Give me ammo for the next sexist conversation
January 25, 2013 6:40 AM Subscribe
I work with a group of colleagues that I get along well with, mainly male. However, certain subjects come up, my Sexism Klaxon starts going off... but any comments I make always get batted down with "chill out we're only joking" or something similar. Can you give me tips to not always come out of these conversations either seething with frustration or feeling like the Grand Ruiner Of Conversations?
posted by greenish to Human Relations (89 answers total) 34 users marked this as a favorite
Here is an example conversation:
Male Colleague: that barmaid is hot
Me: I agree she is very attractive
MC: the other one looks like a man though, she'd have to have a paper bag over her head for me to want to get near her
Me: what makes you think she'd want to? (attempt at retort) anyway that's a nasty way to talk about people
Other Male Colleague: chill out he's only joking
MC: should have known you can't say stuff like that with a woman around
1. My actual retorts, like the above are generally seen as moot points and ignored. I could do with some more effective ones
2. The common end comment, as above, implies that if I wasn't around it would be fine to talk like this, which is not the point I'm getting at either. I don't want it to be about me being offended, i want them to understand that these remarks are widely offensive.
3. Other male colleagues seem extremely reluctant to take any side other than that of the two guys who tend to make these comments. There is a culture of, if you side with the woman, you're less of a man.
4. I've tried the "would you talk about a man that way" tack, but it just meets with blank stares and, no of course I wouldn't, I don't look at blokes like that.
I feel like there ought to be a simple answer to this. I'm usually pretty good at debate but these conversations always just leave me stumped and/or looking stupid.
Feminists and zinger-wielding mefites, help!