How do I organize my life and surroundings
March 25, 2013 1:45 PM Subscribe
I lack basic skills to manage a normal day. I have no structure at all and want to be able to get by in life. I am a chronic mess maker and lose much of everything, so I want to learn life skills to be able to live normally.
posted by wholecornandsalt to health & fitness (25 answers total) 37 users marked this as a favorite
I notice that what often helps me is someone with a domineering and "in-action" personality who makes me do things and really persists. I know it's my fault, but my mother is probably an enabler. I can get too comfortable with that. Sometimes I wish she'd give me ultimatums or force me to do things. She's only had a couple, temporary jobs since I've been around her and is pretty lazy herself, so I never got a good work ethic influence, and she never pressured me at all into anything like doing homework. She hardly cleans either and can't be bothered to do much. (And I'm not like an adult baby. I mean, I cook all my own food and her food often and can do laundry and stuff.)I'm sure there's people you can pay to do these things, but I can't afford some kind of life coach.
Anyway, every room that I've had, whether big or small, has turned almost into what a hoarder's home looks like. Things pile up seemingly out of nowhere, and I try and clean, but it gets messy again. I need to be cleaner. I need to not lose everything, like I have with homework all my life. I've always had messy bags and binders and generally couldn't manage to hold on to anything. I sleep on piles of stuff currently, and it all falls behind my bed. People in my house get mad at me for making messes.
I need to sleep normally. I end up sleeping in the day often. Some of it is caused partially by lack of motivation and feeling like there's nothing else to do. It's often hard to get out of bed, and I don't have any friends here, but it's also structural problems.
I recently failed a number of classes this past year at college, and I'm planning to leave now. I also messed up high school in ways I won't get into, but it ties into the organizational stuff, not going out as a consequence of that stuff + procrastination, and the inability to stomach the thought of sitting through classes seven hours straight.
I put things off that are really important to get done. I forget and then when I remember, it's too late in the day, and it repeats. I made a lot of progress in the past year with exposure. I almost have my license. I mean, I quickly drove without fear, but I've yet to get my license after a year even though I can get it at any time. And all of my driving instructors said I drive too fast, and everyone gets scared with me driving "like a manic" in my mother's words, so I don't want to waste the money until I refine it. Plus, I have anxiety about calling and dealing with people. It makes my heart race to even order food on the phone. I want a job very badly and would love the structure involved and just having something to do, but I get nervous to even think about applying in person and with no experience.
I don't know if I have tourettes. I jump around and get really hyper like a little kid, even now. I have tics too. It affects my life enough. And I can get really depressed easily and lie in bed, not going to classes because I feel like a disappointment or something..or my work is not up to par..and just do not want to do anything. I want a busy, active life that's interesting. I do need plenty of time to regroup though. I need to sit in a dark room and just think or lie there for hours.
I'm trying to get a therapist again, but I need a referral and to wait a while with my insurance.
Okay, so what I'm asking for are life hacks and organizational tips I guess, that go outside of the basic "to-do list" recommendations because that does not help me. I can't even finish to-do lists. I could try other forms of lists if they are effective enough. I do think I need a schedule though to remind me to do basic things like taking a shower.