Intrusive thoughts after terrible dream
February 18, 2013 1:34 PM Subscribe
I've been experiencing what I think are intrusive thoughts after a horrible nightmare and I don't know what to do.
About 2 weeks ago, I had the most horrifying dream of my life. In the dream, there was a guy that had lined up my eight-year-old daughter and some of her friends in my bedroom, and one by one, he made them slit their own throats with a knife hanging on a string from the ceiling. I'm crying even typing this, because I canNOT get it out of my head. Seeing her in line, terrified and crying...it has fucked me up big-time.
Since then, I've been having these kind of thoughts about everything...like, my son is having his tonsils out in a couple of weeks, and I've been imagining all the things going wrong, imagining them cutting in his throat...really kind of graphic stuff, as well as thinking about him going back to the operating room and crying and being scared. I read things and I immediately am imagining terrible things happening to people...like kids being beheaded or something like that.
I know I probably need to get to therapy stat, but I've had nothing but bad therapy experiences and I'm hesitant to get back on that horse. Is there something that I can do for myself when I'm having these thoughts? Is this likely a transitory thing that will pass with time or will it get worse? Is this more logically attributed to anxiety or possible OCD?
Relevant info: 34 year old female, diagnosed with bipolar 2 and taking Lamictal (the probable culprit for the terrible dream in the first place); also taking nortryptiline (sp?) for migraine prevention.
About 2 weeks ago, I had the most horrifying dream of my life. In the dream, there was a guy that had lined up my eight-year-old daughter and some of her friends in my bedroom, and one by one, he made them slit their own throats with a knife hanging on a string from the ceiling. I'm crying even typing this, because I canNOT get it out of my head. Seeing her in line, terrified and crying...it has fucked me up big-time.
Since then, I've been having these kind of thoughts about everything...like, my son is having his tonsils out in a couple of weeks, and I've been imagining all the things going wrong, imagining them cutting in his throat...really kind of graphic stuff, as well as thinking about him going back to the operating room and crying and being scared. I read things and I immediately am imagining terrible things happening to people...like kids being beheaded or something like that.
I know I probably need to get to therapy stat, but I've had nothing but bad therapy experiences and I'm hesitant to get back on that horse. Is there something that I can do for myself when I'm having these thoughts? Is this likely a transitory thing that will pass with time or will it get worse? Is this more logically attributed to anxiety or possible OCD?
Relevant info: 34 year old female, diagnosed with bipolar 2 and taking Lamictal (the probable culprit for the terrible dream in the first place); also taking nortryptiline (sp?) for migraine prevention.
You should tell your prescribing doctor what you just told us, including the fact that you have a child who is about to have surgery - which is a hugely stressful thing - so that she can provide you with something for anxiety relief that will not interfere with your other medications.
You don't need therapy because you had a bad dream you can't shake. (This is advice for a different day, but a person with Bipolar really needs a support team, so finding a therapist you like should go on your to-do list.) You don't have to page Dr. Freud to make the connection between throat surgery and throat-cutting nightmares and throat-cutting anxiety and a general bucket of worried feelings about the surgery. You're under a lot of stress, address that ASAP and you will feel better and this will pass. And if it persists you'll already have a dialogue open with your doctor about it.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:44 PM on February 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
You don't need therapy because you had a bad dream you can't shake. (This is advice for a different day, but a person with Bipolar really needs a support team, so finding a therapist you like should go on your to-do list.) You don't have to page Dr. Freud to make the connection between throat surgery and throat-cutting nightmares and throat-cutting anxiety and a general bucket of worried feelings about the surgery. You're under a lot of stress, address that ASAP and you will feel better and this will pass. And if it persists you'll already have a dialogue open with your doctor about it.
posted by Lyn Never at 1:44 PM on February 18, 2013 [9 favorites]
There is a track called "Counting Backwards from Ten Breathing" on the album "Guided Relaxation for Teenagers" (which I recommend constantly on AskMe, and is not just for teenagers) that outlines a basic relaxation technique that can be used anywhere without a lot of time. You take a big, deep breath, hold it, and release while thinking TEN. Then nine, eight, etc. It helps if you do guided relaxation exercises regularly and know how to relax and clear your mind on command.
When I struggle with self-harm intrusive thoughts I also rely a lot on a cute sloth imaginary friend. I identify the thought and think "NOPE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW GONNA FURIOUSLY THINK ABOUT MY CUTE LITTLE SLOTH BUDDY INSTEAD."
posted by Juliet Banana at 1:47 PM on February 18, 2013 [7 favorites]
When I struggle with self-harm intrusive thoughts I also rely a lot on a cute sloth imaginary friend. I identify the thought and think "NOPE NOT GONNA THINK ABOUT THAT RIGHT NOW GONNA FURIOUSLY THINK ABOUT MY CUTE LITTLE SLOTH BUDDY INSTEAD."
posted by Juliet Banana at 1:47 PM on February 18, 2013 [7 favorites]
What a horrible thing to have happen to you.
Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, I try to
1] Be aware that they're happening. Trying to fight them off just makes them worse. I try to just sit with the thought as well as I can.
2] Realise that it's just a thought. It's not actually happening. It's just a few milliwatts of energy in my brain. It's not physically going on out there, it's just a random thing that's happening totally inside my own head.
3] Leach all of the colour out of the thought, or make it fade away in some fog, or even do that wiggly screen effect they used on Wayne's World. Anything to stop it in its tracks.
4] Redirect my brain to something else once the thought is over. I try to focus on something light and happy ASAP.
It takes a little practice to be able to do it, but I've had good success. I completely agree with the idea of speaking to your doctor though. That nightmare sounds really traumatic and I can totally see how it would shock you. The sooner you start trying to get some kind of treatment for it, the sooner it will start to go away. There's no harm at all in speaking to your doctor about it and s/he might be able to prescribe you something.
posted by Solomon at 2:09 PM on February 18, 2013
Whenever I have intrusive thoughts, I try to
1] Be aware that they're happening. Trying to fight them off just makes them worse. I try to just sit with the thought as well as I can.
2] Realise that it's just a thought. It's not actually happening. It's just a few milliwatts of energy in my brain. It's not physically going on out there, it's just a random thing that's happening totally inside my own head.
3] Leach all of the colour out of the thought, or make it fade away in some fog, or even do that wiggly screen effect they used on Wayne's World. Anything to stop it in its tracks.
4] Redirect my brain to something else once the thought is over. I try to focus on something light and happy ASAP.
It takes a little practice to be able to do it, but I've had good success. I completely agree with the idea of speaking to your doctor though. That nightmare sounds really traumatic and I can totally see how it would shock you. The sooner you start trying to get some kind of treatment for it, the sooner it will start to go away. There's no harm at all in speaking to your doctor about it and s/he might be able to prescribe you something.
posted by Solomon at 2:09 PM on February 18, 2013
It's normal to have hangovers from terrifying dreams or intrusive thoughts after being helpless. Normally with a dream, you'd expect that it would fade over a few weeks but since you mention your son's upcoming surgery, I'm going to guess this is your anxiety about that really ramping up, and suggest it may instead fade after surgery.
(In other words: your kid is having surgery, you feel helpless and afraid, this is your brain overloading on that.)
posted by DarlingBri at 2:20 PM on February 18, 2013
(In other words: your kid is having surgery, you feel helpless and afraid, this is your brain overloading on that.)
posted by DarlingBri at 2:20 PM on February 18, 2013
Healthy people have horrible dreams too. I'm don't have any mental health disorder, but I do occasionally have incredibly vivid and disturbing dreams. These usually happen to me when I'm under stress and I'm not getting enough sleep.
The only thing that works for me is to stop and experience the dream. I can't distract it away because it'll just keep coming back. I usually sit down in a safe, comfortable place and let the dream replay all the way to the horrible end. Then I acknowledge that this is a nightmare, not reality. Nearly every time, when I let myself replay it I can figure out what anxiety the dream was addressing. It's still a shaky feeling but knowing that the dream is about something in my life helps me. It's not foretelling the future; it's anxiety leaking out as anxiety will do.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, because those dreams suck mightily. I hope you can put it behind you soon.
posted by 26.2 at 2:21 PM on February 18, 2013
The only thing that works for me is to stop and experience the dream. I can't distract it away because it'll just keep coming back. I usually sit down in a safe, comfortable place and let the dream replay all the way to the horrible end. Then I acknowledge that this is a nightmare, not reality. Nearly every time, when I let myself replay it I can figure out what anxiety the dream was addressing. It's still a shaky feeling but knowing that the dream is about something in my life helps me. It's not foretelling the future; it's anxiety leaking out as anxiety will do.
I'm sorry this is happening to you, because those dreams suck mightily. I hope you can put it behind you soon.
posted by 26.2 at 2:21 PM on February 18, 2013
Ooh how awful! Sorry to hear of your horrible dream.
Something that helps me somtimes is looking up the meaning of those types of dreams. Dream Moods has a great online dictionary. I know it's not going to be the magic cure, but it might provide you with some kind of relief to think about the meaning rather than the actions of the dream.
posted by Youremyworld at 3:11 PM on February 18, 2013
Something that helps me somtimes is looking up the meaning of those types of dreams. Dream Moods has a great online dictionary. I know it's not going to be the magic cure, but it might provide you with some kind of relief to think about the meaning rather than the actions of the dream.
posted by Youremyworld at 3:11 PM on February 18, 2013
I'm sorry and I feel for you. This happens to me sometimes too, more so since having a baby recently. The only surefire way (for me) to end the cycle is to sit and REALLY think it through again, picture it in all its horrifying detail. Then, throw in a clown, bunny, or "Lights, Camera, Action!" announcement from the Director. In other words, give it an alternate ending.
So for this one I might think about how ...and just as they were lining up the Swat team busted through the window, they had been watching this guy all along... OR ... and just as the kids were lining up the string the knife was hanging on turned into a snake and slithered away and the kids shrieked and ran out of the room.
But then you have to re-picture it over and over with this alternate ending. Or at least a few good times.
This helps me. And I think giving it some focused attention, like really thinking about it and not trying to push it aside, helps lesson the hold it has on me too in a face-the-fear kind of way.
Hugs.
posted by click at 3:24 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
So for this one I might think about how ...and just as they were lining up the Swat team busted through the window, they had been watching this guy all along... OR ... and just as the kids were lining up the string the knife was hanging on turned into a snake and slithered away and the kids shrieked and ran out of the room.
But then you have to re-picture it over and over with this alternate ending. Or at least a few good times.
This helps me. And I think giving it some focused attention, like really thinking about it and not trying to push it aside, helps lesson the hold it has on me too in a face-the-fear kind of way.
Hugs.
posted by click at 3:24 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
Mod note: From the OP:
I feel really dumb because I totally didn't realize the throat connection. However, the dream happened a few days before my son's appointment where surgery was suggested. It may have been still on my mind from when he had strep the weekend before, but I'm not sure.posted by jessamyn (staff) at 3:24 PM on February 18, 2013
I'll send a message to my pdoc and see whether he suggests any sort of anxiety med. I just feel like I have no security filter anymore...things that I wouldn't worry or fixate on normally are just setting up camp in my brain. I can't imagine sitting and trying to "experience" all of that.
Thanks for your thoughts so far...and Juliet, I may sub in a kitten or lemur for your sloth.
For the record, OCD is often characterised as an anxiety disorder. In OCD it seems to be that very basic feelings of insecurity actually drive up the frequency that you imagine bad things, AND that you take these imaginings so seriously. (i.e. "How could I possibly think something so terrible?? I must be a terrible person!").
The two main therapeutic approaches have already been mentioned by others above. The first is to treat it a bit like a phobia, and get over it by gradual exposure to the stimuli and realising that in fact nothing bad has actually happened (i.e. record the imagining, go over it again and again until it loses it's shocking value). The other approach is to try and imagine other alternate scenarios instead (for instance, the man (who is actually someone really admirable) comes and give a delicious ice cream to all the kids, and everyone is really happy).
posted by leibniz at 3:33 PM on February 18, 2013
The two main therapeutic approaches have already been mentioned by others above. The first is to treat it a bit like a phobia, and get over it by gradual exposure to the stimuli and realising that in fact nothing bad has actually happened (i.e. record the imagining, go over it again and again until it loses it's shocking value). The other approach is to try and imagine other alternate scenarios instead (for instance, the man (who is actually someone really admirable) comes and give a delicious ice cream to all the kids, and everyone is really happy).
posted by leibniz at 3:33 PM on February 18, 2013
Therapy ain't gonna cut it. You are living with at least two biomedical conditions, and you are taking at least two drugs to help you live with those conditions.
You need to talk to your doctor about what is going on. It seems logical that this is an issue that can be addressed by adjusting your medication, rather than via "therapy".
posted by KokuRyu at 3:51 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
You need to talk to your doctor about what is going on. It seems logical that this is an issue that can be addressed by adjusting your medication, rather than via "therapy".
posted by KokuRyu at 3:51 PM on February 18, 2013 [1 favorite]
I cannot add to the excellent advice given by other people here in terms of medication and talking to your doctor, but I will offer some reassurance: last year I had a dream so horrible, so incredibly disturbing on some level, that even thinking about the fractured imagery I remembered from it made me feel physically ill for days afterward. I was freaked out by anything that had the slightest association with that dream (particularly bright white stadium-type lighting). Any time I felt scared or sad or anxious those images would just flood into my mind again and trigger terror and nausea.
And you know what? Those feelings persisted for a while, but they eventually went away over time. Now I can look back and go, "Gah, what a terrible dream!" but it doesn't do much more than that. Hang in there, it will get better!
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:08 PM on February 18, 2013
And you know what? Those feelings persisted for a while, but they eventually went away over time. Now I can look back and go, "Gah, what a terrible dream!" but it doesn't do much more than that. Hang in there, it will get better!
posted by WidgetAlley at 4:08 PM on February 18, 2013
I have bad nightmares sometimes, and playing Tetris helps me clear out images in my head that I can't shake. I think I've mentioned it before, but I've read playing Tetris has been used to help people with PTSD. Here's a free online Tetris game. Try playing it for 15-20 minutes for a couple of days and maybe it'll help you get those awful images out of your head, which would probably help with the intrusive thoughts.
posted by colfax at 4:14 PM on February 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
posted by colfax at 4:14 PM on February 18, 2013 [3 favorites]
I had a period of time a couple years ago when talking to my father on the phone or hearing his voice in a phone message or even talking about or thinking about him led to the worst dreams later, in which I would repeatedly fight and/or kill him. It got to where I would completely avoid all contact with him just because of these dreams, which had nothing to do with reality, beyond the fact that my father and I haven't always gotten along, and he was an abusive figure in our family during my childhood. I don't know why it started, but it doesn't happen very often anymore. So just know that this sort of thing can get better!
posted by limeonaire at 8:51 PM on February 18, 2013
posted by limeonaire at 8:51 PM on February 18, 2013
I feel for you, i'm going through a similar thing at the moment.
I just recently had a really horrible experience in the sea and thought i would drown. I am really struggling with this coming back to me a lot just randomly but also it being brought on say, last night i watched a nature programme about penguins and seeing them being washed up on rocks etc it hit me again. It gets so real that i find myself holding my breath and all tensed up and as the experinece was so frightening at the time i get quite freaked out again and i seem to be replaying it in a what might have happened way.
I can only tell you what i'm doing when this is happens is immedediatey in my head i 'shout' STOP IT at myself and force myself to think of something else instead (like i say to msyelf, i'm going to think about X) and to make sure that my 'nice instead' thougth can in no way relate back to the scary thing so, like cake or what i'm planning on buying when i go shopping at the weekend.
I cant speak to anything else i'm afraid but i hope you take some of the more prescriptive advice here about your doctors/therapists and i hope your sons surgey goes well.
posted by moreteaplease at 5:04 AM on February 19, 2013
I just recently had a really horrible experience in the sea and thought i would drown. I am really struggling with this coming back to me a lot just randomly but also it being brought on say, last night i watched a nature programme about penguins and seeing them being washed up on rocks etc it hit me again. It gets so real that i find myself holding my breath and all tensed up and as the experinece was so frightening at the time i get quite freaked out again and i seem to be replaying it in a what might have happened way.
I can only tell you what i'm doing when this is happens is immedediatey in my head i 'shout' STOP IT at myself and force myself to think of something else instead (like i say to msyelf, i'm going to think about X) and to make sure that my 'nice instead' thougth can in no way relate back to the scary thing so, like cake or what i'm planning on buying when i go shopping at the weekend.
I cant speak to anything else i'm afraid but i hope you take some of the more prescriptive advice here about your doctors/therapists and i hope your sons surgey goes well.
posted by moreteaplease at 5:04 AM on February 19, 2013
I'm really sorry you've had this experience, it sounds frightening and draining.
I absolutely agree that you should speak to your prescribing doctor about your prescriptions, but I also think you should consider seeing a therapist for 2-3 very focused sessions to talk through your thought processes and find ways to cope with intrusive thoughts. I personally find acceptance and commitment therapy more helpful for anxiety than CBT, but YMMV. I agree with Lyn Never that finding a therapist you like will only help you in the future.
It's important to figure out how you can diffuse these intrusive, distressing thoughts in the moment. Speaking for myself, I know that if I ever started looking up dream dictionaries or reading into the symbolic meaning of my upsetting thoughts I'd drive myself insane, because suddenly the thoughts would feel real and significant rather than inconsequential.
posted by nerdfish at 1:38 AM on February 20, 2013
I absolutely agree that you should speak to your prescribing doctor about your prescriptions, but I also think you should consider seeing a therapist for 2-3 very focused sessions to talk through your thought processes and find ways to cope with intrusive thoughts. I personally find acceptance and commitment therapy more helpful for anxiety than CBT, but YMMV. I agree with Lyn Never that finding a therapist you like will only help you in the future.
It's important to figure out how you can diffuse these intrusive, distressing thoughts in the moment. Speaking for myself, I know that if I ever started looking up dream dictionaries or reading into the symbolic meaning of my upsetting thoughts I'd drive myself insane, because suddenly the thoughts would feel real and significant rather than inconsequential.
posted by nerdfish at 1:38 AM on February 20, 2013
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Can you call your pdoc and let him or her know you are dealing with intrusive thoughts? This could be med related.
Oh, and (((hugs))) as this has to be just awful.
posted by St. Alia of the Bunnies at 1:41 PM on February 18, 2013 [3 favorites]