Help me find a non-sucky but affordable nursing home in NYC for my dad.
February 12, 2013 5:56 PM Subscribe
My dad is 78 and his body is breaking down due to a long bout with Parkinson's. He's been in a rehab facility for the last month and his time to stay there (that is covered by Medicare) is running out. He wants to go home, but he will need 24 hour care and I'm not sure that's a feasible option for many reasons I'd rather not go into (not the least of which is that "home" is a 4000 square foot loft with plenty of places to fall, which is a real danger with Parkinsons patients)
He and I are not (nor have we ever been) particularly close, and I do not live in the area anymore, nor am I particularly inclined to go care for him myself (not that I would have the expertise anyway). I do want him to be somewhere that he can be cared for and comfortable, though.
I have very little experience doing research for this kind of thing, but the two places he's been in short term rehab have seemed not so awesome, vibe-wise if not care-wise.
It seems like a shady industry, to be kind, but I was hoping someone might have a recommendation for a place that they've had elderly relatives at that takes medicaid and is reasonably kept up and warm-hearted, preferably somewhere in Manhattan (as that's where most of the friends who would be visiting him are located).
He has retirement funds of a little over 100k to spend.
Please no advice about mending fences here. Our relationship is fine, it's just never going to be great.
I have very little experience doing research for this kind of thing, but the two places he's been in short term rehab have seemed not so awesome, vibe-wise if not care-wise.
It seems like a shady industry, to be kind, but I was hoping someone might have a recommendation for a place that they've had elderly relatives at that takes medicaid and is reasonably kept up and warm-hearted, preferably somewhere in Manhattan (as that's where most of the friends who would be visiting him are located).
He has retirement funds of a little over 100k to spend.
Please no advice about mending fences here. Our relationship is fine, it's just never going to be great.
I should say... our experience with Amsterdam nursing home was in 2006, and Jewish Home for the Aged in 2008.
posted by kimdog at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2013
posted by kimdog at 6:39 PM on February 12, 2013
As an indicator, Amsterdam Nursing Home racks in at about $500 a day, which is only slightly above the Manhattan average. This is obviously not sustainable on your father's funds. Part of the cost can be met by Medicare/Medicaid but if you know nothing about this and don't want to spend the next three months wading through the healthcare system, benefits, entitlements and learning about power of attorney and medical proxies, you're not alone. There are private social workers in NY who basically do nothing but help families sort this stuff out. (Think of it like elaborate private college guidance but for the aging, ill and/or elderly.)
24 hour home care may in fact be cheaper, and can also be paid or part paid by Medicare/Medicaid. He may find one on one care more or less tolerable, depending on his personality. You can probably make adaptations to your father's home that will make it safer for him.
If you are not local and not inclined or not able to provide local hands-on help, I would recommend a public or private social worker even if you have to pay for it yourself. Your father would also be well advised to consult with an eldercare attorney, as what assets he has and where will further complicate this.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:40 PM on February 12, 2013 [2 favorites]
24 hour home care may in fact be cheaper, and can also be paid or part paid by Medicare/Medicaid. He may find one on one care more or less tolerable, depending on his personality. You can probably make adaptations to your father's home that will make it safer for him.
If you are not local and not inclined or not able to provide local hands-on help, I would recommend a public or private social worker even if you have to pay for it yourself. Your father would also be well advised to consult with an eldercare attorney, as what assets he has and where will further complicate this.
posted by DarlingBri at 7:40 PM on February 12, 2013 [2 favorites]
Parents of several different friends have been in Ft. Tryon Nursing Home and Isabella Geriatric Center, both in Washington Heights. If it were my dad, I would look into an apartment in Isabella's assisted living area. There are different gradations of care and he may not be ready for a full-scale nursing home just yet.
At the moment I know 2 people in the assisted-living section (they are quite old) and they seem to think it is OK for being, well, a nursing home.
People I've known whose relatives were in Ft. Tryon were a little less complimentary, but there have been no huge scandals there that I know of.
From the former social worker end, I personally would rather deal with Isabella on administrative matters, but this is going back a few years ago already.
Washington Heights has QUITE A LARGE number of elderly people. He might not, at the present time, be in the right frame of mind for, say, lunch at the senior center, but if he does, hopefully, have more time to get out and do stuff (I am familiar with Parkinson's, unfortunately), there is quite a social scene at the Y.
Whatever he now enjoys farther downtown is just a cab ride away...I know that a cab is no joke on a fixed income, but if, say, people want to take him out for a concert or whatever he's into, this is not exactly Suffolk.
78 is really young for W.H....I wish him as many good or OK years as he can get.
posted by skbw at 8:31 PM on February 12, 2013
At the moment I know 2 people in the assisted-living section (they are quite old) and they seem to think it is OK for being, well, a nursing home.
People I've known whose relatives were in Ft. Tryon were a little less complimentary, but there have been no huge scandals there that I know of.
From the former social worker end, I personally would rather deal with Isabella on administrative matters, but this is going back a few years ago already.
Washington Heights has QUITE A LARGE number of elderly people. He might not, at the present time, be in the right frame of mind for, say, lunch at the senior center, but if he does, hopefully, have more time to get out and do stuff (I am familiar with Parkinson's, unfortunately), there is quite a social scene at the Y.
Whatever he now enjoys farther downtown is just a cab ride away...I know that a cab is no joke on a fixed income, but if, say, people want to take him out for a concert or whatever he's into, this is not exactly Suffolk.
78 is really young for W.H....I wish him as many good or OK years as he can get.
posted by skbw at 8:31 PM on February 12, 2013
Best answer: Looking at your history, I see that his present apt. is in the East Village. He might be happier in a less-than-perfect place in a better (more downtown) location. Talk to him about the tradeoffs.
I see that Bialystoker nursing home on the Lower East Side finally closed...I mention it because it may come to mind...but sadly I do not have any ideas so far down.
This is a task for professionals. I would strongly, strongly advise calling the UJC of the Lower East Side and doing a "phone intake" with them. He will go on their client rolls and then they can give him more than just quick referrals.
They may or may not be the world's greatest agency--I mention them only because I know they exist, having worked with an affiliate--but they at least will have some ideas. Your father is most likely in their "catchment area," meaning they are required to serve him. The gov't gives them money to serve people living between streets X and Y and Avenues A and Z. It's not a matter of race/color/creed, despite the word "Jewish" in the title--all are welcome.
posted by skbw at 8:53 PM on February 12, 2013 [1 favorite]
I see that Bialystoker nursing home on the Lower East Side finally closed...I mention it because it may come to mind...but sadly I do not have any ideas so far down.
This is a task for professionals. I would strongly, strongly advise calling the UJC of the Lower East Side and doing a "phone intake" with them. He will go on their client rolls and then they can give him more than just quick referrals.
They may or may not be the world's greatest agency--I mention them only because I know they exist, having worked with an affiliate--but they at least will have some ideas. Your father is most likely in their "catchment area," meaning they are required to serve him. The gov't gives them money to serve people living between streets X and Y and Avenues A and Z. It's not a matter of race/color/creed, despite the word "Jewish" in the title--all are welcome.
posted by skbw at 8:53 PM on February 12, 2013 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thank you all for your comments, they've been very useful. I think we will use the help of a social worker to coordinate.
I should mention that he is not in very good shape and so at this point its more about him having access to doctors and having friends able to visit him rather than whether he'll feel social enough to go to bingo.
posted by softlord at 10:51 AM on February 13, 2013
I should mention that he is not in very good shape and so at this point its more about him having access to doctors and having friends able to visit him rather than whether he'll feel social enough to go to bingo.
posted by softlord at 10:51 AM on February 13, 2013
This thread is closed to new comments.
We had a less favorable impression of Jewish Home for the Aged on W 106th. There didn't see to be as much hands on care happening. We came in to visit my partner's dad, and his roommate was laying on the floor, calling for help (my partner's dad was very hard of hearing and didn't hear him). And when I went out into the hall and hollered for help, it still took a minute or two to round somebody up. The facility had some interesting features- like an small indoor aviary with birds that residents could watch, but that area of the building was so cold, that it was uncomfortable to sit there. It also felt more like a hospital- not very homey.
posted by kimdog at 6:38 PM on February 12, 2013