How do I let my new partner down easy that I may not be able to do all the breath play and choking she might want?
I'm a male and new dominant in a very new hetero relationship which includes BDSM. My sub female partner has expressed a strong interest in choking. It sounds like she may have done it with some partners in the past. I've done some reading tonight on the risks and, the more reading I do, the more frightened I am. I've got very little experience as a dom, and what I've read suggests to me that even the most experienced can never do this, or most kinds of breath play, safely. I've seen this past post
, and that's pretty clear on the dangers too.
I want to be respectful of this partner's interest, and she's someone I definitely want to keep in my life. Everything else about the D/s side of our relationship has been wonderful - I feel like this whole new world is opening up to me, and I've barely even dipped my toes in it. How do I have a respectful, two-way conversation with her where I make clear what I can do, what I might be able to do once I'm more experienced, and what I can never do - without disappointing her too badly and without making it sound like I'm slut shaming or worse?
Additionally, I've found a ton of resources on "the controversy" in the BDSM community surrounding breath play: much of it seems contradictory, none of it feels like stuff I can trust or the basis of a good conversation. Any recommended resources?