How do I deal with my boyfriend's love of marijuana?
posted by anonymous to sports, hobbies, & recreation (53 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend is great. He's funny, smart, musically talented, a total dreamboat, good in bed, blah blah blah. But he smokes pot.
Not like, all the time. At least, not now. He used to be a daily smoker, and has been arrested for possession multiple times. His therapist urged him to quit, and so he cut back a bit - he only smokes maybe once a month. He's like Gollum when he buys weed for himself, though - he will just constantly smoke it until it's gone. It's all he can think about doing.
Also, when he smokes pot, he's worthless. I know that some people are go-go-go when they smoke weed, and it makes them creative and engaging, but my boyfriend is like a log. He gets high, wants to have sex, falls asleep for 3-4 hours, wakes up, repeat process, maybe with some pie. It's annoying to me, because he'll do it on a weekend, and instead of us doing something fun together, he's laid up in bed sleeping all day.
I am not a drug user in the slightest. He has used lots of drugs in his youth, and so I know a lot of what I feel about his smoking habits are my insecurities that I'm such a square and totally not cool enough. His ex-girlfriends would do drugs with him while they were dating, and I'm not into that, so it makes me feel like I'm not fulfilling him, although he says that he likes my squareness.
Despite my squareness, I have no problem with marijuana at all - I think it should be legal, I know plenty of people who smoke it regularly with no issues. I just don't really like my boyfriend when he's high.
Last night, he told me he was going to buy weed this evening. I made my concerns known, and he said he felt bad that I didn't like it, but that he really wanted to do it, so he was going to anyway. I respect that, but this is the second time this month that he will be doing it, which worries me. He has expressed concern that he would go back to smoking every day, that he's not sure if he can keep up the once-every-month-or-so thing.
He also suffers from depression, which is medicated and under control now, but he has said that smoking pot was the only thing that made him feel better when he was unmedicated, and so I kind of have a soft spot in my heart for that - I hate that I don't like this thing that made him feel like a normal person when he was in such a dark place in his life.
He has put up with me while I've drank to excess at parties and get-togethers, including any vomiting and/or injury, so I get that we're both not fun to be around under the influence. Thinking of the times where he's taken care of me while I've been drunk makes me more likely to not hate on him when he's smoking. Is this just something that I just have to learn to deal with? And if so, how do I do that?
As far as ages go, we're both in our late 20s. We've been together for a little over six months, but the relationship has progressed VERY quickly, which is unlike both of us - we both think that we are pretty much perfect for each other, we live together, we have talked about a future together... except for this issue that I can't get over.