What should I do about gossiping and emotionally abusive friends?
March 10, 2013 6:07 PM Subscribe
This might qualify as a rant, so I apologize if it is.
Recently I have realized I am at my wits' end regarding my friends. I do not think that they mean to do so, but quite often they belittle me. When I have tried to approach a few of them regarding it, it ends up being my fault. I just don't think I can handle them anymore. Advice?
posted by xShinigamiEyesx to human relations (17 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
I am the president of a small club devoted to game design at my university. I replaced the previous president who wasn't able to fulfill his duties due to personal issues. However, I found out upon his return that he has basically gossiped about me since returning in an attempt to campaign against me. Part of me suspects it killed the morale in the club (since I was the big "dummy" to many people after hearing the "enlightened opinion" of someone who never attended a meeting).
The other part that stinks is that I told people that they could approach me if they had an issue with me. This person was supposed to be a friend, but I have found that he has started to dominate my own projects with other people. I think I am going to kick him to the curb.
I also have friends who belittle me in front of others. One of my friends said I was trying to be untrue to who I was simply because I went outside to get fresh air ("geeks don't need to be outside to win other people's approval"). He proceeded to tell other people this even though I knew it wasn't true. Recently, he criticized me for getting a B in a computer science class (which I received due to personal issues, not because I didn't know the material), makes fun of me for being an Honors student, and even said I don't have a "real skill" in front of bunch of our other mutual friends.
I don't think any of this stuff is malicious, but it is start to seriously wear on me and I think my friends are immature. Therefore, I am thinking of kicking them (and several other similar friends) to the curb. The whole incident has helped me realize in the end that I am better off working alone. And while these examples aren't all that has occurred, they are representative of the types of relationships I have had with them.
In the end, it is particularly difficult since I won't have many friends if I cut them from my social network. But I don't think I can bear them anymore.
Thoughts? Thanks for reading my post.