I'll just start sleeping with my shotgun then...
March 13, 2013 7:49 PM Subscribe
Boyfriend wants to help lifelong thief friend without becoming a victim.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (34 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I live with my boyfriend, who I'll call “Sig.” Sig (30 years old) as a lifelong friend who I'll call “Rob.” Rob (40 years old) is a convicted thief. He was sent to jail and was released many years ago. He was charged with breaking and entering into a business and stealing some minor objects. He has not stolen anything (that we know of) since then.
Rob moved to the other side of the country and has been communicating with Sig over the internet and through an online game for five years since then.
In the last week, Rob was fired from the hotel that he worked at for stealing a small some of money. He started looking for a new job and had a few interviews, then seemingly out of nowhere he decided to seek vengeance by breaking into the hotel and stealing their computer. He used a key that he had, snatched the item, and stored it at his home. The hotel staff saw his car and asked for the items to be returned, which he did. The hotel threatened to press charges, and Rob responded by fleeing the state. The hotel eventually decided not to press charges (or so we have heard third hand).
Rob is now on his way back to our state to move in with his sister. He has asked to stay at our place until the room that his sister has prepared for him is ready. I swung my boundaries hammer at that suggestion and insisted that not only is he not to stay at our place, but is not to be told where we live, as I'm home alone some days and don't trust the way Rob seems to escalate situations when he feels desperate (which is my analysis of the hotel incident) .We discussed this, and Sig has agreed not to tell Rob anything about our home, however, he would still like to help his friend.
I have never met Rob in person, and quite frankly, am very quick to vanquish untrustworthy people from my life, so I am a very poor person to suggest ways in which he could Rob. I'm trying to avoid judging their lifelong friendship while still making sure that my safety is preserved. Thus, I beg for the wisdom of the hive mind:
1) Sig has agreed to give Rob $20 to help him in getting a hotel. Rob was given $200 by his parents, so the total sum should be enough to help Rob until his sister is ready. Is this advisable, or are there any dangers in doing this that we may not be aware of?
2) Is there anything else that Sig can do to help Rob that would be useful yet not put us in any danger?