It's like my body doesn't want to go back.
January 24, 2013 7:52 AM Subscribe
I have been on sick leave for the past 10 days due to first the flu, and then some flu-related complications. I am due to go back on Monday and I'm panicking, literally.
The thought of going back to work made me burst out crying earlier this morning.
I strongly suspect this is less about the flu right now, and more about general unhappiness with my work situation, and anxiety, but I'm a total mess. How do I pull myself together when I only have 72 hours left?
My job is very mentally draining, as well as physically demanding, and I am suddenly not feeling up to it any more. I feel a lot of resentment about having to work long hours, including nights, always under pressure, making life-and-death decisions while sleep-deprived. I'd been doing this for 10+ years, and recently increased my hours for financial reasons. I am very thorough in my work, usually, and I truly give it my best. People used to comment about how enthusiastic I always seem. But now I feel like I have nothing left to give any more. It's like severe burnout, overnight edition.
The flu really tired me out, I feel tired just going from one room to another, or washing the dishes. Now whenever I think about going back to work, I literally want to puke, and/or start crying. Next week, I am supposed to work 8 AM to 7 PM four days out of seven, plus one day mid-week when I'm working 24 hours nonstop. There is no way to reduce my hours next week, or the following week, unless I quit, which is not an option.
What can I do, over the weekend, to physically and mentally prepare myself for this transition? How do I combat the panic? I guess what I need are some mental hacks to calm down and take it one day at a time. But also, I'm torn between taking all the naps I can and forcing myself to exercise. Aren't all those naps only making me weaker?
Any tips/advice greatly appreciated.