How Long Should I Wait To Text a Potential Friend?
February 23, 2013 6:01 PM Subscribe
So I know it's suggested that when you're beginning to date someone, you wait awhile afterwards before you text them. Does that wait also apply when you're trying to make new friends?
posted by dean_deen to Human Relations (10 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
Saturday, I met a guy at a meetup in a bar where it was too loud to really get to know anyone, but he took pity on my poor, out-of-place soul and engaged me in conversation. I only stayed a couple of hours and didn't get a chance to say goodbye, so I sent him a message asking if he'd be willing to meet up and hang out one-on-one. He said yes, but specified that he only wanted to do it as friends (which was fine by me, since our interaction was so brief and the thought of dating a random person just doesn't work for me).
Tuesday--We met for coffee and had a nice time. I know that, at least at that time, he was interested in hanging out once more because he paid for both of our drinks and and told me I could pay for his the next time. I invited him along to a concert I was planning on going to Saturday. He said he'd listen to the band first and get back to me.
Wednesday--He texted me to say it was good meeting me and says we should do something Saturday. I ask what he'd like to do, in case he didn't like the band, but he didn't respond directly and just asked what the name of the band was so that he could check their music out.
Friday--He texted me saying the music isn't his thing. I didn't ask him if he'd rather do something else, because I already had stressed twice in previous texts that we could do something during the day or meet up for dinner beforehand. And I figured for whatever weird reason he either wanted to see the group or just not meet up at all--which, to my perspective, is a bit strange, but whatever. Different strokes for different folks...right? Or is this a bit strange?
That same night, I sent him an email with some other suggestions for music to check out. I would like to hang out with him again this week, but since he didn't mention meeting up again the last time we texted I wonder if I should just wait a few days first? I don't know if I'd come off as too strong or desperate if I ask him to hang out again so soon, since I just sent him that email too.