I like someone, how do I talk to them without sounding crazy?
January 18, 2013 8:14 PM Subscribe
I like a guy but I don't think of myself as attractive. Obviously, he is attractive to me, but I also think he is considered attractive by most people. People tell me that you should always aim for your own attractiveness-level, so I'm wary about this already. Plus I really don't know how to talk to him because I've placed him on this pedestal and I am completely in awe. How do I approach him?
posted by madsy to human relations (27 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I have zero experience dating. I am super awkward when it comes to boys partially because I have no experience with boys (no guy friends growing up and so on) but also because I tend to be overly anxious and weird. I can come across as very intense sometimes, so I try to mellow it out when I like someone a lot which usually means I end up being completely silent and weird (and then people think I hate them which isn't the case).
I over think, analyze and freak out over everything which I guess is normal but I will actively convince myself to let it go. I see pretty much everything as a rejection. Eventually, I will let it go and I am determined not to do this anymore.
We've talked a few times and we have a lot similar interests. He is really nice. He laughs at my jokes, we have easy conversations. The problem is, ever since I've developed this crush, I've lost my ability to talk to him normally. I worry that I'm bothering him if I message him and when I see him in class, I avoid him because I see too many of his friends around him. Plus, there was this whole incident where I messaged him about something, and he basically ignored me for two weeks. He apologized later and said he remembered seeing it and thought he had replied but forgot instead.
I want to get to know him better. I don't want to just ask him out because I really don't know him that well. How do I do this?
I am going to summarize all my questions, because right now, I'm fairly certain it sounds like a gigantic mess.
1. Should I give up on this because he is way better looking than I am?
2. How do I get the courage to talk to him?
3. How do I express my interest in him without coming off as insane/needy/weird?
4. How do I determine what is actually rejection and what is just normal contact?