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Help me name my car
June 24, 2013 10:25 AM   Subscribe

I will be picking up my brand new Kia Rio EX (5 door, manual transmission, black). I name my cars. Help me name this one like a boss.

My last car was named Kevin, which was a great name except that the mother of my step son married a guy named Kevin, so it has gotten awkward. So I'm looking for a name that is fun, rolls off the tongue (pref. 2 syllables), and is not likely to be that of someone I know. Current contender is "Lenny" but I'm sort of "ehhhhh" about it.

No "Bertha" or "Betsy" or other usual car names need apply. Plus, where my car is a stick shift I can't help but think it warrants a male name. :)
posted by PuppetMcSockerson to Grab Bag (33 answers total)
 
Mr Moto.
posted by yoink at 10:30 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Rodney.
posted by MoonOrb at 10:31 AM on June 24, 2013


Baxter.
posted by Tomorrowful at 10:32 AM on June 24, 2013


Any car named Rio should be named after one of the members of Duran Duran: John Taylor, Roger Taylor, Simon Le Bon, and Nick Rhodes.

The obvious choice is Simon Le Bon. As in, "this is my car, Simon Le Bon. lt's also married to a supermodel."
posted by MuffinMan at 10:32 AM on June 24, 2013 [15 favorites]


Niles. (Rio = River; Niles = awesome river)
posted by Nickel Pickle at 10:33 AM on June 24, 2013


Carnie or Jan?
posted by kate4914 at 10:36 AM on June 24, 2013


Carson.
posted by Kabanos at 10:39 AM on June 24, 2013


I'm with MuffinMan. Simon is perfect for that car.
posted by Rock Steady at 10:41 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Roland
posted by LionIndex at 10:49 AM on June 24, 2013


Ivan.
posted by BigHeartedGuy at 11:05 AM on June 24, 2013


Antoine, Patrick, Edgar
posted by Fig at 11:08 AM on June 24, 2013


Ricky (rio kia),

Wolfgang (no idea why),

George (from Smiley),

Franz (from Kafka)
posted by Namlit at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Carson.

Awk.... ward.

I suggest Angel, but pronounced like they do in Spanish: Ahng-Hell.
posted by carsonb at 11:09 AM on June 24, 2013


It doesn't really meet your criteria, but for some reason, I thought Floyd.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 11:25 AM on June 24, 2013


where my car is a stick shift I can't help but think it warrants a male name.

If we're going for phallic symbolism, you should name it after a professional male sexhaver. And of those, the absolute funniest name any man ever came up with is "Brian Pumper"

That is a real dude

A real dude who named himself "Brian Pumper"

So I think you should name your car "Brian".
posted by Greg Nog at 11:27 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Nigel.
posted by Kabanos at 11:31 AM on June 24, 2013


I think it's a Barry.
posted by specialagentwebb at 11:38 AM on June 24, 2013


Rocky.

It screams cocky cute boy next door who might flip you off or yield to traffic, depending on his day. Rocky is unpredictable.
posted by QueerAngel28 at 11:39 AM on June 24, 2013


refer to it as your ex
posted by ouke at 11:42 AM on June 24, 2013


Kia is a Korean company.

Kim. Park. Chung. Lee.

Psy.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:43 AM on June 24, 2013


Ex-Ray
The Ex Factor
The Ex-Man
posted by jcworth at 11:47 AM on June 24, 2013


I named my car Sue, after Sue Shiomi, Sister Street Fighter. But she's a girl car.

But you having a boy car, Street Fighter himself is still open -- Sonny Chiba. 'Sonny' is a great name for a car. "Come on, Sonny!" "Let's go, Sonny!" "Want some washer fluid, Sonny?" Totally works.
posted by Capt. Renault at 11:53 AM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


Billy Idle
posted by MustardTent at 11:53 AM on June 24, 2013 [3 favorites]


Ricky
posted by theora55 at 11:59 AM on June 24, 2013


"Beep Beep", after Vladimir Nabokov's son's powerboat.
posted by janey47 at 12:11 PM on June 24, 2013


Humphrey
posted by lily_bart at 12:23 PM on June 24, 2013


Rodrigo
posted by Elly Vortex at 12:42 PM on June 24, 2013 [1 favorite]


I named my car Sue

Name it Sue and get a customized license plate surround reading "My name is Sue, how do you do?" Johnny Cash fans, at least, will get it.
posted by yoink at 1:00 PM on June 24, 2013


Kabanos: "Nigel."

I like. That way, if it needs service, or a wash, or detailing, you can hum some XTC to yourself.

Of course, you are talking to someone that named his CRX "The Red Rollerskate" and his dark brown Cavalier the "Furp", which stood for "The Flying Road Poo". So, you might not want to listen to me.
posted by Samizdata at 1:25 PM on June 24, 2013


Entropy.
posted by Mr. Yuck at 2:42 PM on June 24, 2013


Merlin
posted by snowysoul at 7:55 PM on June 24, 2013


Thanks for all the suggestions everyone! There were tons of really great name options, but I've decided to go with Wolfgang.
posted by PuppetMcSockerson at 4:18 AM on June 25, 2013 [1 favorite]


Aw...I was gonna suggest K-Rex
posted by Thorzdad at 5:40 AM on June 25, 2013


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