I live in a three bedroom, two bath apartment. Roommate A (current occupent of master bedroom) is moving out. Roommate B and I are trying to decide who should get to move into master.
posted by tan_coul to human relations (42 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
Roommate B has a bf, who has been unofficially living here (read: living here full-time but not paying any rent or utilities) for the whole time I've lived here (1.5 years). bf will be officially joining lease when we resign in April with new roommate (so there will be total of 4 people in apartment--me, Roommate, bf, and new roomie).
Roommate says since she has seniority (she moved in 8 months before I did) and since she is sharing room with bf, they should get the master bedroom. If they stay in current bedroom, three people would be sharing one bathroom (her, bf, and new roomie), and that would be too much. Whereas if they moved into master bedroom, it would be two people per bathroom (her and bf in master bathroom, me and new roomie in other bathroom). She also thinks that since they will be paying significantly more in rent (according to lease, adding a 4th roommate is an extra $500/month, which they would of course be paying), they should get the biggest room.
While I get her points, I feel like I've been really taken advantage of during my residency here. I was not aware when moving in that bf was permanent, free-loading fixture. He and Roommate were dismissive of my request that he either be paying some rent, or spending less time in the apartment (he had his own key, and spent lots of time in the apartment when Roommate was not even home, which I didn't think was a fair imposition on me--when I brought this up, he said that I was asking him to pay money to breathe the air, and that I had problems). I did not get any say over him now officially moving into the apartment (though I am glad he will at least finally be putting on his big-boy pants and paying rent). Situation is not helped by the fact that I am (as you probably have gathered) not a fan of the guy--he has always made me a bit uncomfortable, and by now, things have escalated to the point where we basically avoid each other at all costs.
Anyways, being put in this situation for the past year and a half has made me really, really ready to have more of my own space. Having the master bedroom would be great in giving me more of a sanctuary from bf.
I don't think that I should automatically get the room. But I do think I have equal claim over it. I proposed flipping a coin, but Roommate was very dismissive. She thinks I should just concede room.
If I do get master bedroom, I would feel slightly guilty about sticking new roomie with bf. But at the same time, he's not my responsibility, and I'm not sure it's fair to put that concern on me.
Other potentially relevant info:
Master bedroom is $950. Roommate's current bedroom (which I would move into if I didn't get master) is $800. My current bedroom (which would go to new roomie) is $750. This does not reflect rent hike once bf joins lease--they would be paying the $500 on top whichever room they're in.
I thought about moving out entirely, but our rent is really, really reasonable compared to what else is currently on the market. And even if I get Roommate's current room, and they get master, I'll still end up with more space and privacy than I have now--bf would (theoretically) spend much of his time in master, my bedroom would be larger than my current one, I would no longer have to deal with lots of hallway traffic, and I would only be sharing bathroom with new roomie. Also, I like Roommate (though issues with bf has made things decidedly more strained lately).
tl;dr, Does roommate with bf get automatic master bedroom dibs, or does fact that he was inflicted on me without my consent give me the right to request a coin-toss? Is it my responsibility to take new roommate into account, or theirs?
Please no advise to just move out--Trust me when I say I've given it a lot of thought, and staying is my best option at the moment.