fed up. But quite possibly I'm at fault.
posted by anonymous to human relations (124 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
Relationship of 5 years, early 20s.
He is routinely scatter-brained, has been diagnosed with ADD but is untreated and will not treat it, and has been thoughtless on too many occasions to count.
Right now things are rough for me financially. He has a great job but things are not going well for me at all. I am looking for a job and have recently paid off my debt, so at least there's that. It seems like it's on an almost daily basis that I am thought of last, but...when I bring it up, I am the bad guy. He shuts down, I'm being unreasonable, who cares what I want?
This may all be compounded by the fact that I have almost no food and have been subsisting on maybe 500 calories a day because of the lack of money for the past two weeks.
I have been scatterbrained too, I lost several cards and my keys as of a few days ago. Yesterday, I couldn't find my keys, but I needed to get out of the apartment so I walked downtown. I ended up locking myself and my wallet outside the apartment. It started storming so I went to the library so I could at least get water from the water fountain. I spent four hours there until they closed, and then after they closed, because it was pouring, sat under a bank drive-thru. I waited for two hours under the bank drive-thru for him to get off work to come get me (which is understandable of course. He had work). By that point, I was starving, grumpy, wet, and cold. Instead of driving to me, I had to walk through the rain across a large parking lot. Yes, that sounds completely diva-like, but if he had no food and was wet and grumpy and waiting for me for two hours, I would easily drive my car across the parking lot to get him.
Today I was again stuck in the house all day, no keys, no food. He went out to dinner to get fancy sushi with his coworkers, wouldn't return any of my calls, and then surprised me by coming home with both of them without giving me even 10 minutes warning (I haven't showered, I'm depressed, I look disgusting.) I ran into the shower, while I heard them all walking around the whole apartment laughing while I stood in a cold shower (it takes 5 minutes to warm up, our bathroom door doesn't close) just to hide from them.
Then they leave and I call him when I get out of my shower and I find out they're going to a bar and he will be home late. I have no food, no keys (I will be taking care of that in the next couple days, hopefully if I find a ride to the dealer), and then I basically have to beg him to agree to take me to Walmart to get some food when gets back (but it will be late, and he has work in the morning he says!).
Edit: So he said he'd be home around 11, but it's almost 2 now. Which is fine if he would have let me know, just a quick text. But he said he lost track of time (from 9 to 2 am?)
So should I just break up with him? Is this the final straw after five years? Or am I being a diva and is this being compounded by my grumpiness due to eating only a banana and old cheese today? I am just frustrated and crying and hungry and fed up.