We're at our wits' end with an anxious meowing cat. Help!
April 14, 2013 10:32 AM Subscribe
7 year old cat has been a nightmare since I moved about a year ago. He keeps us up all night, is destroying our rental bathroom, and won't stop meowing. We're running out of solutions. Help!
We have two cats, adopted together as kittens, both 7 years old. The male, Baxter, has always been difficult - he's fastidious about the litter box, cries for food and attention, etc. About a year ago I moved into a new apartment and he's gotten considerably worse:
- If the litter box is not completely 150% clean (we scoop it out daily and change it completely weekly), he poops on the floor right beside it. He also pees on the floor regularly.
- He meows constantly: in the middle of the night, when we're watching TV in the evening, in the early morning. A little food usually solves the meows for a few hours, though I know this is teaching him to meow for food. The only time he's not meowing is when he's sleeping. My boyfriend has to be at work at 3am during the week, so the weekends are his time to sleep in. The cat has been waking us up at 6am on weekends, even when he's been fed recently.
Things we've tried:
- Visits to two different vets and all of their recommendations.
- Multiple different kinds of litter - scented, unscented, wood, shredded, etc.
- Different styles of litter box - covered, uncovered.
- Anxiety medication. He took it for a month with no noticeable difference. The next vet we went to see said that she would've prescribed the same thing and same dosage and said it just must not have worked with his chemistry.
- Anti-anxiety collar. He licked all of the calming powder off of it within a few days, causing a sore on his neck.
- Electronic feeder that feeds him small amounts of dry food twice a day (early morning when boyfriend gets up for work and early evening before his wet food dinner). This worked wonders for the first few weeks, but now he's back to the excessive meowing about food.
- Calming treats. Worked for the first few weeks, but he seemed to get used to them and he got meowy again. Tried rotating out two different brands of treats, same thing.
- Giving him lots of love and attention. There's someone home everyday from early afternoon on, and he gets lots of love and cuddles.
- Waking him up during the day so he'll sleep at night. He goes right back to sleep.
- Playing with him to wear him out. He doesn't play. He will cuddle with and rub against toys, but won't chase anything. He has a scratching post that he loves, but he only bothers with it a few times a day.
We are at our wits' end. He's depriving everyone of sleep, making a mess of our rented bathroom, and causing problems between my boyfriend and I. I love this cat to death but I can't keep spending money on solutions that don't work and him ruining our time at home. Help!
We have two cats, adopted together as kittens, both 7 years old. The male, Baxter, has always been difficult - he's fastidious about the litter box, cries for food and attention, etc. About a year ago I moved into a new apartment and he's gotten considerably worse:
- If the litter box is not completely 150% clean (we scoop it out daily and change it completely weekly), he poops on the floor right beside it. He also pees on the floor regularly.
- He meows constantly: in the middle of the night, when we're watching TV in the evening, in the early morning. A little food usually solves the meows for a few hours, though I know this is teaching him to meow for food. The only time he's not meowing is when he's sleeping. My boyfriend has to be at work at 3am during the week, so the weekends are his time to sleep in. The cat has been waking us up at 6am on weekends, even when he's been fed recently.
Things we've tried:
- Visits to two different vets and all of their recommendations.
- Multiple different kinds of litter - scented, unscented, wood, shredded, etc.
- Different styles of litter box - covered, uncovered.
- Anxiety medication. He took it for a month with no noticeable difference. The next vet we went to see said that she would've prescribed the same thing and same dosage and said it just must not have worked with his chemistry.
- Anti-anxiety collar. He licked all of the calming powder off of it within a few days, causing a sore on his neck.
- Electronic feeder that feeds him small amounts of dry food twice a day (early morning when boyfriend gets up for work and early evening before his wet food dinner). This worked wonders for the first few weeks, but now he's back to the excessive meowing about food.
- Calming treats. Worked for the first few weeks, but he seemed to get used to them and he got meowy again. Tried rotating out two different brands of treats, same thing.
- Giving him lots of love and attention. There's someone home everyday from early afternoon on, and he gets lots of love and cuddles.
- Waking him up during the day so he'll sleep at night. He goes right back to sleep.
- Playing with him to wear him out. He doesn't play. He will cuddle with and rub against toys, but won't chase anything. He has a scratching post that he loves, but he only bothers with it a few times a day.
We are at our wits' end. He's depriving everyone of sleep, making a mess of our rented bathroom, and causing problems between my boyfriend and I. I love this cat to death but I can't keep spending money on solutions that don't work and him ruining our time at home. Help!
What was the anxiety medication? Our cat needed to take that for at least 4 months to get rid of some very difficult aggressive behavior. It was Elavil. I think you should either continue with the medication or try a different medication. It was a miracle for us (and our cat).
posted by DMelanogaster at 10:40 AM on April 14, 2013
posted by DMelanogaster at 10:40 AM on April 14, 2013
Seconding on Feliway (solved a major problem for us with one very, very violent cat) and trying a laser pointer for playing. For the Feliway I suggest the plug-in style, not the spray. And use more than you think you need. One in that bathroom, and then one or two (for sure - maybe more depending on the size of your space) throughout the home.
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:07 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:07 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
This only speaks to the sleeping issue, but we close our door and use a white noise machine. The anxious cat in our family might be out there meowing, but we can sleep. This only works if anxious cat won't destroy anything if you don't wake up immediately and has food, litter, etc.
Also: this is totally out of left field, but our anxious cat is deaf. She meows loudly and often because she can't hear herself and can't find us visually. You can test the hearing the same way as you do with an infant. Get behind the cat so he can't see you and snap or clap (being careful not to create movement or wind) and see if he turns his head to the sound. Not that knowing he's deaf will change anything, but it may give you some sense of the behavior's root.
posted by mrfuga0 at 11:11 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
Also: this is totally out of left field, but our anxious cat is deaf. She meows loudly and often because she can't hear herself and can't find us visually. You can test the hearing the same way as you do with an infant. Get behind the cat so he can't see you and snap or clap (being careful not to create movement or wind) and see if he turns his head to the sound. Not that knowing he's deaf will change anything, but it may give you some sense of the behavior's root.
posted by mrfuga0 at 11:11 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
Silly question and IANAV, but what did the vets say about his thyroid?
posted by tel3path at 11:15 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by tel3path at 11:15 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
Do they make thunder shirts in a cat size?
posted by kellyblah at 11:22 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by kellyblah at 11:22 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
If he's not overweight, leave him a bowl of grain-free diet kibble so he can eat whenever he wants.
posted by doreur at 11:30 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by doreur at 11:30 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
Echoing tel3path - we've had a couple cats that developed hyperthyroid and were just wound up all the time until treated. Definitely get him tested.
posted by leslies at 11:41 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by leslies at 11:41 AM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
(puts fingers in ears, anticipating prompt deletion of this comment) I don't mind being the asshole in this particular case. You've done everything you can, stay sane and get rid of this cat. You've got a life to live.
posted by ouke at 11:45 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
posted by ouke at 11:45 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]
A second litter box and free access to high quality grain free food, yeah. Fat is better than rehomed, and 2/3 of my cats have been free-fed and not overweight. (The third one is old and ill and to be honest we're glad he had the extra padding). If that doesn't do it, vets can prescribe Prozac for cats and it's reputedly effective. Anxiety doesn't have to have a reason - for those of us who have more than our share, anxiety is happy to latch onto any inconsequential trifle and worry it into an enormous thing. Fixing the vexing thing will only mollify the anxiety temporarily - it'll find a new hobby-horse to ride because the extra anxiety itself is the problem. When that is the case, Prozac can help. It's not a first line of defense but I'd say you're well beyond that.
For what it's worth, this is the best pee and poop cleaner I've ever encountered. It beats Nature's Miracle by a country mile. Kennel and rescue folks recommended it to me and it's been a life changer for us and for friends with old, ill, or otherwise messy critters. It'll de-stink your bathroom. It got cat pee out of raw wood when we were remodeling, the smell doesn't even come back on rainy days. The stuff is made of magic.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:12 PM on April 14, 2013 [6 favorites]
For what it's worth, this is the best pee and poop cleaner I've ever encountered. It beats Nature's Miracle by a country mile. Kennel and rescue folks recommended it to me and it's been a life changer for us and for friends with old, ill, or otherwise messy critters. It'll de-stink your bathroom. It got cat pee out of raw wood when we were remodeling, the smell doesn't even come back on rainy days. The stuff is made of magic.
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:12 PM on April 14, 2013 [6 favorites]
(And I don't have any stake in that business, it just was the difference between having an occasionally imperfect but manageable animal, and feeling awful because cleaning wasn't as effective as I wanted.)
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:18 PM on April 14, 2013
posted by Lou Stuells at 12:18 PM on April 14, 2013
I have always free-fed my cats dry food (high-quality, grain-free) and neither of them are overweight in the least. If it's really just food anxiety, it might be worth a shot.
posted by restless_nomad at 12:20 PM on April 14, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by restless_nomad at 12:20 PM on April 14, 2013 [3 favorites]
You've definitely got some options left to try before deciding this cat needs to be gotten rid of. From experience, I'd say the best of the mentioned solutions are:
- Feliway. Heard lots of success stories.
- Free access to kibble. Why on earth not? I've never had an overweight cat.
- Blood testing for thyroid trouble
FWIW, my cat had similar problems and it turned out to be his thyroid. Having it removed turned him into a healthier, calmer and happier cat.
He has had similar problems again recently; this time, it appears to be dementia. Then again, he's sixteen. This time around, Cholodin tablets (a food supplement) help a whole lot and he likes them so much he eats them as a treat.
So don't despair. There is a good chance you'll find a solution.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:27 PM on April 14, 2013
- Feliway. Heard lots of success stories.
- Free access to kibble. Why on earth not? I've never had an overweight cat.
- Blood testing for thyroid trouble
FWIW, my cat had similar problems and it turned out to be his thyroid. Having it removed turned him into a healthier, calmer and happier cat.
He has had similar problems again recently; this time, it appears to be dementia. Then again, he's sixteen. This time around, Cholodin tablets (a food supplement) help a whole lot and he likes them so much he eats them as a treat.
So don't despair. There is a good chance you'll find a solution.
posted by Too-Ticky at 12:27 PM on April 14, 2013
May sound "woo" but our vet recommended Bach flower remedy when we were moving with our cats. Just a spray on their lips. I tried it and they were calm for two hours in the car.
Also, watch for any little red spots on the floor with the pee. Ours had to be treated twice for bladder infections, which can cause pain and yowling. Maybe he's got a crystal? We switched to an organic chicken based dry food and only chicken wet food, never, ever, ever any tuna, which apparently causes bad things to happen with male cats and bladders.
I feel for you: we were gone all day yesterday and came home to a poop nugget on the bathroom floor, one in the sink, and more pee outside the litter box.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 12:44 PM on April 14, 2013
Also, watch for any little red spots on the floor with the pee. Ours had to be treated twice for bladder infections, which can cause pain and yowling. Maybe he's got a crystal? We switched to an organic chicken based dry food and only chicken wet food, never, ever, ever any tuna, which apparently causes bad things to happen with male cats and bladders.
I feel for you: we were gone all day yesterday and came home to a poop nugget on the bathroom floor, one in the sink, and more pee outside the litter box.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 12:44 PM on April 14, 2013
Our elderly cat lost his hearing rather suddenly, and went from an exceptionally quiet cat to a yowl you wouldn't believe. Sounds like a person being tortured, a very loud person. It seems unlikely you wouldn't have noticed hearing loss in your cat, but it's certainly worth an experiment. (As for our situation, the yowl isn't all the time, and the cat is almost 19 years old, so we just go where he can see us in the day, and bury our heads in the pillow at night.)
posted by kestralwing at 12:47 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
posted by kestralwing at 12:47 PM on April 14, 2013 [1 favorite]
We have a cat with high anxiety about food. What worked for us was switching to high protein kibble and three feedings a day. The high protein stuff seems to make her feel more full so she's not as obsessed about her next feeding. She gets half a small can of wet food with lots of water in it, and two servings of kibble. Just be careful if you switch, she was eating about a 1/2 cup of kibble on the old stuff we were giving her but she only gets a tablespoon twice a day on the high protein. We use the Orijen brand.
We are also really careful not to feed the cats until at least a half hour after we are up so that they don't wake us to be fed. She still will occasionally wake us in the morning and when we go away she is very anxious and we usually have to go through a week or two of lots of meowing before she calms down again. Good luck!
posted by sadtomato at 12:50 PM on April 14, 2013
We are also really careful not to feed the cats until at least a half hour after we are up so that they don't wake us to be fed. She still will occasionally wake us in the morning and when we go away she is very anxious and we usually have to go through a week or two of lots of meowing before she calms down again. Good luck!
posted by sadtomato at 12:50 PM on April 14, 2013
Yes, thundershirts come in cat sizes. But I would try a simple diet change first: Your cat needs wet food every day. Cats are obligate carnivores, which means their bodies are optimized for metabolizing meat. ie, canned food, not dry kibble, which studies have shown can contribute to diseases such as diabetes.
I've heard of cats raised on dry who won't switch to canned, but its probably more likely that your cat would be happier and healthier eating at least some wet food every day.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 12:57 PM on April 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
I've heard of cats raised on dry who won't switch to canned, but its probably more likely that your cat would be happier and healthier eating at least some wet food every day.
posted by ImproviseOrDie at 12:57 PM on April 14, 2013 [2 favorites]
Treat balls that release kibble slowly when played with? They sell them, but you can make your own with a plastic easter egg and cutting a kibble-sized hole in the plastic.
posted by The otter lady at 2:24 PM on April 14, 2013
posted by The otter lady at 2:24 PM on April 14, 2013
Wet food is definitely better for kitties, it's true. But don't do like I did years ago, and get into a grudge match with the kitty about what he'll eat. My guy refused to eat it and stubborned himself into a case of fatty liver disease, which is not good at all (he's 16 now with substandard kidneys, but no lasting damage from the liver issue.)
We had wet food kept out for our other cat - he couldn't eat dry - but he also chewed/swallowed inappropriate things if he didn't have food available. Leaving wet food out all day is fine, if it's in portions that will get your guy through the day until you put down fresh. Just, you know, not in the sun or on a heating vent.
posted by Lou Stuells at 2:25 PM on April 14, 2013
We had wet food kept out for our other cat - he couldn't eat dry - but he also chewed/swallowed inappropriate things if he didn't have food available. Leaving wet food out all day is fine, if it's in portions that will get your guy through the day until you put down fresh. Just, you know, not in the sun or on a heating vent.
posted by Lou Stuells at 2:25 PM on April 14, 2013
Feliway! Not the kind you plug in; get the spray bottle kind.
posted by oceanjesse at 3:41 PM on April 14, 2013
posted by oceanjesse at 3:41 PM on April 14, 2013
Nthing Feliway + switch to wet food only. Both of these made a HUGE difference for my cat. I feed my cat wet food twice per day, and he went from being a grazer who was never satisfied, frequently agitated, and a bit overweight to a happier being who eats his portions within a short time of being served, and only cries for food when it's around the usual time I feed him.
Also get a furminator and comb him instead of giving food treats to distract him when he cries--my cat loves being brushed and a few minutes brushing shifts his focus and also keeps the house less hairy.
Also, as ouke says, you do have permission to rehome this cat if he is really being impossible and you have tried as hard as you can to make him happy.
posted by gubenuj at 4:03 PM on April 14, 2013
Also get a furminator and comb him instead of giving food treats to distract him when he cries--my cat loves being brushed and a few minutes brushing shifts his focus and also keeps the house less hairy.
Also, as ouke says, you do have permission to rehome this cat if he is really being impossible and you have tried as hard as you can to make him happy.
posted by gubenuj at 4:03 PM on April 14, 2013
I also agree that it might be the food. There could be some kind of minor protein or nutrient deficiency that has built up over time, and with the move it poked him into an anxiety disorder.
I would let them have some delicious chicken breast and tunafish as a weekly treat, and maybe try again with the anxiety medication. Maybe something more like cat-prozac or cat-valium.
posted by gjc at 7:51 PM on April 14, 2013
I would let them have some delicious chicken breast and tunafish as a weekly treat, and maybe try again with the anxiety medication. Maybe something more like cat-prozac or cat-valium.
posted by gjc at 7:51 PM on April 14, 2013
One of our cats had a similar issue. Feeding twice a day was not enough. If you already have the auto-feeder, you could try setting it for more like 4 times per day. We did this and for the first week or two he still meowed, like out of habit. Then he just slowly realized he was getting enough food and now, no more crazy meowing cat.
Also do you observe him eating? Part of the problem in our case was that we would watch the 2 cats start to eat and the meowy cat always started to feast first and pushed the other cat away. But if we watched the whole feeding, or monitored them with our Cat Cam, we found that the meowy cat would give up after 2 or 3 minutes and leave the majority of the food for the other cat, who would chow down until it was all gone (I assume some of the other posters have never had a really food motivated cat. They can get extremely fat and also get insulin dependent diabetes. Definitely not good).
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:51 PM on April 14, 2013
Also do you observe him eating? Part of the problem in our case was that we would watch the 2 cats start to eat and the meowy cat always started to feast first and pushed the other cat away. But if we watched the whole feeding, or monitored them with our Cat Cam, we found that the meowy cat would give up after 2 or 3 minutes and leave the majority of the food for the other cat, who would chow down until it was all gone (I assume some of the other posters have never had a really food motivated cat. They can get extremely fat and also get insulin dependent diabetes. Definitely not good).
posted by treehorn+bunny at 7:51 PM on April 14, 2013
You should apply to be on My Cat From Hell.
posted by theuninvitedguest at 10:32 PM on April 14, 2013
posted by theuninvitedguest at 10:32 PM on April 14, 2013
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2. Feliway scent diffusers
3. Playing - have you tried laser pointers?
4. Anxiety medicine often takes over a month to totally kick in. I'd try it for a longer period or a different type of medicine.
5. Keep him out of the bedroom, and get a white noise machine inside your bedroom door, so your boyfriend can sleep in.
posted by barnone at 10:38 AM on April 14, 2013 [5 favorites]