My brother's wife just came out
July 5, 2013 5:36 AM Subscribe
How do I support my brother, his wife, and myself through my sister-in-law coming out as a lesbian?
posted by katie521 to Human Relations (47 answers total)
My younger brother married his current wife last June (just just past their one-year anniversary). Since their marriage, he and his wife have lived with me (I'm single). We all got along for the most part and it was mostly financially beneficial for all of us. Since about Christmas though the house has been extremely tense and about 2 months ago my sister-in-law and my brother sat me down and shared that she is a lesbian and wants to come out now (not really a surprise). I felt hurt and angry that I was expected to keep this secret until she was ready to share this with our family, and over the course of the last month, my family and her family have all been told. Everyone, including me, is very supportive for the most part.
I'm struggling at this point with how best to support my brother, his wife, and myself. They will be separating but want to continue living here. They want to tell a sports league we're all involved with this week what they're going through but I feel like this is unnecessary. Why share this with acquaintences? Close friends I understand but not an entire league. I'm not sure why I'm having more trouble now that I know for sure a separation is happening (at one point they discussed an open marriage). I do feel like for a long time I was expected to carry this for them/keep secrets/act like everything is normal, and now my feelings aren't being considered. Any advice? Anyone gone through anything similar?