Opting out of military recruitment

April 26, 2013 7:14 PM

The National Guard thinks I'm in high school and is sending me recruitment materials. I'm not in high school and I'm not going to join the military. Can I make them stop?

I'm ineligible to join the military because I'm transgender. I'm worried the recruitment efforts will escalate from letters to phone calls because they think I'm 18 and need money for college. I don't want an organization I'm banned from contacting me all the time and I don't want to have to disclose my trans status to get them to stop. Will writing "I am not interested" on one of the response cards work?

posted by anonymous to Grab Bag (11 answers total)

I got a phone call from military recruiters when I was 17 or so. (Not sure whether you are high school aged and getting attention that way, or older and there's some misunderstanding.)

My understanding from my teen years is that local recruiters call up virtually every teenager in the area, most likely getting names and contact info from schools or possibly your local school board or the like.

When the recruiter called me, I said, "No thanks, I'm actually going to be a theatre major and have no interest in the military." He tried to get me to stay on the phone, claiming that I could totally study theatre and be in the military, or that I would have a chance to do some kind of performance-related job in the military, which is obvious BS. I just got off the phone as quickly as I could without hanging up on him outright.

After that one phone call I was never contacted again. I'm pretty sure they just cross off the names of anyone who is clearly not interested, and that there are no ramifications for this down the road.

So just, I dunno, lie and say you're headed for Bryn Mawr for a degree in underwater basketweaving, and have no interest whatsoever in the military. Worked for me.

I would not say that you're not college bound, or that you don't know what you want to do, or that you're planning to pursue a trade, because that sounds like exactly the kind of person who has a strong chance of being recruited into the military.
posted by Sara C. at 7:21 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

Also, if you're not a teenager and are well past the "college vs. military vs. something else" phase in life, just tell them there's been some misunderstanding.
posted by Sara C. at 7:22 PM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

Ignore it. These are the DoD equivalent of robocalls -- they're as much as daring you to respond at all to confirm that you exist. If you get a call, tell the person that you're not interested and never will be. They have better things to do than convince people who tell them "No way at all."

I wasn't a recruiter, but I was in a Recruiting unit a lifetime or two ago. If you want, MeMail me and I can give you more specific info tailored to your situation.
posted by Etrigan at 7:37 PM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

If they call, you can tell them you are ineligible without saying why. There are a lot of things that disqualify you from military service, from seizure disorders to being married with more than two kids to being too old. Recruiters are under a lot of pressure to make quota and it is actually pretty tough to do that. If they aren't idiots, they don't want to waste time on something that will never pay off.
posted by Michele in California at 8:50 PM on April 26, 2013 [1 favorite]

The obvious thing is to call them and tell them that a) you're not 18, and b) you have absolutely no interest in joining the military, and that they should get you off their lists. You don't need to tell them anything else.

If you were in Canada, and looking for a line, I might suggest telling them that you have severe myopia, because (ironically enough) I actually was interested in joining the reserves up here when I was 18, but my glasses were too thick and I was deemed medically unfit to serve.

But it's really pointless when all you need to say is "please stop calling".
posted by jb at 9:04 PM on April 26, 2013

Is this in the U.S.? If this is in the U.S., I believe it would be effective just to tell them you are medically unfit for service. They will not insist on an exam because the sort of people who would lie about something like that will never serve voluntarily anyway.
posted by d. z. wang at 10:28 PM on April 26, 2013

"I'm not interested in helping kill people" worked remarkably well for me, and I was actually 18 and eligible.
posted by cmoj at 10:57 PM on April 26, 2013 [2 favorites]

you can just tell them you are not interested and ask them to take your name off their list.
posted by wildflower at 12:33 AM on April 27, 2013 [2 favorites]

I'd suggest you save the snark and drama and just let the NCO who's likely on a crummy 2-year recruiting tour that there's been some crossed wires, that you're not of recruitment age, and that you have other plans. Thank her/him, wish 'em luck, and go on with your life.
posted by Emperor SnooKloze at 12:33 AM on April 27, 2013 [5 favorites]

They will not insist on an exam because the sort of people who would lie about something like that will never serve voluntarily anyway.

Or because they can't insist on anything.
posted by lambdaphage at 1:59 PM on April 27, 2013 [1 favorite]

"I am medically ineligible to join the military. You wouldn't want me. Thanks for calling."
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:37 AM on April 28, 2013