The Gopher Menace

September 7, 2005 10:23 AM

Damn you gophers! Damn you straight to hell! How do I get rid of gophers without digging up my yard?

I've just replanted my front yard and I have a gopher (or a gang of gopher ne'er-do-wells) eating my plants. A feather grass plant was totally sucked into the ground, like on a cartoon. I'd like to drive the little pests away without killing them. Maybe gently suggesting that my neighbors down the street would welcome some rodent visitors... I've seen some vibrating spike products that you bury in the ground. Do these work? Do I have to get all medieval on their gopher butts?

posted by Kafkaesque to home & garden (20 comments total)

First, take plastic explosive. Fashion a Mr. Rabbit, a Mr. Squirrel...

Well, really, what I've done is simply get a large dog. My dog loves chasing little furry things. She never seems to catch them, but she looks pretty fierce with her ears back, straining at the leash.

The funny thing is, she's managed to scare the gophers, but only into the neighbor's yard. The gopher damage stops right at our property line.
posted by thanotopsis at 10:33 AM on September 7, 2005

Do you have a gopher hole in your yard? If so, you can flush them out by flooding their warren. My mom would do that, and it kept them out of the yard. She stuck a hose down one of the holes and left the water running for several hours. (warning...may lead to high water bills)

I don't know how extensive their tunnel system was (all our neighbors had gopher holes in their yards, and I don't know if all these holes connected the same warren or if they were several warrens) but she must have collapsed the tunnels in our yard because we didn't see any new holes in the yard after that nor have any more damage to the garden.

I only saw one gopher actually get flushed OUT of the warren (and it was alive, if a bit startled).
posted by luneray at 11:16 AM on September 7, 2005

If you're prepared to be violent, and willing to spend money ($1890), this device seems to work.

...of course, if you don't have a lot of land to clear, maybe just hiring someone who owns one would suffice.
posted by aramaic at 11:21 AM on September 7, 2005

If you see their holes douse liberally with ammonia, several gallons at a time if the hole will accept it. I tried moth balls and hot red pepper with zero effect, but the ammonia really seemed to drive them away. There are sprays available at the nursery that sometimes work and sometimes don't. Your best bet is to buy plants they don't like as much. The nursery will know.
posted by caddis at 11:30 AM on September 7, 2005

My dad back in the day had the same problem. He didn't want to kill them, but nothing worked. He tried some repellent pellets and flooding them out with water, but they always came back.

The only thing that worked was what we called a mole or gropher trap. Its not the most humane way to do it (since it kills them) but is very effective. Here is a picture of a trap.
posted by gus at 11:32 AM on September 7, 2005

Jeez it's just an airpump, a propane tank and a spark. I'll make one for ya for $500.
posted by phearlez at 11:32 AM on September 7, 2005

Maine Coon cats are very diligent when it comes to cleaning out a yard. Ours cleaned out the mice, then the chipmunks, then the rabbits, scared the squirrels to death and faced off against a woodchuck. We banished him to the inside fearing he'd graduate to raccoons. Gophers, meh, he would have finished them off before the rabbits.
posted by Ber at 11:33 AM on September 7, 2005

Are you positive it's gophers and not moles?

If it's moles, they're there because you have a grub problem; kill the grubs, and the moles go away.
posted by Merdryn at 11:36 AM on September 7, 2005

We gave up and planted everything in pots (buried in the ground) or made beds with wood on the sides and the bottom lined with wire mesh (I used aviary wire, chicken wire is too big, others like hardware cloth. My boss had his whole yard resodded over hardware cloth.
posted by 445supermag at 11:38 AM on September 7, 2005

Leave out dishes of cola by their holes. Gophers cannot burp.
posted by glenwood at 11:44 AM on September 7, 2005

Cats. Ever read the "Little House on the Prarie" book (#5 or #6, I think) where their cat Kitty protects the corn harvest by kiling the gophers, piles them by the door of the house as presents for the Ingalls family, and Ma bakes them all a gopher pie?
posted by Asparagirl at 12:15 PM on September 7, 2005

Ever read the "Little House on the Prarie" book (#5 or #6, I think) where their cat Kitty protects the corn harvest by kiling the gophers, piles them by the door of the house as presents for the Ingalls family, and Ma bakes them all a gopher pie?

Is that before or after that blonde girl kicks them all in the shins, burns down their house, and then dances on their grave?

Man, I hated that blonde girl.
posted by thanotopsis at 12:23 PM on September 7, 2005

Kitty and the gophers would be in Little Town on the Prairie, #7 if you count Farmer Boy (which I do).
posted by redfoxtail at 12:50 PM on September 7, 2005

Dude, haven't you seen Caddyshack?
posted by LarryC at 1:46 PM on September 7, 2005

I've heard of putting lye in the holes > it sticks to their feet > burns > they lick it off > no more gophers
posted by muddylemon at 2:10 PM on September 7, 2005

How do you know they are gophers? Moles and gophers and squirrels leave different signs. One gopher can create half an acre of sign, literally dozens of holes. My acreage has a few, and I'm always amazed how killing one suddenly clears up a huge portion of the property. I can tell you that smoke, poison, chemicals, etc. are worthless. You have to do the difficult work of finding fresh holes, finding their travelling tunnel deep underground (up to 2 or 3 feet), and setting two traps pointing down both directions. This has never failed me.

Email me and I can probably send a link of the type of trap I use. I keep about a dozen.
posted by docpops at 2:48 PM on September 7, 2005

Also, I don't like to kill any animal, but I make a special exception for gophers. My heart swells at the site of one of these fuckers caught in a trap.
posted by docpops at 2:50 PM on September 7, 2005

fill holes with moth balls.
posted by johnj at 5:17 PM on September 7, 2005

Use a big vacuum cleaner.
posted by Wet Spot at 6:02 PM on September 7, 2005

So, did any of this advice help?

I've got one of those vibrating thingies you bury in the yard and its supposed to drive them away, I think it just gives them better rhythm because there are more than ever now.

And I've got a big dog who shreds the ground trying to get at them but they don't go away.

I'm all too tempted to get a pellet gun and murder the buggers everytime they pop their heads up.
posted by fenriq at 3:21 PM on October 5, 2005