Possible long distance relationship with military man....advice
January 29, 2013 12:33 PM Subscribe
Hoping for advice, encouragement, discouragement, honesty, etc. I just ended a marriage (shy of one year) last year and am newly single as of four months, I was in a 6 year relationship which ended because I realized my ex was not faithful and continued to question our marriage.
posted by love2much to Human Relations (12 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Being able to step back and analyze the marriage I am now able to see it wasn't what I thought it was ever. I am happier than I have ever been, in therapy still and re-building my life. I have been on a couple dates and have been keeping myself busy with sports, social events and getting out there with friends to meet people. A chance encounter a month ago with a stranger which has led to the possiblity of a long distance relationship is why I have come here for advice.
We had an instant connection, if I could write down everything I would want in someone he would be it. I know, nobody is perfect and I have only known him for a month, so there are flaws I am sure of it. Here is the problem, he has visited me once two weekends ago, and stayed extra after I met him in December- he is military and will be stationed 4.5 hours from me for 3 years. (I am 29, he is 34). Everything about our goals, aspirations, dreams, likes, wants, etc. mesh well, we feel like we have known eachother for years, talk every day, he is an amazing person and makes me feel like a princess- someone I know was put in my life for a reason. He is someone I would wait for. My question is, is this do-able? Will we fall out of love because of distance and then I have wasted more of my life... we are still new so we both want to see as much of each other as we can to get to know each other better, and we have talked about being faithful to one another while we are doing this, and have agreed to try to see one another every 2 weeks or close to it. If we continue on this path for a few months and feel closer than we do now, is this a bad idea to go from divorce to an LDR if you are sure this is the person for you? Anyones thoughts/experience. As backround, we have talked about the possiblity of a future, I know he is ready to settle and be committed with one woman, he is so open and honest with his feelings and how strong they are for me and his hope that we can continue to get to know each other.
My internal dilema is, how can I pass up someone that may be the one- but then I ask, do I need to be with someone who is physically near me at this moment. I am a very strong and independent woman and have called the distance (at the moment) a blessing because it has given us the opportunity to really talk and get to know one another, set boundries, talk about our feelings, and for me to continue to learn about myself on my own. I know I would be strong enough to handle a military relationship (ps- he retires in 3 years and will not be re-inlisting and there is always the chacne of deployment in those 3 years). Thanks for reading everyone.