Going to a party when one of the guests is someone you can't stand?
March 12, 2013 8:32 PM Subscribe
My friend is having a birthday party and invited me. I love the guy, he's one of my good friends so was happy to go. Then I found out that he also invited one of his other friends who I cannot stand - the friend is very rude, sarcastic and condescending, and we got into a bit of a verbal spat last time we met. I am scared to death of conflict, and am debating on whether or not to go. How to cope?
posted by anonymous to human relations (30 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I am very conflict-averse, and have an anxiety disorder (Mostly social). I had a rather dysfunctional upbringing with a lot of yelling, and even now tend to get scared and nervous when something that seems like a conflict might break out. I also tend to keep my negative emotions hidden until they suddenly flare up and get out of control. So the potential of an altercation occurring makes me nervous.
The friend-of-a-friend is the type to say small snide remarks (which tend to grow more assholish the more he drinks). I cannot imagine that he will not say something, which will be almost impossible to ignore since this will be a rather small house party.
Like I said, I am very conflict-averse, so I am wondering if I am blowing this out of proportion, and should bite the bullet and attend the party. I hate to think that one person would be keeping me away from my friend's party, but I also don't want to have a shitty time like last time I met this guy. I don't think my friend will moderate in any way. I would appreciate any ideas/advice on whether or not to go, and how to handle myself if I do.