Boyfriend hates Valentine's Day
February 13, 2013 11:41 PM Subscribe
Boyfriend hates Valentine's Day and doesn't want to celebrate it. He is super loving in other ways. What should I do? Questions about your experiences inside.
posted by 3491again to human relations (75 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
My boyfriend hates Valentine's Day. I know he loves me, and shows me all the time in ways large and small -- but he hates scheduled events, hates social expectations, doesn't like romance or flowers or anything like that and is a very stubborn person in general who hates to be pushed into doing anything. We've discussed it ad nauseum. He says he is willing to go along with my plans, but keeps complaining about it.
We've been together for over a year, and this is our second Valentine's Day. The first one was a few months after we got together and it was simply awful. He told me to plan something, then he didn't like what I planned, refused to go, refused to plan anything else, needed reassurance that it was okay even if he didn't go, and we ended up having a tense dessert out after missing our dinner reservations and then went straight home. We didn't do much for our anniversary either. He's not huge on gift giving for anyone in his life, although he's very loving and there for people when they need him.
I'm not a materialistic, girly girl type in any way. I'm pretty counter-culture and nerdy and laidback. But I really like being acknowledged on special days, and I'm a huge fan of thoughtful gifts and loving gestures.
- What are your thoughts on Valentine's Day? Do you think it's a stupid commercial holiday? Do you celebrate it? How do you celebrate it?
- If you hate it and your significant other loves it, how do you compromise? Or if you love it, and they hate it, how do you celebrate? (I'd like to hear both perspectives.)
- And what should I do tomorrow? I'd like to get him a gift (I have a few in mind and I love getting things for him) but I know I won't get anything from him.
- Should I make my own plans to go out with friends? I'm totally capable of doing that, but it would feel kind of sad.
- I could just let it go, of course. Have you ever done this? Has anyone you've dated ever done this because of you? How did it go?
(In case you are wondering: He's generous and kind in many ways and my life is immeasurably better for having him in it. No DTMFA, please.)