Is it reasonable to want my money back?
March 12, 2013 11:19 AM Subscribe
My ex-partner owes me about two grand. Should I walk away from it?
posted by Pomo to human relations (38 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
We split on poor terms a couple years ago because Partner became infatuated with another person and wouldn't cut off contact, so I left. However, we kept in reasonably frequent contact and now chat by text or email every month or two. I don't think Partner is a bad person and don't want the money out of vindication.
However, I don't see why I should have to eat such a sum, when I was the wronged party here. During our relationship I paid for all household expenses besides rent, which was split, and did all of the cleaning and day-to-day house running that becomes necessary when two people live together. I did this because I loved Partner and because Partner's income was far less than mine and because Partner was horrible at managing life's little to-dos so I picked up the slack. I am NOT trying to get back any of the money I paid over that two years of cohabitation for household expenses, dinners out, etc. I'm just looking for the amount that I explicitly loaned to help Partner with personal debt.
The twist is that while Partner acknowledges the debt and in theory intends to pay, Partner has been off work for over a year and is not making any real efforts to find a new job. I see from Facebook that Partner is still enjoying an active social life with vacations, nights on the town, and such, so it seems unfair that some of that money (wherever it's coming from) can't go back to me.
I make more than enough to be comfortable. Two thousand dollars does not make a dent in my financial situation. Nevertheless, I would rather have it back!
Is this reasonable? How do I push it without seeming like a jerk? Should I at least wait til Partner finds some gainful employment? Ask Partner to get a loan from his family to square away my debt?