What's wrong with this dog?

February 11, 2013 8:22 PM

I adopted a dog on Saturday, a Silky Terrier mix. He had just gotten to the pound the day I adopted him, having been dropped off by a family who said they couldn't afford him. He's a very sweet dog and hasn't made a peep since I got him (seriously, not even a whine). Thing is, he won't eat. He's eaten maybe five tiny pieces of Kibbles and Bits and hasn't relieved himself in solid form, despite many walks. I finally gave in and gave him canned food and he took a bite, then ran off with the remainder, dropping it in the middle of the hallway and not touching it after that.

He also hides under my bed every chance it gets, although does end up on the bed at some point in the night and refuses to look anyone in the eye while it's being petted. He also doesn't really seem to like being petted. He'll sit there for thirty seconds or so, but he makes it pretty obvious he's had his fill by scampering off the first chance he gets.

I've had a few dogs before but none of them acted quite like this. He was returned merely two weeks after being adopted and I'm starting to wonder if this kind of behavior is why. He's perfectly nice (and seems to be house-trained, which is certainly a bonus), but I'm not sure what to make of this. I kind of expected a more affectionate dog.

Any suggestions?

posted by amiableamy to pets & animals (36 answers total)

It sounds like he has anxiety. He was presumably in a decent household since he was house trained, but was then was at a shelter for who knows how long, then went home with a family for only two weeks, then back to the shelter, and now home with you for only three days. That's a lot of uncertainty and disruption to deal with, even more so because he can't understand most of it.

Give him time to warm up to you. If he won't look you in the eye, there may have been previous abuse, or at the very least old-school training of the "you must dominate your dog to make him obey" variety. You need to make it clear, through your actions, that you are a kind and loving human. Don't make him go outside his comfort zone. Give lots of praise, treat for behavior you want, and he will come around.

Every dog is different, just like people, but I've never known a dog not to show any affection at all once they have bonded with their humans.
posted by trivia genius at 8:32 PM on February 11 [11 favorites]

Non-medical suggestion: hydrate his kibble.
posted by deludingmyself at 8:33 PM on February 11 [3 favorites]

You adopted him on Saturday? As in...two days ago? Give him time. Like 6 months or so.

And upgrade to a better dog food. Kibbles and Bits is full of filler. Slowly switch over to Orijen or Taste of the Wild, and you'll have a healthier dog in the long run.

In the meantime, read up on Clicker Training and positive reinforcement.

Do you know much about dog training? Have you read the other threads here on dog training or would it be useful to point them out to you?
posted by barnone at 8:33 PM on February 11 [8 favorites]

"I adopted a dog on Saturday" + "I kind of expected a more affectionate dog" = does not compute.

Please give this dog more time to feel comfortable in this new environment and with a new person before labeling him unaffectionate.
posted by HopperFan at 8:34 PM on February 11 [7 favorites]

It sounds like the little guy has been through a lot in the past weeks, not to mention his previous history (which, although not known to you, may also have been chaotic). He needs stability, kindness, and some time to relax. Give him few weeks to get used to you and his new home. This is very typical behavior for a rescue dog. Be kind to him and don't push.
posted by quince at 8:34 PM on February 11 [4 favorites]

And yeah, don't expect him to feel comfortable yet, either! My rescue took a week or so to warm up to us and relax, as well as really not being comfortable with dry food to start with. Even now he is kind of weird about eating food in our presence, but that doesn't stop him from being affectionate (now that he knows who we are, and that we're awesome). Seriously, two days is nothing. It's awesome that he's good about the housetrained, but your dog needs space and time. Make sure he has tempting things to gnaw all that anxiety out on in the meantime.

Also, picture?
posted by deludingmyself at 8:37 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

I feel like there's a whole lot of concentration on the "unaffectionate" part and not much on the "not eating" part, which was my main concern.

Obviously I'm going to give him time to break out of his shell, but I'm concerned about his health. How long can a dog go without sustenance before it's unhealthy? Or do they just buck up and start eating when they're truly hungry?
posted by amiableamy at 8:57 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

I know cats and dogs are different, but I adopted a cat a few years ago who was abandoned in an empty house, and he acted a lot the same. if you cornered him he'd accept petting for a few minutes, but clearly wished to hide and wouldn't eat.

after a few days of pressing him too much I eased up, left food out for him, talked gently to myself when I knew he was around hiding, left little treats near his hiding spots, went to bed to let him come out and do his cat-business and drink and eat, and after a few weeks he just sort of.. felt more comfortable, and while he's still skittish of strangers and cups of ice (who knows) he is generally an adorable lap cat.

I also had some misconceptions about what getting a pet would be like and was disappointed with my stray to start.. but I'm glad I persevered and let us get to know each other in a time frame that worked for both of us.

don't force it. also, dogs aren't cats and won't have terrible side effects from not eating for a couple days if they're too nervous. for now just make food available (probably not too close to you) and do everything you can to make the dog feel comfortable and soon enough you'll have your new best friend!
posted by euphoria066 at 8:57 PM on February 11 [4 favorites]

If you're really worried about him eating after a few days, try some other options: rice with cooked chicken, or cooked liver, even some turkey slices, or a blob of peanut butter, or plain yogurt (no sugar or flavorings). A bit of pumpkin will add fiber. They all smell much better than Kibble and Bits, and will be a bit more tempting. Once you're on a schedule you can worry about the actual nutrition a bit more.

Try dropping the food as you go, or tossing it to the side of the dog. It'll start to reinforce the idea of you = yummy treats!
posted by barnone at 9:06 PM on February 11 [13 favorites]

He has been through alot of scary changes in the past little while he is probably saving showing his affection until he is sure his good life with you is going to last. It took my Silly rescue 2 - 3 weeks to start to open up to us and seek us out for pats and our Rat Terrier who had been badly abused took almost 18 months to really relax and show us his goofy side.

Give the dog some time, kindness and cosistancy and I bet you will start to see changes in only a few weeks.

The food thing might be tied to submissive behavior, maybe give the little guy some space when he is eating it sounds a little like he is giving way to the food to you , thinking of you as the boss dog. You might want to find out what they feed him at
the rescue
posted by wwax at 9:07 PM on February 11

Agree with everyone else. I have a lovely terrier (Australian) and just love these types of breeds.

Just let him be for a while, dogs generally love attention and so when he becomes used to the new sights/smells/sounds, he'll warm up.

Also I highly doubt an animal would let themselves starve when food was redily available. He'll eat when he's hungry.
posted by Youremyworld at 9:07 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]

Also try mixing warm water or chicken stock or even shredded cheese with the dry food to make it more attractive. You could try some boneless cooked chicken to get the dogs appetite up and running and then wean the dog onto the food of your choice a little at a time.
posted by wwax at 9:17 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]

One of our adopted dogs was a very picky eater when we first got him. For quite awhile, we got him to eat by topping his food with Iams Savory Sauce. It's like gravy for dry dog food. Might be worth a try if you get really worried!
posted by pril at 9:18 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

I sounds like he's making a den under your bed. Put some food and water under the corner of the bed. He will eventually eat. At this point, it doesn't matter what he eats as long as he eats.

He's a stressed out boy. Let him feel really safe in his little den.
posted by 26.2 at 9:20 PM on February 11 [5 favorites]

Hopefully he's just not pooping because he's not eating, but I would say you should try putting food where he can eat it out of your sight ("sneak" it), and maybe also try giving him some yogurt with it in case the return of eating also comes with gastric upset.

Sadly, there's no telling what happened to him before he went to the pound, and it may be weeks before he starts to get some dietary equilibrium. If feeding him out of sight doesn't get him to eat in another day or two, I would say bring out the big guns: meat baby food and/or wet cat food (baby food is a lot healthier than wet cat food, but any port in a storm). Wet cat food is my vet bellwether - if the dogs won't even eat that, we're going in right now.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:33 PM on February 11 [3 favorites]

I adopted a cat 9 days ago and she is still not eating the way I expect she will in a few months. She needs me to sit with her and has only started eating more than half her food (the stuff that was her favorite special treat in the shelter, where she lived for almost 6 years) in one sitting.

Give it time. Warm water on the dry food might help. Just be patient and gentle. Hiding her food or leaving it near her hiding spot is a great idea.
posted by k8lin at 9:45 PM on February 11 [1 favorite]

PS - do you have a visit to the vet scheduled in the next few days? That's a good idea for any newly adopted pet, even if they had care at the shelter. Bring this up with your vet if you're still concerned when you bring her in for her first visit.
posted by k8lin at 9:47 PM on February 11 [10 favorites]

There may be a chance that the shelter has contact info for the donors -- maybe they know what food he's used to (or maybe he ate at the shelter and you can copy their food selection). If he could get familiar food, that might lessen his stress a little.

Re: baby food -- look for varieties with no onion - Beech Nut is good for this. I've only ever bought chicken, but most brands seem to try to season with "gravy" or something, which includes onion. Beech Nut chicken has _only_ chicken in it, which means you don't have to worry about added ingredients being accidentally poisonous for animals.
posted by amtho at 10:08 PM on February 11 [2 favorites]

Seconding barnone and the rest who are advocating for yummy stuff that wouldn't be a normal diet. Once he starts eating, you can slowly start mixing in the boring stuff to get him transitioned. One thing I wouldn't do is toss food or anything, even a ball. Squat down to interact with him, don't look him in the eye--it can be interpreted as a threat, move slowly, talk softly, and talk a lot, and let him come around at his own speed.
posted by BlueHorse at 10:40 PM on February 11

Nthing giving it time. We had a cat once that took a full year to become familiar, but once she did became the most loving cat. But the thing that took longest was eating when we were around.

A big one is giving him space, especially around food. The time spent eating food is vulnerable time. While he does not trust you, you need to be well away from your dog when you want him to eat if that's a point of anxiety for him. The temptation is to sneak peeps or sit there and watch.

It's also a good idea to put him in a room of his own so he feels secure, but line his bed with things that smell of you. You can then trial keeping the door closed, ajar, open until the dog feels secure enough to venture in. You can also trial being in the room ignoring the dog for short periods of time, and extend them up so your presence goes from threatening to neutral (and, in time, to desirable). It feels like jail time, but that is not how your dog will see it.

You don't know what associations your dog has made between innocuous events and bad things, but food is a classic point where people can and do muck about with their pets because it is a point of control.

More attractive food is a good idea, but go easy or you risk a gastric upset. Absent a medical problem, your dog is hungry, and will eat food you put down. Be sensitive to dehydration though. If your dog goes several days without rehydrating, then speak to a vet.
posted by MuffinMan at 12:26 AM on February 12 [1 favorite]

Both of my dogs suffered from shelter shock when I adopted them. Took a couple of weeks for their personalities to totally change. One poor little dog scuttled like a crab everywhere, he was so scared. Just flattened to the ground. It just took patience. Now he is a lover.

You should take your dog to the vet to see if there's anything wrong with his teeth. One of my dogs would just shudder and shake a meal time. I could barely get her to eat. Turns out that she had rotten teeth. After having them extracted, she was fine. She still trembles a little when she feels nervous at mealtime but is doing so much better now. I have had her for a year and she still gets shaky sometimes even though I've never raised my voice or punished her for not eating. Only positive encouragement and love. We make little strides and I am happy with that.

For picky eaters, you can try Natural Balance Food Rolls or make a porridge out of rice and chicken breast.
posted by dottiechang at 12:41 AM on February 12

Almost every bit of this is what happened with our rescue (and she turned out wonderful).

It seemed like our (adult rescue) dog would never poop or pee when we first got her... We seriously called her The Amazing No-Pooing No-Peeing Dog. It was bizarre. And when she finally did go, she would only do it when we couldn't see her (which meant inside). We figured maybe she had been punished for this in the past... or was just too freaked out by the new situation.

I just kept taking her out on walks, knowing that eventually she would have to do some business – and when she did finally pee or poop, I gave give her nice chicken treats and stroked her and praised her lavishly. And of course, I didn't punish her when she went inside. I was just very visible about cleaning it up. She learned really, really quickly that it was a fine and dandy thing to go ahead and do her business while out on a walk, and was totally house trained within a few days.

She was also really sad and morose, and not affectionate, and wasn't at all interested in her food (kibble that the foster folks gave me). She'd eat a bit but not much. She had certain health challenges, so I started making her food myself (which I still do), and she pretty much flipped for the new stuff, and it was the first sign of enthusiasm we saw in her.

Taking a bit out of the bowl and dropping it elsewhere to eat suggests that your dog is uncertain if he is supposed to be eating from that bowl (doesn't realize it's "his"), or is worried that he might be attacked for taking food from the bowl. He may have been with other dogs, eating from the same bowl, and having to grab some and run away with it. I noticed this in my dog when she was visiting at the home of a friend with a dog. My friend put some kibble in her dog's bowl for my dog to eat, and my dog grabbed some and took into another room and dropped it on the floor before eating it.

And our pooch is silent, too. Again, we don't know why. Maybe she was punished for barking, or maybe it's just her nature. It was weeks before we even knew she was capable of vocalization of any kind (dogs in the neighborhood started howling for unknown reason, and she joined in). She still almost never makes a sound. She'll bark at a dog that's charging her, and she'll occasionally let out one big bark when she's frustrated that she wants to go out and I'm not paying attention. She does quiet little barks in her sleep, which makes me think that her total non-barking state is not natural, and probably a result of punishment.

She was super submissive in the beginning... way, way too much so, and not affectionate (she would just tolerate some petting). She's still not the sort to demand affection, but she's really happy and animated when we cuddle and play with her. She's very, very confident now and not afraid of anything except water hoses, and just not happy about water generally. Not fond of baths, though not as insanely freaked out as she was in the beginning (serious panic). Again, we think she was probably punished with spraying by water hose.

Your dog is just freaked out and afraid with all the changes, and has surely had some bad experiences. Just stay calm and kind, reward the behavior you want to encourage, don't punish him if he messes up (goes in the house), and project confidence and serenity. You can feed him by hand from his bowl, reinforcing that you are the one who gives the food, and that the bowl and the area around it is his space and safe. It will be amazing and wonderful to see the changes happen as he becomes more and more secure and begins growing into his true personality. But it will take some time, so be patient. I noticed landmarks as various stages: a couple of weeks, a couple of months, a couple of years. I remember the first time (about three months in) that I saw my dog carrying her tail high and jaunty while on a walk. Man, I almost cried. In the beginning she would lay down in the middle of the street and refuse to move when she heard traffic noise from several streets away, or saw something weird and strange.

Congratulations on your new pal! He should be fine after a period of adjustment and it's really a pretty amazing thing to see a dog blossom under your care. Feel free to PM me if you have any specific questions, since it seems like our dogs have had quite a bit in common.
posted by taz at 1:19 AM on February 12 [12 favorites]

Oh! I forgot to say this: not looking you in the eye is pretty natural. In dog body language, looking one (another dog / you) in the eye can be aggressive and challenging. He's being super careful not to appear aggressive and signalling that he's not going to challenge you.
posted by taz at 1:34 AM on February 12 [5 favorites]

Poor puppy. (And yes, poor you, I know this is stressful.)

I've had rescues like this. (One of my rescue cats has been with us for 16 months and she's STILL getting the hang of it all. Poor slow dumbass cat. She was also returned to the shelter from an adoption because the family thought she was not good and/or fun enough. Now she's a blast; but you know, it took more than a year of structure, affection and private time in equal parts. She still sometimes petulantly hunger-strikes.)

All of these are good tip aboves—space, random food snacks, human food, treats, gentleness, no staring-down—and mostly, don't be alarmed about the eating. He will come around. I've seen animals starve themselves for a lot longer than this. (Just make sure water is plentiful and attractive.)

I would say that Kibbles & Bits is not perhaps an ideal food. Not to be one of those Animal Freaks (okay fine, I am, SORRY) but a great warm sloppy high-grade grain-free wet food will result in a gorgeous coat, excellent pooping and a healthy dog. (And leave out some excellent dry food all the time, while the pooch is acclimating.)
posted by RJ Reynolds at 5:35 AM on February 12 [2 favorites]

"No healthy dog has ever starved to death in the presence of good food." Your dog is freaked out, he'll eat when he relaxes. My dog can go as long as 6 days without eating, drinking only water, before she gives in. Absolutely anything can trigger this, including when we go on vacation, when I leave her with my husband for a few days, having work done in the house, anything at all. She also didn't eat when we first got her. It's okay.

Oh, and like a lot of rescue dogs who were abused, she doesn't bark.
posted by DarlingBri at 5:40 AM on February 12 [2 favorites]

Do you have a crate? You might consider feeding him in a crate. I have one dog who won't eat unless he's inside his "house". (Probably to feel safe from my other dogs, who are notorious mooches.) But if he's spent some significant amount of recent time in a shelter, he may feel weird and vulnerable being out of a crate (hence the hiding under the bed routine). You don't necessarily have to lock him in it, just leave the door ajar or take it off completely.

I can't be sure of my advice until I see a picture of the Silky in question, however.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 5:44 AM on February 12 [1 favorite]

It can take 2-3 weeks for stress hormones to wear off, plus he's adapting to a totally new place and person on top of a significant amount of upheaval.

Use dog body language to your advantage and send him lots of calming signals - yawning, licking your lips, etc. Walk obliquely towards him instead of directly, keep a side profile, etc. Crouch to make yourself closer to his size.

My rescue dog barely picked at her food (mostly just tipped over the bowl) when we first got her, from both stress and food allergies. She's on a quality wheat/soy-free food (from, of all places, Walmart at about $1/lb) - brewer's rice is okay as long as it's not a main ingredient as well as an antihistamine. We tried her on Taste of the Wild and she didn't care for it. Nthing above - her coat is softening out amazingly. She also is highly food-motivated, so she gets chicken/meat scraps as treats and training snacks.
posted by bookdragoness at 6:02 AM on February 12 [4 favorites]

My dog was like this when I first got him also. Used to piss himself when you petted him actually, and spent a lot of time under the bed or sofa. Took a couple of months of not fussing over him too much, but just being gentle and with regular walks and mealtimes (ie at the same time every day) for him to become a bit more normal. Took about a year and a half to become what the rest of the world would call a 'normal' dog. Be kind, gentle, quiet and he'll come good.
posted by stevedawg at 6:11 AM on February 12 [1 favorite]

I would just like to add that my dog had been returned 4 times to the dog rescue when I got him. I was the 5th adopter. And I also found it difficult to relate to him because he was so unfriendly. It's totally worth holding out tho, your dog WILL come good, but it will just take a bit of time and patience.
posted by stevedawg at 6:17 AM on February 12

Try putting his food in a place that he'd see as 'safer' like under a table (don't make him eat out in the open), and yeah, try some better dog food or some human food. Try to keep a schedule when you are walking him/letting him out, stability is good for the guy, when you can see him guessing what you are about to do, he is gaining confidence.
posted by yeahyeahyeahwhoo at 7:00 AM on February 12

When I adopted my dog, he ate almost nothing for the first week or two. I tried bribing him with stinky canned food, even special dog gravy, but he just started eating when he got used to me.
posted by moonmilk at 8:27 AM on February 12 [2 favorites]

We adopted a cat from animal control and he didn't eat properly for three days or poop for five.

He was definitely scared because, like your dog, he had been surrendered only a couple of weeks before and didn't like the shelter environment -- then he was put in a pet store with a bunch of other cats.

Definitely say you should spoil your new dog with some delicious food, but let him get used to being safe and quiet. He will warm up, I'm sure. (Our cat now sleeps under the bedcovers with us and follows me around.)
posted by vickyverky at 8:31 AM on February 12

I adopted my dog about 1.5 years ago and I would say it took a good six months for us to get to know each other and for her to let her guard down completely.

The first day I had her, she wouldn't eat. She started throwing up, so I took her to the vet. They gave her prescription canned food, which she finally gave in and ate. I thought my dog just wasn't interested in food. You would never think that today! She's the biggest chow hound I have ever met.

She also didn't want to play with toys for a couple weeks. One day, she picked one up and started running around with it and we started playing.

She didn't seem to be interested in treats, such as rawhides, at first. I would give her a rawhide and she would hide it somewhere. Now, she takes these treats enthusiastically and runs all over the house playing and throwing them in the air before she chows down.

She didn't want to cuddle at first and didn't seem all that interested in me. Now, I can barely use my laptop without her pawing at the keyboard and trying to lay on my lap.

I think it will take several months before you really know your new dog.

Also, think of it from her perspective. She doesn't know you. She's suddenly in a new house with a new person. It must be terrifying. Imagine if you were suddenly plopped down in a new house, with a new family and just expected to adjust.

Lastly, I think you should take her to the vet for a check up to ensure she's healthy. My dog ended up having heart worm, despite a clean bill of health from the rescue's vet.
posted by parakeetdog at 9:43 AM on February 12

How long can a dog go without sustenance before it's unhealthy?

Longer than you'd think -- my dog had some severe stomach issues a few years ago, and the vet recommendation was always a couple of days of "gut rest" (i.e., no food whatsoever) then tiny amounts of very bland food, gradually increasing back to a regular meal. The dog lost weight, but quickly gained it back when she was able to resume normal meals consistently.

He also might eat more if you leave the kibble out and then go somewhere else and aren't watching him.

My dog took a good six weeks to stop being completely freaked out from being given up to a shelter and then adopted, and she only spent a couple of nights there. And it was probably a year before her full personality showed up. Things will get better!
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 9:55 AM on February 12

Oh man with pets every day of adjustment feels like weeks! Your dog will be fine if he doesn't eat much or at all for a little bit, he's just nervous. I would try some (higher quality) wet food, but don't worry if he won't touch it for a few more days. I would also try feeding in his crate, with the door closed, so he knows it's *his* and that nobody will take it.
posted by radioamy at 1:59 PM on February 12

Thanks everybody. Time was all it took; he's eating a little bit and seems to be a lot less anxious. I'll definitely look into changing his food.
posted by amiableamy at 12:21 PM on February 13 [5 favorites]