Should I keep dancing?
February 26, 2013 8:16 PM Subscribe
Should I keep dancing (at a club)? By dancing, I mean topless dancing, lapdances, typical men's club activities.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (17 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I've had some serious financial issues, and in an effort to get my head above water, I started to consider what it would be like to dance at a club. Well, I did it. And I am having extremely mixed feelings about what happened.
At the same time that I feel ashamed, I feel sexy and powerful. I love to face my fears and I love the adrenaline rush of pushing myself outside of my comfort zone. And yet, I am having trouble sleeping, thinking about what I did. I'm walking around with my arms crossed, as if I couldn't be clothed enough, and I feel...forgotten somehow. I came home and looked at myself in the mirror, and all I saw was a little girl. I can't explain it, but I feel lonelier than ever. Invisible, even though it was just me up there, with everyone looking. I can't decide if I should go back. I feel like I'm standing on the edge of a cliff, daring myself to jump. I want to and I don't want to.
I don't know how to reconcile the two sides of how I am feeling. Not to mention, I need the money. I am wondering, will it get better? Should I continue?