LDR or not?
March 13, 2013 12:17 AM Subscribe
5yr relationship relationship about to embark on potential 2 years or longer LDR
posted by Trinergy to human relations (22 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I will try to keep this concise.
Let me keep this short and simple. I've basically been seeing this girl since high school and we had dated for 4 years before our initial break-up over a long-distance relationship when she was doing an exchange program. When she came back, the spark was still there and we decided to give it another shot. We are both 22 years old and still have undecided futures. All I know is that I am going to be backpacking right now for 3 months in Southeast Asia and then potentially going for another 2 years to teach English in Japan while she will be doing her masters in Canada at that time as well.
We will now be together for 5 years and are at the start of our LDR. I am just afraid of it not working out again because we don't seem to have a definite tangible end-point to where this LDR stops. But because of the previous break-up and reunion, she is really determined to make it work and seems to be set to want to marry me.
I just don't really know how to gauge all of this because we are still young and at a point in our lives where we can't really be sure of where we'll be. Furthermore, I feel like we have a really strong connection, but I also feel like she has a lot of personal maturation to do in terms of managing her own emotions. She's not necessarily bipolar but goes through emotional rollercoasters. I had always been there for her and we always got along and rarely fought in spite of it, they were just personal issues that I sometimes needed to coach her through. Now I am just afraid of the steps we will be taking and would love to have some opinions about this.
I basically can't decide because on one side I feel like I've never really connected with someone at this level, but on the other side I feel like we both haven't matured to a point where we can really say what we want. I feel like in order for me to be 100% about an LDR, i need to basically feel like there's a tangible ending and also for me to be sure that this person's the one. But as of now it's all quite ambiguous so I'm not too sure of what steps to take. I feel like we've known each other for so long that we're practically a part of each other and even if we break up we'd still remain really good friends.