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Online discussion forums for BDSM?
February 27, 2013 7:35 PM   Subscribe

I'm looking for websites that have discussion-areas for people who are into BDSM.

I'm a straight male in my 30's, and I recently "came out" internally and realized that I'm into BDSM. I am wondering if anyone can recommend any websites that have discussion forums for BDSM and sexual fetish.

I'm sure there are many out there, but I'd like to find one that is reputable. And, I don't want a site that has any pornography. (That's why I'm not going to just do a Google search...) I'm looking for a site that is reasonably discrete and isn't going to infect my computer or display pop-up ads or anything like that. (This is the same computer that I use when I'm at work.)

I've benefitted from reading the discussions on metafilter about the BDSM lifestyle and the various issues affecting people who are into BDSM. I basically just want more of the same.

Any suggestions are much appreciated.
posted by anonymous to Society & Culture (6 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Fetlife.
posted by ootandaboot at 7:39 PM on February 27, 2013 [6 favorites]


Clarisse Thorn has a good blog. I'd start with her coming out story.
posted by chrysanthemum at 7:49 PM on February 27, 2013


Seconding Fetlife, and adding that you can install an image blocking plug-in as there are a lot of pictures on the site (here's one for Firefox, as an example).
posted by krakenattack at 9:40 PM on February 27, 2013


Definitely Fetlife. It's not sketchy at all, and there are all kinds of groups and forums, including groups for people who are new. There are NSFW pictures, so I'd probably use it in incognito mode if it were on a work computer, but I wouldn't worry about it installing anything.

If you're looking for other reading materials, Clarisse Thorn's blog is really good. Andrea Zanin also has an amazing blog -- she often writes about 24/7 relationships, but she writes about all kinds of stuff and I think it's worth reading no matter what you're interested in.
posted by oranger at 9:51 PM on February 27, 2013


Seconding Andrea Zanin; she's an old friend formerly from Montreal, and a great kink writer and blogger.

Also came here to recommend Fetlife; there are many discussion groups to join, just search according to your particular interests. Some groups are more active and helpful than others, so keep this in mind and consider joining several to find out which are most helpful to you.

Eventually, you might want to investigate a BDSM "Munch" in your local area; these are kink-friendly gatherings held in safe vanilla settings, such as a café or restaurant, for kinksters to meet in person and discuss common interests. You should be able to do a search on Fetlife to see if one has been set up in your local BDSM community.

Good luck!
posted by Jade Dragon at 10:46 PM on February 27, 2013


FetLife is your best bet. Old MetaFilter advertiser SuicideGirls also has pretty active forums dedicated to every imaginable aspect of sex-positive thinking and kink.
posted by absalom at 6:10 AM on February 28, 2013


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