Party Animal Boyfriend - When is it too much?
July 10, 2013 10:20 PM Subscribe
My long term-ish boyfriend has developed over time a fixation with a particular crowd of young, party-going types and it's become more and more of a roadblock for me. He gains a significant degree of his self-esteem from going to parties/events that feature music, drug use, and what appears to me no more than lots of idle talk and some vaguely creative pursuits. Meanwhile, my boyfriend is in fact on the older side - approaching 40 - with no sense of financial planning or pursuing a truly meaningful career. It would seem that he has found a community of supportive, yet drug-using and less than gainfully employed young people to supply him with an ego boost. I, however, am entering a period of life in which I feel it's time to finally pursue commitment and plans for financial and familial security, yet I constantly feel abandoned as my boyfriend is out staying up all night at these parties.
posted by afabulousbeing to Human Relations (40 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
Tonight, for instance, he knew I had to be at work early in the morning and we agreed to stop by one of these events briefly and then return home. Instead once we found our way there, he began to complain about having to leave and ultimately I left him behind - much to my disgust and anger. My question is - is it reasonable to expect one's partner to abide by a similar schedule and not spend their nights up all night at parties? I honestly can't figure out if I'm being unreasonable or if he is in fact behaving badly. How should I approach this situation when I barely care about partying yet my boyfriend is entirely enamored with it? Thank you so much...