The one I like isn't the one it will probably work out with.
January 23, 2013 4:23 PM Subscribe
I'm a woman, 20s. I'm talking to two women - A and B. A has everything I want on paper, and there's a spark there... but there's more of a spark with B, who has next to nothing I want on paper. Is it a bad idea to pick B?
posted by Pericardium to Human Relations (18 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I'm trying to be vague in case either of them happen to be members here. A has what I know I like in a partner from previous experience - talkative, job, car, outgoing, all around awesome. B has no job, no car and is shy and not very talkative. I also have a difficult time reading her due to aforementioned shyness.
I'm the type of person who likes to talk for hours and hours, likes activity-based things, and likes to be able to read the other person, which matches with A's preferences. B finds activity-things to be awkward due to the talking involved and prefers to do something like watch a movie. I also have a feeling that a lot of social activities I like to do with my partner are going to be out due to B's shyness. I went on two dates with B expecting there to be nothing there, and actually ended up really liking her.
The problem is I feel more sparks/butterflies with B, but I don't know if it could work long-term... A and I have a good long-term outlook and crazy chemistry but now I'm going to know that I could feel more of a spark with someone else. I don't feel anything when I kiss A, but my insides go wild when I kiss B. But I can be weird about kissing and sometimes that has to grow overtime... so I don't know if that should be a factor?
I've been taking things slow and neither person expects exclusivity yet, but with the rate things are going with A and I I'm guessing I'm going to get asked to be exclusive soon. If you were in this situation, who would you pick? Or would you throw them both back into the sea? Or maybe pick A and see if it just takes more time to see if the spark gets to the level it is with B? Is it a horrible, horrible idea to pick B and hope for the best? Am I overthinking all of this?