Engagement didn't work out - but she's still on the mortgage
May 22, 2013 5:28 PM Subscribe
So I got engaged and bought a house with my fiancee. We lived together for a couple of years but it did not go well and she moved out. So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed.
The same week that she moved out I lost my government contractor job. Thanks to the (fear of) sequester I sat at home unemployed for 7 months. Now I'm back at work but because of the sequester I took a $35000 pay cut. So I'm working but my income has been cut by a third.
Right now I am renting out two of the rooms to help make ends meet. It's a nice house in a good location near public transit so I get decent rent for it. I figure the only way to get her off the mortgage is to refinance. I'm not sure if I can do that on my current income. I'm struggling a bit to keep the payments up as it is.
She figures her interest in the house is about $15000. So she has told me if I can pay off that much of it to her then she thinks that it's fair. At first we were talking about monthly payments but now she's telling me she would like to get that in a lump sum. I should add that she has rather expensive tastes, is not good with money, and is currently broke.
To be frank I don't know if I can do much of anything - besides selling the place, at my current income. However I do think at some point Congress will get off their ass, work something out, and I can get another position closer to my old salary.
So I'm looking for some pointers because to be quite frank I'm not even sure where to start.
The same week that she moved out I lost my government contractor job. Thanks to the (fear of) sequester I sat at home unemployed for 7 months. Now I'm back at work but because of the sequester I took a $35000 pay cut. So I'm working but my income has been cut by a third.
Right now I am renting out two of the rooms to help make ends meet. It's a nice house in a good location near public transit so I get decent rent for it. I figure the only way to get her off the mortgage is to refinance. I'm not sure if I can do that on my current income. I'm struggling a bit to keep the payments up as it is.
She figures her interest in the house is about $15000. So she has told me if I can pay off that much of it to her then she thinks that it's fair. At first we were talking about monthly payments but now she's telling me she would like to get that in a lump sum. I should add that she has rather expensive tastes, is not good with money, and is currently broke.
To be frank I don't know if I can do much of anything - besides selling the place, at my current income. However I do think at some point Congress will get off their ass, work something out, and I can get another position closer to my old salary.
So I'm looking for some pointers because to be quite frank I'm not even sure where to start.
You can't afford the house and even your bank recognizes it if you can't get a refinance. Cut your losses and sell the house.
posted by saeculorum at 5:34 PM on May 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
posted by saeculorum at 5:34 PM on May 22, 2013 [10 favorites]
Wow. I think your feelings towards your ex are really clouding things.
Your ex deserves repayment on her investment. Accepting a payment plan prolongs her connection with you, and vice versa. Most sane people who break-up wouldn't accept a payment plan because it is too much drama AND there is too much financial risk.
If you can not get a loan to pay off your ex in one lump sum, or qualify to refinance, then yes, you need to sell and pay back your ex with the proceeds.
With your present position, I think your ex should get a lawyer to draw up documents and/or file papers that protect her investment, but I have no way to tell her this.
posted by jbenben at 5:53 PM on May 22, 2013 [14 favorites]
Your ex deserves repayment on her investment. Accepting a payment plan prolongs her connection with you, and vice versa. Most sane people who break-up wouldn't accept a payment plan because it is too much drama AND there is too much financial risk.
If you can not get a loan to pay off your ex in one lump sum, or qualify to refinance, then yes, you need to sell and pay back your ex with the proceeds.
With your present position, I think your ex should get a lawyer to draw up documents and/or file papers that protect her investment, but I have no way to tell her this.
posted by jbenben at 5:53 PM on May 22, 2013 [14 favorites]
Do you agree that $15k is fair? If so, you just need to find a way to come up with $15k. None of the other stuff matters. Just look at it as, "I need to come up with $15k as soon as possible.... how can I do that?" and forget about all the other stuff.
Ask your bank if you can qualify for a cash-out refinance or a home equity loan that would let you pull out $15k to pay her off with. If you don't have enough equity to qualify for that, put your mind to other ways you might come up with the cash. Do you have anything you can sell? Can you get a part time job at night? Can you borrow from your Mom/Dad/Rich Uncle? If you explore all options and still come up empty, your best bet might be to just sell the house and find something cheaper. Realize though that selling a house and moving also carry pretty high costs -- compare what you would spend doing that plus the hassle of doing that vs. the $15k figure. Suddenly $15k might look like more of a bargain.
And although it may seem tempting, if you ask her to finance the $15k for you, then you're tied to her for however many years it takes you to pay it off. I really don't think you're gonna like that.
posted by spilon at 5:57 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Ask your bank if you can qualify for a cash-out refinance or a home equity loan that would let you pull out $15k to pay her off with. If you don't have enough equity to qualify for that, put your mind to other ways you might come up with the cash. Do you have anything you can sell? Can you get a part time job at night? Can you borrow from your Mom/Dad/Rich Uncle? If you explore all options and still come up empty, your best bet might be to just sell the house and find something cheaper. Realize though that selling a house and moving also carry pretty high costs -- compare what you would spend doing that plus the hassle of doing that vs. the $15k figure. Suddenly $15k might look like more of a bargain.
And although it may seem tempting, if you ask her to finance the $15k for you, then you're tied to her for however many years it takes you to pay it off. I really don't think you're gonna like that.
posted by spilon at 5:57 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Nth'ing "Get a lawyer." And ask your ex to get one too, to lessen the chances that one of you gets screwed.
However I do think at some point Congress will get off their ass, work something out, and I can get another position closer to my old salary.
Do not commit (further) to a mortgage on a house you can't afford based on this. Even if the sequester is "solved," the government is downsizing, especially if you worked in the defense or aerospace industry. It's going to be a while before there's enough money to pay contractors six figures for the old six-figures jobs.
posted by Etrigan at 6:00 PM on May 22, 2013
However I do think at some point Congress will get off their ass, work something out, and I can get another position closer to my old salary.
Do not commit (further) to a mortgage on a house you can't afford based on this. Even if the sequester is "solved," the government is downsizing, especially if you worked in the defense or aerospace industry. It's going to be a while before there's enough money to pay contractors six figures for the old six-figures jobs.
posted by Etrigan at 6:00 PM on May 22, 2013
Could you sell it for a profit? And by profit, I mean you can pay her off and walk away without losing any money.
Seriously, you can't afford it and you don't know when you can. I'm sure the stress is killing you. This is a lot to have hanging over your head, not to mention it indefinitely drags out things with your ex.
Just do it. You'll feel so much better once you have a clean start in a place you can afford. Really what are you holding onto this place for? There are other houses and one day after you sell this one and rent for awhile, you'll buy another.
posted by whoaali at 6:10 PM on May 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
Seriously, you can't afford it and you don't know when you can. I'm sure the stress is killing you. This is a lot to have hanging over your head, not to mention it indefinitely drags out things with your ex.
Just do it. You'll feel so much better once you have a clean start in a place you can afford. Really what are you holding onto this place for? There are other houses and one day after you sell this one and rent for awhile, you'll buy another.
posted by whoaali at 6:10 PM on May 22, 2013 [5 favorites]
She figures her interest in the house is about $15000.
That's not how you determine ownership. It's not by "figuring" but by math and method. You might owe her way less, thereby making your current obligation issues much less. Or, you may owe her more. Consult a lawyer - don't take each other's word for it (which is how you went from thinking monthly payments to now a lump sum demand).
posted by Kruger5 at 6:29 PM on May 22, 2013 [8 favorites]
That's not how you determine ownership. It's not by "figuring" but by math and method. You might owe her way less, thereby making your current obligation issues much less. Or, you may owe her more. Consult a lawyer - don't take each other's word for it (which is how you went from thinking monthly payments to now a lump sum demand).
posted by Kruger5 at 6:29 PM on May 22, 2013 [8 favorites]
Be very leery of what she 'figures' is her investment in the house. That is an actual number. It is a calculation not a feeling. If she wants to let you off with less than her actual investment that's her choice. If you want to pay her more than her investment that's your choice. Just be sure which choice you are making.
posted by srboisvert at 6:30 PM on May 22, 2013 [11 favorites]
posted by srboisvert at 6:30 PM on May 22, 2013 [11 favorites]
Money in, money out.
You're both still owners of the house. Sell it and divide the proceeds, or divide the proceeds proportionally by what you both put in as a down payment. If she disagrees, she should offer to buy you out.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:24 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
You're both still owners of the house. Sell it and divide the proceeds, or divide the proceeds proportionally by what you both put in as a down payment. If she disagrees, she should offer to buy you out.
posted by JoeZydeco at 7:24 PM on May 22, 2013 [3 favorites]
Yeah, this is wicked complicated. She might have a $15k interest in the house but she also might have a -$15k interest in the house. If you can at all swing it I think a lawyer is critically important here.
posted by ftm at 8:05 PM on May 22, 2013
posted by ftm at 8:05 PM on May 22, 2013
Technically speaking, you don't need to refinance the mortgage. You can assume the note and she can quitclaim her interest in the property to you. The problem with this is that the lender is likely to treat the assumption process like a loan application, so you will need to reveal your financial situation and the bank might not approve the transaction since your ability to pay the mortgage will depend on your roommates.
Your ex might have contributed some amount of money toward the house (down payment, mortgage payments, improvements) except that equity (if any) is tied up in the house. There's no way to understand what she's owed without an appraisal of the house and a fairly detailed analysis of your respective contributions.
The easiest and safest way to deal with this is to sell the house. That way you don't have to work anything out with your lender or agree on an appraiser. You will need to agree on how to allocate the proceeds from the sale (assuming there are proceeds) but that's much easier than trying to figure out how to come up with a lump sum payment or draft an enforceable settlement. And it's much better than digging up $15k only to eventually realize that you're actually under water....
posted by subgenius at 8:07 PM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Your ex might have contributed some amount of money toward the house (down payment, mortgage payments, improvements) except that equity (if any) is tied up in the house. There's no way to understand what she's owed without an appraisal of the house and a fairly detailed analysis of your respective contributions.
The easiest and safest way to deal with this is to sell the house. That way you don't have to work anything out with your lender or agree on an appraiser. You will need to agree on how to allocate the proceeds from the sale (assuming there are proceeds) but that's much easier than trying to figure out how to come up with a lump sum payment or draft an enforceable settlement. And it's much better than digging up $15k only to eventually realize that you're actually under water....
posted by subgenius at 8:07 PM on May 22, 2013 [2 favorites]
Actually, you may be in a stronger position than you think. Depending on how the house is titled, she may not be able to force you to sell. It is possible that she could sell her half, but no one would buy half a house.
Meanwhile her name is on the mortgage, so if payments are not made, her credit is affected. Therefore she should be motivated to be flexible if you don't want to sell the house. That might mean negotiating on the buyout price and installment payments instead of all cash.
There is probably no easy way she could force you to cash her out immediately or sell the house without an expensive lawsuit. So you should try to work out a deal that allows you to keep the house and pay her off over time. This is assuming that you want to keep the house and can handle the mortgage on your own salary plus your renters. She might not like it, but there is no easy way to get her name off the mortgage if you don't qualify for a re-fi.
posted by JackFlash at 8:16 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Meanwhile her name is on the mortgage, so if payments are not made, her credit is affected. Therefore she should be motivated to be flexible if you don't want to sell the house. That might mean negotiating on the buyout price and installment payments instead of all cash.
There is probably no easy way she could force you to cash her out immediately or sell the house without an expensive lawsuit. So you should try to work out a deal that allows you to keep the house and pay her off over time. This is assuming that you want to keep the house and can handle the mortgage on your own salary plus your renters. She might not like it, but there is no easy way to get her name off the mortgage if you don't qualify for a re-fi.
posted by JackFlash at 8:16 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
I know someone who was (very easily and successfully) sued to force a sale by the co-owner of a shared residence - so any Internet advice you get that she's stuck is obviously bullshit depending on your jurisdiction.
I suppose you could threaten not to pay the mortgage as a negotiating tactic, but aside from the mutually assured destruction aspect, it would also be HIGHLY unethical.
Get lawyers. Both of you. Dissolve this financial arrangement like professionals and adults.
Good luck.
posted by jbenben at 9:44 PM on May 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
I suppose you could threaten not to pay the mortgage as a negotiating tactic, but aside from the mutually assured destruction aspect, it would also be HIGHLY unethical.
Get lawyers. Both of you. Dissolve this financial arrangement like professionals and adults.
Good luck.
posted by jbenben at 9:44 PM on May 22, 2013 [4 favorites]
I had this exact issue 2 years ago. The process of refinancing took me over a year due to some of the same issues you're describing, including my ex wanting cash. Look at it this way: If you were selling the house to a stranger any equity would be determined by the appraised value of the house. In this situation, the two of you are selling the house to just you. She may not be owed any money at all. I finally had to enlist the help of a real estate attorney to make these details clear. It didn't cost as much as I thought it would, and it saved me thousands of dollars in the end.
posted by secrethandshake at 10:04 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by secrethandshake at 10:04 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]
Get lawyers. Both of you. Dissolve this financial arrangement like professionals and adults.
Yes. The last thing you want is to think you've settled everything then six months later get hauled into court for a property settlement that you could have avoided by doing it properly now. There's a house involved, and for all you know she may already have a lawyer - you need one too.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 2:03 AM on May 23, 2013
Yes. The last thing you want is to think you've settled everything then six months later get hauled into court for a property settlement that you could have avoided by doing it properly now. There's a house involved, and for all you know she may already have a lawyer - you need one too.
posted by A Thousand Baited Hooks at 2:03 AM on May 23, 2013
You have stated that you cannot afford the current loan let alone additional borrowing. You and your ex own an asset and you share a debt secured on that asset. I would sell the asset and clear the debt and share any profit. If the equity is currently insufficient to clear the debt things get way more complicated.
posted by BenPens at 4:05 AM on May 23, 2013
posted by BenPens at 4:05 AM on May 23, 2013
Things have changed and you can't afford it. I'm very sorry, but you should move on from this situation -- by selling, if you can.
posted by J. Wilson at 5:07 AM on May 23, 2013
posted by J. Wilson at 5:07 AM on May 23, 2013
You need to sell and move. Split the proceeds. That's the fair, right and equitable thing to do.
Also, learn this lesson--never buy real estate with anyone who isn't married to you.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:16 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Also, learn this lesson--never buy real estate with anyone who isn't married to you.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:16 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
I would, at least, try to get a re-fi. The worst a bank could do is say "no".
If that fails, then yeah.....sell the house. That might be the best move anyway.
At this point, the house is a business arrangement between you and your ex-fiancee. Treat it as such. Sell the house, split the proceeds. When you get back on your feet, you can get another place that doesn't have the stink of the ex-fiancee associated with it.
Some more advice: Selling a house can actually be more time consuming and require more effort than you think. Make sure she does her share of cleaning for open houses and such. If she is to benefit from the sale of the home, she should also put in the necessary effort to make that happen.
posted by PsuDab93 at 6:21 AM on May 23, 2013
If that fails, then yeah.....sell the house. That might be the best move anyway.
At this point, the house is a business arrangement between you and your ex-fiancee. Treat it as such. Sell the house, split the proceeds. When you get back on your feet, you can get another place that doesn't have the stink of the ex-fiancee associated with it.
Some more advice: Selling a house can actually be more time consuming and require more effort than you think. Make sure she does her share of cleaning for open houses and such. If she is to benefit from the sale of the home, she should also put in the necessary effort to make that happen.
posted by PsuDab93 at 6:21 AM on May 23, 2013
Either you need to refinance the house in order to get enough cash out of it to buy out your ex's interest, so that you will own it 100%, or you need to sell the house and split the proceeds based on your mutual interest in the house.
Rather than thinking about her interest as being a fixed amount, e.g. $15k, you instead need to figure out the ratio of her contributions to the house (down payment, mortgage payments, any upgrades/repairs/etc.) to yours. And from there figure out a percentage ownership.
What you should probably do is each get a lawyer to work that out, and put together an agreement that you both sign, specifying exactly how much of the house each of you have.
If you decide to refinance and can find a bank willing to do it, as part of the process they'll conduct an assessment and that will establish a value for the house which you can use to figure out her interest in the property, and then buy her out. It might end up being more or less than the actual money she has put into the place, depending on how property values have fluctuated in the area.
Or if you sell it, you can break up the proceeds according to the percentage that you work out. Which might -- depending on the selling price of the house and how much you owe the bank -- mean that she gets less than $15k out of the deal. Again, that's why you can't just specify a flat dollar figure for her interest in the house; you need to figure out a proportion, because the actual sale value of the house really won't be known until you actually sell it.
Anyway, you are deep into get-a-lawyer territory. This is not an especially uncommon situation or anything, but it is not something that you can just deal with by yourself. And just setting an arbitrary dollar figure is fairly risky, and it's hard to say without more information whether you or she would be the one getting screwed; it could go either way.
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:40 AM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Rather than thinking about her interest as being a fixed amount, e.g. $15k, you instead need to figure out the ratio of her contributions to the house (down payment, mortgage payments, any upgrades/repairs/etc.) to yours. And from there figure out a percentage ownership.
What you should probably do is each get a lawyer to work that out, and put together an agreement that you both sign, specifying exactly how much of the house each of you have.
If you decide to refinance and can find a bank willing to do it, as part of the process they'll conduct an assessment and that will establish a value for the house which you can use to figure out her interest in the property, and then buy her out. It might end up being more or less than the actual money she has put into the place, depending on how property values have fluctuated in the area.
Or if you sell it, you can break up the proceeds according to the percentage that you work out. Which might -- depending on the selling price of the house and how much you owe the bank -- mean that she gets less than $15k out of the deal. Again, that's why you can't just specify a flat dollar figure for her interest in the house; you need to figure out a proportion, because the actual sale value of the house really won't be known until you actually sell it.
Anyway, you are deep into get-a-lawyer territory. This is not an especially uncommon situation or anything, but it is not something that you can just deal with by yourself. And just setting an arbitrary dollar figure is fairly risky, and it's hard to say without more information whether you or she would be the one getting screwed; it could go either way.
posted by Kadin2048 at 6:40 AM on May 23, 2013 [2 favorites]
Where to start is with a lawyer. The idea of "hiring a lawyer" may seem overwhelming, but an initial consultation is a baby step; it isn't so scary of a commitment.
First, you get a recommendation. Start with your community legal services offices, or the legal clinic at nearby universities. Even if you don't qualify for free legal aid, you may be able to get a referral from them.
Then, you call the lawyer and say "I have a messy real estate situation -- I bought a house with my fiancee, the engagement didn't work out, but I want to keep the house. I think I need some legal advice about my options, so I'm calling to ask about maybe getting a consultation and what would that cost?"
They'll be up front with you about the limits of what they can provide in a consultation versus being hired "for real," so to speak. Maybe someone with more knowledge specifically of real estate law can chime in with what is typical.
posted by desuetude at 10:18 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
First, you get a recommendation. Start with your community legal services offices, or the legal clinic at nearby universities. Even if you don't qualify for free legal aid, you may be able to get a referral from them.
Then, you call the lawyer and say "I have a messy real estate situation -- I bought a house with my fiancee, the engagement didn't work out, but I want to keep the house. I think I need some legal advice about my options, so I'm calling to ask about maybe getting a consultation and what would that cost?"
They'll be up front with you about the limits of what they can provide in a consultation versus being hired "for real," so to speak. Maybe someone with more knowledge specifically of real estate law can chime in with what is typical.
posted by desuetude at 10:18 AM on May 23, 2013 [1 favorite]
Real estate law differs by state.
There may also be a difference in what happens depending on what form of ownership you have, tenants in common, joint tenancy with right of survivorship (JTWROS), or perhaps some other form (unlikely from what you've described, but not impossible).
You need a lawyer, either to help you with paying her and having her deed her interest in the property to you, or to help with some sort of arrangement for her to be paid upon sale of the house. Don't mention to her that you are getting a lawyer beforehand.
Where this could get really complicated is if you were putting more money into payments and expenses. She may own, on paper, more of the house than the two of you were planning at the time, and might decide to take action on that later. If that's the case, you need a lawyer even more.
not good with money, and is currently broke
If you want to pay her a lump sum you might be able to negotiate for a smaller amount (than what she's asked for, or than what her "fair share" would be thought to be if the property was sold). There's uncertainty as to how much any house will sell for and how long it will take, and the market could change before the house sells. As others have mentioned there is also some work involved in selling the house, as well as expenses, possibly a lot of expenses if a buyer asks for repairs. She might prefer a smaller amount now.
If you choose to sell the house while she is on the deed, make it a priority to continue to get along well enough to handle the business deal side of things. She'll need to sign at closing (or whatever the equivalent is in your state).
--
Find your closing package with the deed and title company documents, and get any other records you have in order, this will save some time and money with the lawyer.
If you are lucky enough to have a sympathetic relative with good credit and income, you might be able to get a loan with them cosigning. This is not without it's own complications.
(Not a lawyer)
posted by yohko at 12:21 PM on May 24, 2013
There may also be a difference in what happens depending on what form of ownership you have, tenants in common, joint tenancy with right of survivorship (JTWROS), or perhaps some other form (unlikely from what you've described, but not impossible).
You need a lawyer, either to help you with paying her and having her deed her interest in the property to you, or to help with some sort of arrangement for her to be paid upon sale of the house. Don't mention to her that you are getting a lawyer beforehand.
Where this could get really complicated is if you were putting more money into payments and expenses. She may own, on paper, more of the house than the two of you were planning at the time, and might decide to take action on that later. If that's the case, you need a lawyer even more.
not good with money, and is currently broke
If you want to pay her a lump sum you might be able to negotiate for a smaller amount (than what she's asked for, or than what her "fair share" would be thought to be if the property was sold). There's uncertainty as to how much any house will sell for and how long it will take, and the market could change before the house sells. As others have mentioned there is also some work involved in selling the house, as well as expenses, possibly a lot of expenses if a buyer asks for repairs. She might prefer a smaller amount now.
If you choose to sell the house while she is on the deed, make it a priority to continue to get along well enough to handle the business deal side of things. She'll need to sign at closing (or whatever the equivalent is in your state).
--
Find your closing package with the deed and title company documents, and get any other records you have in order, this will save some time and money with the lawyer.
If you are lucky enough to have a sympathetic relative with good credit and income, you might be able to get a loan with them cosigning. This is not without it's own complications.
(Not a lawyer)
posted by yohko at 12:21 PM on May 24, 2013
So I'd like to keep the house but do that I'll need to get her off the mortgage and off the deed.
I'd interpreted your question earlier as though you had said you wanted to get her off the mortgage and deed, and just noticed that isn't what you actually said.
Again, different states have different laws, but generally one party can't just force the other party to sell just because.
Someone above said "Your ex deserves repayment on her investment", but that's not really the situation with two people on a deed. She deserves what it says on the deed, that might give her the right to some of the rental income, or the right to live in the house if she chooses, or the right to help pay a huge tax bill, or the right to a share of proceeds upon sale of the house.
Wouldn't it be nice if people deserved repayment on investments in houses? Were that the case, no one would ever find their house was worth less than half of what was still owed on it. She didn't loan you this money personally, she used her money to buy part of a house, in a business partnership with the OP, and papers were signed saying things about people paying and owning things.
If you didn't put something in writing about what happened if you continued to be not married to each other, then there's no special clause for that.
OP, if you had $15,000 available to pay her it sounds like she would happily sell you her interest in the house for that amount. You don't have $15,000 and she doesn't have a flat out right to receive that amount, no matter what happened in your personal relationship.
If it's not financially feasable to get her off the mortgage and deed right now, these things happen OP. You not somehow cheating her if she doesn't get money right away. It sounds like you have put in a lot of effort to meet the entire mortgage payment and prevent the house from going into foreclosure, and if you had not done that she would not be likely to get any money from it at all! I think you've done a lot for her on a personal level by preserving her investment in this house.
It is possible that she could sell her half, but no one would buy half a house.
If the type of ownership the two of you have would allow her to sell her half, OH YES someone would buy half a house if she felt like selling it for a low enough price. This is a situation you probably want to avoid.
posted by yohko at 1:00 PM on May 24, 2013
I'd interpreted your question earlier as though you had said you wanted to get her off the mortgage and deed, and just noticed that isn't what you actually said.
Again, different states have different laws, but generally one party can't just force the other party to sell just because.
Someone above said "Your ex deserves repayment on her investment", but that's not really the situation with two people on a deed. She deserves what it says on the deed, that might give her the right to some of the rental income, or the right to live in the house if she chooses, or the right to help pay a huge tax bill, or the right to a share of proceeds upon sale of the house.
Wouldn't it be nice if people deserved repayment on investments in houses? Were that the case, no one would ever find their house was worth less than half of what was still owed on it. She didn't loan you this money personally, she used her money to buy part of a house, in a business partnership with the OP, and papers were signed saying things about people paying and owning things.
If you didn't put something in writing about what happened if you continued to be not married to each other, then there's no special clause for that.
OP, if you had $15,000 available to pay her it sounds like she would happily sell you her interest in the house for that amount. You don't have $15,000 and she doesn't have a flat out right to receive that amount, no matter what happened in your personal relationship.
If it's not financially feasable to get her off the mortgage and deed right now, these things happen OP. You not somehow cheating her if she doesn't get money right away. It sounds like you have put in a lot of effort to meet the entire mortgage payment and prevent the house from going into foreclosure, and if you had not done that she would not be likely to get any money from it at all! I think you've done a lot for her on a personal level by preserving her investment in this house.
It is possible that she could sell her half, but no one would buy half a house.
If the type of ownership the two of you have would allow her to sell her half, OH YES someone would buy half a house if she felt like selling it for a low enough price. This is a situation you probably want to avoid.
posted by yohko at 1:00 PM on May 24, 2013
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posted by These Birds of a Feather at 5:33 PM on May 22, 2013 [1 favorite]