Do you ever get tired of texting all the time?

March 8, 2013 8:38 PM

Do you ever get tired of texting friends/the person you're dating everyday?

Me and my guy friend were texting everyday/every other day but lately i've just ran out of things to say and find it to be boring. I'd much rather talk in person or just text when i have something i want to tell him or if we're making plans.

Maybe it's my age (i'm 25) but how do people text that much everyday for hours?

posted by earthquakeglue to grab bag (21 answers total)

It's a personal preference. I absolutely love staying in contact with people every day, particularly with a boyfriend (makes me feel loved, connnected, and thought of). I also prefer expressing myself through text than I do over the phone or even in person. Sometimes I do run out of stuff to say and yeah, it can become tiresome if excessive. It's normal either way I think.


(Also 25 and female)
posted by These Birds of a Feather at 8:42 PM on March 8 [2 favorites]

I hate constant texting. If I'm dating someone new, I make it clear that I don't like all day back and forth texting. If it's a friend, they'll figure it out. Just don't respond, or take a while to respond, or respond and say that you're busy and you'll catch them later.

I really don't understand conversational texting beyond a few one liners here and there. I'm either at work and busy, or I'm at home and I don't want to be tethered to my cell. (I'm also 25 and female, if that helps put things into perspective).

I see that you're a woman and you're texting with guys, and while I know that it's totally possible to have platonic dude friends as a lady, it's possible that you are filling their "texting with a girl" social need or whatever. Some guys like to carry on phone flirtations. I think it's weird, but whatever.
posted by ablazingsaddle at 8:46 PM on March 8 [2 favorites]

No, because I don't text. It's too distracting from what I want to be doing.
posted by brianogilvie at 8:52 PM on March 8 [1 favorite]

You know you can use your phone to make a voice call and have an actual conversation, right?

Given the voice quality on many mobile phones today you can't really, at least not very effectively.
posted by grouse at 8:54 PM on March 8 [4 favorites]

So true, grouse. Ugh, I hate it.

I text moderately, but sometimes get really tired of it and get pretty terse and like "we can talk about it later!! :)" Idk, I think there might be a little extroversion at play, I personally don't want to talk about things all the time or think of responses even with someone I really care about. But sometimes I'm in the mood to text for a few hours.
posted by stoneandstar at 9:01 PM on March 8

This seems like personal preference to me. That said, I get tired of it! It's not for me at all. With friends, I just set a pattern of not responding right away and people figure it out. I've had guys do the "social need to text with a girl" thing and it makes no sense.

The worst are repeated "How are you?" texts that make me want to bash the phone into a wall--what kind of response are you supposed to make to that day after day? If we can talk about funny things or keep the dialogue going in another way, that's all right. The manner of the text is more important for me. If it's inane but rare, I will still get annoyed. (Maybe I should work on that.)

26, F.
posted by ramenopres at 9:11 PM on March 8 [1 favorite]

I (27 and female) like occasional texts when something reminds me of someone, or vice versa. Sometimes texts are all right for coordinating logistics. But in general I find texting extremely tedious and would much rather talk in person, via phone, or email. Of course, this may be in part because I stubbornly refuse to get a smartphone.
posted by mlle valentine at 9:13 PM on March 8

I think texting is preferable when I want to just chat in a casual way with a friend/person I'm dating, because a call sort of demands immediate response and interaction, whereas a text is ignoreable until a person can text back at their convenience. I don't like the feeling of obligation with any kind of communication, personally.
posted by so_gracefully at 9:37 PM on March 8 [5 favorites]

I don't have text conversations. It just doesn't interest me at all. I use text for immediate communication that doesn't require a response, i.e. running late. I would never have a full conversation over text message.
posted by 26.2 at 9:57 PM on March 8 [1 favorite]

Early twenties guy - I hate it when my thumbs hurt. There are so many things I could use my thumbs for besides slowly talking quickly.
posted by oceanjesse at 10:34 PM on March 8 [1 favorite]

I used to like texting, but ever since smartphones got big, I've found it increasingly annoying. I'll get something like seven texts in quick succession from someone who doesn't realize that with a normal phone it takes me significantly longer to respond.
posted by threeants at 11:05 PM on March 8

I've not tried it for /hours/, but on my Lumia 920, I can type really, really fast. It lets me compose blogposts on the bus, for example, without any wrist tension. It also learns phrases that I tend to use, so I sometimes get to skip typing for whole words. I used to think that my slideout keyboard was as good as it could get, but touchscreen typing can be much faster, with less physical effort.

In short, hardware and software probably matter a lot.

I think one way that some people prevent drawn-out SMS conversations from happening is to respond to the first message, and no others.
posted by batter_my_heart at 11:12 PM on March 8

I would need to knaw a limb off if someone wanted me to have a text conversation for hours. I mainly text if I want to ask or tell someone a short piece of info ("what time are you coming" and things like that). If I am going to need to write more than two or three sentences I just call the person.
posted by cairdeas at 11:14 PM on March 8

lately i've just ran out of things to say and find it to be boring. I'd much rather talk in person

What would you have to say in person if you've run out of things to say?

There are two separate, but intertwined, issues going on. One, you're not a big text conversationalist. That's just a personal preference. I'm 30 and I prefer talking via text (whether that's text message or IM or email, etc. doesn't matter a whole lot to me). You don't and that's okay. Ask if your friend wants to hang out, or has time for a call. Two, you're running out of things to say or just not finding the conversation very interesting anymore. That can happen in person too. As with any other conversation, let it die down until you find you have something to talk about. There's no reason the conversation needs to continue as it currently is.
posted by asciident at 11:22 PM on March 8

It's really down to individual preference, but husband and I have known each other for eight years, married for six, and we IM all goddamn day when we're at work. Usually just "hay look at this link" or "did you hear about x" etc (not like, serious stuff).
posted by agress at 5:37 AM on March 9

I've found that my tolerance for conversation depends on the person more than the medium. If it's someone I really enjoy chatting with, we can text, IM, or email for hours just as freely as we would talk in person or on the phone; if it's someone I'm not quite as talkative around, the conversation fades whether it's written or spoken. Not many people can carry on a conversation all day every day, so perhaps it's just general conversation fatigue on your part. Doesn't mean you guys aren't compatible; it's totally normal.
posted by Metroid Baby at 7:03 AM on March 9

Get busy and draw boundaries.

I had a guy friend who wanted to have vapid conversations via text; I had to lay down the law about "I like you just fine, but don't like to 'chat' about nothing on any medium"

With other people I'm the more agressive party, doing most of the reaching out, but even then, it's one or two quick things, unlikely leading to a conversation.

Don't feel bad saying "I'm doing other stuff right now, but look forward to seeing you/chatting with you at X time in the future"
posted by itesser at 7:28 AM on March 9

In general, I don't need to talk to anyone every single day for long periods of time, and that includes my boyfriend. The medium is irrelevant.

(I just turned 30 and I'm female.)
posted by sm1tten at 9:11 AM on March 9 [2 favorites]

Yes I do get tired of texting. Some people want to text long conversations. I like texting for short conversations, when an answer is not needed immediately, or when I couldn't hear you if I called you, as in a bar or club.

For a large information exchange, best initiate a call or meet in person.
posted by cman at 9:24 AM on March 9

Was just thinking that I'd like texting a lot more if I didn't have a touchscreen keyboard. I'm a fast typist and a fast texter but texting is just too too slow.
posted by stoneandstar at 11:12 AM on March 9

What smitten said.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 6:18 PM on March 9